and his fellow conspirators had made their way up the mountainside.
"Bring me the
tablet." The man who had mocked the guard back at the check point brought
it. "Soon, we'll be the richest men on Earth in a world where everything
for everyone is perfect!" In actuality, Laurence had every intention of
killing his followers. He was just keeping them around to hold off the
Mods when they got there and distract them so he could have everything
he had ever dreamed of for himself.
The Garuda .5
flew toward its destination, which could clearly be seen although they
were still far away. Boo squeaked in amazement at the mountain. Rado Goji
was getting nervous as he needed to be brave at this point but not used
to doing so (without getting in trouble). Minsc looked at the mountain
in anticipation, eager to see what was there.
"Only a couple
of minutes until we reach Mt. Rodan," he announced. He saw Rado's nervousness.
"What's on your mind, partner?"
"I was just thinking
about EDCOLE," Rado replied. "What they wanted us to stay out of, and why.
Maybe this is it. Maybe we should check on Gamingboy."
"There's no turning
back now," said Minsc. "Just think, Rado. We could be heroes! Or better!"
It got Rado to thinking. He saw Jet Jaguar's car below. If there was anything
to do to get recognition, this was it.
"You know, Minsc?
I got to thinking. You were right all along. I've been a wuss all my life.
Wusses don't get recognition. It is time to be brave, and, um, kick...
"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!"
shouted a happy Minsc. "Rado has been awakened, Boo! The time has come
to kick the hiney of evil ten-fold of our normal evil-hiney-kicking potential!
Rado is a wuss no more and the RMB Mercenary Service is at full power!"
Boo squeaked in delight.
"Let's punch it!"
said Rado as they sped toward the mountain.
It wasn't long
before a blip came on the radar and a large black terranodon like monster
came into view.
some engine power to the shields and prepare for evasive maneuvers! I don't
know what this thing is but we should steer clear of it before it kicks
As Raptor, Sheriff
Jaguar and Queen Ghidorah were plotting their course of action for tackling
the rugged terrain of Mt. Rodan, a strange craft flew overhead and buzzed
them. Raptor's first thought was to unload the Mossberg at the brash fly
boy but the nimble craft dipped its wings in salute.
"You think it's
Kobayashi?" JJ asked.
"No telling. Let's
try to hail that thing." Unlike the Terror from Osaka, Minsc knew what
a radio was for and relieved Boo of the mike, even if he himself sounded
like an extra from SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT. The prospect of finally being
able to talk to the Sheriff was sufficient encouragement for the RMB crew
to circle around and land at the base of Mt. Rodan to join up with the
four wheelers. Miyako Aso also picked up the transmissions and announced
her and Obake's addition to the squad.
room for another were-Goji or two, as the Geek himself would insist," Raptor
"The more the
merrier!" JJ rogered. "Let's meet up where the road ends and plan a course
of ascent up this rock pile. What craft are you bringing?"
"Oh, just a little
something from the East River version of the Citagon," she advised. "It
should prove handy for getting around these parts."
"See if you can
ID whatever else you're sharing airspace with. We just got strafed by two
banzai buddies and a hamster." The Sheriff figured he could find something
to keep the newcomers occupied if they proved to be more of a liability
than an asset to the operation.
"What we really
need is communication with Ubergeek and the Count. We wouldn't want to
risk friendly fire if it comes to that."
"I'll see if I
can raise him on the portable," Miyako advised. "Let's just hope he thought
to pack it."
"Roger, Air One.
S.O. out." JJ broke off and set to scanning the mountain looming ahead
was holding the tablet that he, Dr. Phish and Desutoroia had found on this
very mountain. It explained, in an ancient language that only a select
few (including Laurence) knew, the secret to entering the golden land of
Utopia. But he wasn't satisfied. First he had to find the gateway. He spotted
an old cave entrance.
"Utopia is mine,"
he whispered. His men followed as he entered the cave and in fifteen minutes,
they had reached the exit. Utopia's gateway was nearby.
"This is it! Another
mile and our heart's greatest desires will soon be filled with a sense
of satisfaction." Little did Laurence realize that up above them on a cliff,
Ubergeek and Super Jet Jaguar were lost and searching for a way off the
mountain. Luckily for him, they didn't look down and see them.
Having noted the Count's rather subdued
demeanor, Ubergeek had wasted the better part of the morning leading them
about in figure-eights, hoping Super JJ would reveal what was up with him
before he had to ask the cyborg vampire outright.
“Eh….just a bad trip. Indigestion. Too
many Matango spores on that pizza we picked up in town.” The Geekspawn
was having none of it.
“Really? Then why aren't you sporting
the Undead ‘Shroom-Man® look? Y’know, this is just how those miserable
Stephen King/Wes Craven/Hack Horror Author of the Week™ stories start!
Nobody ever blurts out their Unspeakable Secrets™ in time which, of course,
just eats up any window for snipping the Great Evil® in the bud. And
next thing you know-“
“ALL RIGHT! I’ll tell! Just make the
rant stop!” shrieked SJJ. Ominously misty and dank as the surroundings
were, said shriek attracted rather more of an audience than either Roostafarian
might've liked. And thus was the Count's sordid tale of his nemesis, the
Blue Devil™ revealed.
An upper echelon Lord of Hell, this
bloodthirsty beast, barred from the mortal plane since time forgotten,
built up power with every death on the surface world around his former
haunts (which, unfortunately, just happened to be the rural district of
Roostville). With the recent campaigns of his over-zealous brother-in-torment,
Hellspawn, El Diablo Azul® was only several innocent sacrifices short
of the might to shatter the seals that bound him and wreak havoc upon the
outer world anew. Uber goggled at these and other revelations. With such
a nemesis, no wonder the Count acted so unhinged at times.
Neither traveler was given much time
to brood as the wind shifted, giving away our aforementioned audience.
Nostrils flaring as enhanced olfactory nerves took in a familiar aroma,
Count and Geek turned to see Goji Son and the TMC® but their greetings
died as both took in the aura of blue-black energy crackling about GS.
A feral snarl twisted around SJJ's rapidly-lengthening incisors, eliciting
an unnaturally deep chuckle from the apparently possessed Mod™.
"SO, YOU TWISTED LITTLE TURNCOAT! SEEKING
HELP NOW THAT I STAND ON THE VERGE OF FREEDOM?" The undead warrior’s snarl
actually rose in pitch.
"Uh… did you know he could possess people?"
Ubergeek, not really expecting a response, edged back several steps, spying
the multitude of dark-robed figures quietly encircling them.
A new voice, laced with smug knowledge,
rang out from one Cultist™. “Not without a little help from us, gork. The
Lord Hellspawn’s gonna return for you ALL and this time he felt like inviting
an old friend-“
"IDIOT! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT DISCUSSING
OUR PLANS IN FRONT OF VICTIMS?!"
"Eh… don’t?" The Cultist, reduced to
a tremulous whimper, shrank back among his comrades which did him absolutely
no good as a bolt of blood-red Death shot from Demo-Goji Son’s outstretched
palm, literally splattering the wretch across any immediate scenery, not
to mention several fellow Guys in Black. With a disgusted snort, the possessed
movie producer turned back to Super JJ and Ubergeek, sneering at the former’s
shudder as he fought an upwelling of bloodlust.
"NOW, THEN… WHERE WAS I?"
"You were just about to die by my claws,
scum!" With that proclamation, the Count was flying at the Blue Devil’s
host with taloned hands extended, only to be repelled by a blazing azure
force field, then brutally thrown aside. Leaping up, SJJ took in his nemesis’
disgusted sneer, uttered an ear-splitting roar and dove in again. The combatants
became a nigh illegible blur of claws, fists, kicks and Flashy Eldritch
Bolts™, leaving Ubergeek to glumly survey the assembled Todd McFarlane
Cultists® as they closed about him, reverting to their true shapes.
Robes and flesh tore, horns sprouted, newly compound eyes glowed various
shades of red; freshly fanged jaws hyperextended, limbs popped and snapped
as muscle and bone expanded. When the metamorphoses were finished, twenty
of what resembled Violator’s inbred second cousins bared infernal dental
arrays in hideous slobbering rictuses, promising carnage by the Double-Hefty-Bag™.
For good measure, some forty Walking Skeletons®, drawn to the spot
by El Diablo Azure’s command, erupted from the ground at the transformed
Cultists’ feet. The Geek groaned.
"Say, Jaggy… Don’t suppose you have
a spare Red Button© I could borrow?" No intelligible response was
forthcoming as the Count and his possessed foe continued to trade bone-crushing,
landscape-reformatting blows somewhere behind him.
Mount Rodan, 12:27 AM:
One Spinning Rodan Signal©
later, we rejoin the Count and Geek at Mount
Rodan: 1:17 AM:
Super Jet Jaguar had furiously unloaded
every weapon in his vast and improbable arsenal upon the unfortunate who
housed his greatest nemesis. In return, the Blue Devil had deftly countered
each energy blast, supercharged blow or projectile with improbable evasive
moves; his host's own lesser but still-formidable arsenal and a seemingly
unquenchable font of dark might, never losing the contemptuous leer.
Not far away, a fully transformed and
currently T.rex proportioned Ubergeek was faring slightly better. His foes’
early ‘dog pile’ tactic had backfired in a rather ugly fashion as the were-Goji
elected to bear hug one Cultist-Demon, snatch up another in his jaws, roll
over still another five, then blast the remainder off with an Atomic Pulse
he’d been charging up during the prior moves. he undead ranks, creepy
and EC-esque as they were, proved of little use against prey sporting Uber's
mass and speed. From there, a combination of constant motion, judicious
heat beamery and his regenerative mojo prevented the McFarlaneites from
surrounding and savaging the Geekspawn, though their near-constant slashing
assaults were fraying his nerves. Shaking one especially stubborn demon
off his head and sustaining a nasty if superficial set of muzzle lacerations
in the process, Uber unleashed yet another atomic ray, then spun, sweeping
the red-gold lance of death about him in a circular pattern, intended to
buy him a second for Situation Analysis®. The Cultist-Demons promptly
obliged, scrambling back as the volcanic rock at their feet was scattered
in glowing chunks.
That accomplished, the Geekspawn hazarded
a look at how Super JJ was faring with his dance partner. Relieved
to observe the cyber-vamp holding his own, Uber feigned a moment of weakness,
staggering in a slow, painful looking circle, narrowed eyes and heat sensing
pits sorting out the remaining dozen Demo-Cultists who didn't seem to be
taking the bait but were instead warily spreading out to his right and
left, perhaps preparing a flanking attack. Upping the ante with an exaggerated
left limp, the were-Goji managed to sucker in four D-Cs. A vicious tail
swipe caught one midway through a leap at his haunches; the second and
third were caught underfoot as 7.5 tons of saurian sprang to meet them
and crushed into submission. Number four barely ducked a sweeping right
hook. Newly incensed, the remaining eight Demo-Cultists bored in from several
directions at once, seeking to ravage their temporarily distracted target
with a final mass assault and smashing Super JJ to the hardened lava that
served as their battleground. The possessed Goji Son followed up with a
wave of blue-black power which tore rock apart as it forced the Count up
and over the rim of Mt. Rodan's crater. Sliding towards the volcano's hellish
depths for a good ninety meters, SJJ clawed his way to a stop then froze,
transfixed by a primordial fear as he felt the mountain tremble.
The Black Rodan™®© erupted
from its lair, a terrible blur of motion as it zoomed straight up with
one flap of mighty pinions. Coming to a dead stop in midair, the midnight-dark
beast, silhouetted by the glow of molten rock its emergence had stirred,
pumped its wings to stay aloft, bowling over assorted fighters with gale
force winds before fixing its penetrating ruby gaze upon El Diablo Azure's
human vehicle who was snarling with hatred and fear.
A fiendish booming cackle erupted from
the razor-toothed beak as if mocking the Blue Devil's terror. The hideous
sound was followed by a terrible crackling coruscation of power along the
pterosaur's cranial horns. Jagged bolts of white-hot death raked across
the landscape, converting Ubergeek's erstwhile foes to heaps more ash than
matter and narrowly missing the Geek (who'd immediately started moving
upon detecting an immense ‘heat-spike’ within the monster) and slamming
full on into the energy barrier Demo-GS had thrown up. Punching through
as if it wasn't there, the Black Rodan's flame wreathed about and rapidly
devoured the aura of dark power surrounding Blue Devil's host. With a final
soul shredding howl, the Hell Lord was banished from Goji Son's body, driven
from the mortal plane.
Astonished by this display of eldritch
might, Ubergeek and the Count shrank back. The Geekspawn reverted to human
form, hoping to go unnoticed. The Black Rodan spotted the unconscious (and,
miraculously, non-incinerated) Goji Son's body and the wicked head tilted
slightly; sharp predatory eyes locked on and that terrible beak darted,
only to be brutally diverted from its mark as the Geekspawn, now towering
a full 70 meters at full Neo-Godzilla stature, launched himself into the
pterosaur's path. One taloned hand deftly snagged the winged fiend's lethal
beak and another struck sparks as Uber's claws ripped at the Black Rodan's
ventral armor. Then pterosaur and Godzillasaur derived mutant truly clashed,
rolling back and forth near Mt. Rodan's rim. Beating limbs, snapping jaws
and slashing talons raised gouts of ichor from both Daikaiju, their screams
and roars making what had transpired barely seconds ago look tame.
a morass of long overdue paper crunchery, Suki Ryota (humanoid Demi-were-Goji
and yet another of Ubergeek's many contacts) acknowledged the brief Beacon
of Temporary Freedom®-to-be - mail call - with impressive alacrity,
appearing out of nowhere a good half minute before any of her human co-workers.
Conveniently enough, this allowed for a quick chat with several fellow
Children of the G-Cell™, or would have, if the first bit of relevant ‘snail-mail’
hadn't been a prefabricated Roostville Mod notice announcing Sheriff Varan's
death and scheduled funeral. Since any conventional postal correspondence
with the highly eclectic city-state was erratic at best (and Uber, bent
entirely out of shape by the news and his own pursuits, had totally forgotten
to inform her), this news was an ugly surprise. Rolling into the hallway
upon custom-modified inline skates, Jun Katagiri, Jr. (were-Mire-Goji©
and son of the Former Government Flunky®), was first to feel the waves
of anguish rolling off his comrade. With a visible attempt to curb said
emotions, Suki stiffly handed him the notice. Casually scanning it,
Jun looked up, understanding dawning in his eyes.
“So you worked
with this guy?” A nod. The ex-rudie slammed a clenched fist into the wall,
leaving one very prominent dent. Drawn by the noise, yet another fellow
were-Goji, cerebrally transplanted primate Carl “Kongzilla” Englehorn,
knuckled up to the pair, was informed in turn and extended a massive paw
to gently offer condolences. Perhaps fortunately, the P.A. system quickly
broke up this poignant scene.
“All on duty personnel.
We have an NLKI (Non-Local Kaiju Incident) in progress, repeat, NLKI in
progress. Proceed to the nearest conference room immediately.” First
into said room, Suki, almost in tune with half the Monster Island ‘lifers,’
groaned upon recognizing a satellite based IIR (Imaging Infra-Red) picture
of Roostville, which zoomed in upon the vicinity of Mt. Rodan. Via the
wonders of live satellite feed, two distinct infrared ‘blobs’ could be
distinguished dancing back and forth near the volcano's summit.
Ornithology and they confirm the airborne contact matches up exactly with
a Rodan,” growled Col. Heiachiro Gondo. “But according to our local Audubon
Society™, its thermal readings are off the charts.” This information, disturbing
as it was, had little effect upon the Ogasawara troops who'd grown all
too used to the overblown chaos that defined Roostville. “Now, unless I've
misread the Geiger, Contact 2 is some sort of Gojira derivative. Damned
nimble one, too.”
“Sir!” Suki, recalling
a certain someone's search for a certain Legendary Rodan Derivative™, had
a very good guess just who Contact 2 would turn out to be. “Might I investigate
and see about defusing this situation?”
Gondo arched an
eyebrow. “And just how are you planning to…oh, right, the were-Goji thing.
And odds are that's the Geek tussling with this pumped-up Rodan, right?”
shrugged helplessly: “What can I say, sir? He certainly keeps busy.”
“All right, then.
Anyone care to tag along with Suki for documentation, backup, whatnot?”
Carl was first
to raise a paw. “My sector's been too quiet for the past month. Not much
in the way of Evil Stuff to Smash™ since the Gigatyrannus© incident.
Not far behind,
Jun cleared his throat as he stood up. “It's about time I got off my butt
as well. Besides, something about this sitch reeks of plot-device-ness…
Or something like that.”
then. If you three will follow me to the hangar, we'll hop on a transport.“
Same Roost Time, same Roost Channel:
from an especially nasty eye gouge, the Geekspawn ducked his airborne foe's
next pass; the sonic shockwave of which still rattled his inner ear and
teeth with equal abandon. Reflexively whipping his tail upward, he scored
a glancing blow to the Black Rodan's dire skull with roughly the same effect.
Coasting on a thermal updraft as it regained its wits, the dark Guardian
passed scant meters in front of Garuda v.5, giving said craft's crew one
helluva shock but fortunately ignoring them in favor of its waiting foe.
Wheeling about, the Black Rodan dove straight for the Geekspawn, fury blazing
in crimson eyes and eldritch energy dancing about its horns.
at the foot of Mt. Rodan, a female were-Goji, her shaman comrade and their
bio-armored pilot landed their craft, then sent out a GPS position update
to Raptor's crew, intending to make sure they didn't end up missing the
dark-grey Stingray™ against the volcano's dismal terrain.
At about this
point, a fresh bout of malefic cackle and a thunderous roar reached the
trio from above. Extending their senses, Obake and Miyako caught
the faintest sight of an incredibly swift winged shape which pivoted and
dove back for the mountain's peak as if attacking some unseen prey.
“It would seem
the Guardian has been roused yet again,” mused the shaman.
At that moment,
the winds above shifted, bringing down a jumble of scents, one of which
was instantly recognized by Ms. Aso.
“Great… The Geek's
up there and I doubt that critter is all too happy about it. All right,
you,” she addressed their pilot, who seemed all too ready to be on his
merry way. “Stay here and keep a line open for the Sheriff. We'll be off
bailing Uber's bony behind.“ With that, mage and She-Goji were on their
way up Mt. Rodan's craggy face, perhaps moving a bit too rapidly for safety
by human standards. Burbling its dissatisfaction with the situation, the
Grey settled back in its seat and awaited Jet Jaguar's arrival.
Laurence had heard
the startling cries of some mammoth beast coming from the skies above.
He turned to see what the screeching cry of terror was.
"What the Hell
is that?" The man who had insulted the guard at Roostville's gate stood
"So, such a creature
as the Black Fire Rodan really does exist..." Laurence didn't look too
pleased as he quietly continued his journey up the mountain, hoping that
the disastrous creature would stay up on the ledge where Ubergeek and company
Fire Rodan had also been spotted from the ground.
"My God! What
on Earth is that?" a Mod whispered to himself.
Jet Jaguar had
also seen the monster. "What on Earth could that be? I've never seen anything
like this before." He, Raptor and Queen Ghidorah were shocked at the site
of the Black Fire Rodan. Never before had a species of Rodan so fearsome
and enormous been known in all Kaiju history.
"The Geek told
me about his discovery, remember?" Raptor reminded them. "The Ebon Mutant
Pterosaur™ indeed does exist. As well, it seems that both Goji Son and
the not so Reverend Michael Lazarus who found a certain tablet here have
also shown up."
"I don't know about Goji Son's relationship to all this but Lazarus is
now a wanted felon for interfering with government operations," Sheriff
Jaguar added. "You don't go shanghaiing MY deputies and casting them in
Little Theater productions out in the boondocks!"
"Oh, well. Maybe
we can do something with the idea for ROOSTVILLE: THE SOAP OPERA," Raptor
suggested. "If we can also charge Lazarus with bad scripting and insulting
the intelligence of his audience, I'd be quite satisfied." Queen Ghidorah
As they were preparing
to ascend Mt. Rodan, the Garuda came flying in low to avoid any giant flying
Kaiju that might be up for an early breakfast. Its erstwhile crew (complete
with a hamster wearing a flight suit) presented themselves to the Sheriff
with unusual aplomb and ceremony, considering the circumstances.
SERVICE at your disposal SIR! NO JOB TOO TOUGH! BUTT-KICKING FOR GOODNESS
BY APPOINTMENT ON A COMMISSION BASIS OR AS THE NEED ARISES!" JJ looked
the shouting Minsc up and down as he stood there at attention, all the
while holding a salute.
"At ease, fella.
We'll see what we can come up with," Jet assured him, eying Boo curiously.
The hamster rose on his hind legs in a fair approximation of Minsc's posturing
in response to the robot's scrutiny. The review was soon interrupted by
the sound of various giant entities venting their rage at one another at
the top of the mountain.
from his brawl with Blue Devil's host, Super JJ had been hard pressed to
corral Goji Son in a frantic effort to avoid either monstrous combatant.
Toss a raging thirst into the equation and the Count was basically at his
wits’ end, which probably accounted for his failure to detect one blackened,
battered Demo-Cultist as it slunk up behind him, stretched its hideous
maw wide and plunged silently down for the kill. The Count did detect a
red-hot lance of flame that intercepted the fiend mere inches from his
back and a second later was gaping at a scuffle both brutal and very one
sided. The indescribable noise of a severed arm's wet end being jammed
into its owner's palate finally brought Goji Son to his senses.
bring Tarantino? Dude could learn from this shize…” Yamoto, still a touch
dazed by the speed with which they'd ascended the mountain, leaned on his
staff for a moment, surveying a thoroughly battered pair of Roostafarians
and the grotesquely mangled Ex-Demo-Cultist© they were staring at
before ushering them out of harm's way.
Mt. Rodan's summit within 20 minutes, fallen upon the Count's attacker
roughly half a second later and messily disabled same within roughly half
a minute, Miyako turned her attention to the Main Event™ in time to see
the Geekspawn and his foe trade atomic fire. The red-gold standard ray
merely seemed to disorient the Black Rodan for a moment; its twisted horns
crackling as the excess energy was absorbed. The same couldn't be said
of this new Rodan's own heat beam which twisted and sizzled with a life
of its own. After a split second exposure to the white-hot blast, Ubergeek
reeled, fangs bared in agony. A charred streak of hide ran down his left
side. With a furious snarl, Miyako 'hulked out,' dorsals crackling crimson
to blue-white before they even finished sprouting from her back. One friend
(the depressingly departed Sheriff Varan) had already been lost recently
and she was damned if her consort would suffer the same fate.
off its wings as it pulled through a Mach-1 turn, the Black Rodan lined
up for another run on its stricken prey and met a pillar of blue Hell head
on. Several times more potent than a normal atomic beam and fueled by its
user's towering rage, the Spiral Ray™ simultaneously overloaded its target's
impressive heat metabolizing mojo and stopped it in midair. Nearly stalling,
the demoniac pterosaur clawed desperately for altitude to no avail as Miyako
adjusted her aim to rake across its left pinion, putting the flier into
a flat spin that took it into Uber's reach once more. Sliding back a bit
too close to Mt. Rodan's crater for comfort as he caught the stunned beastie,
Uber perhaps unwisely scanned his surroundings, picking out the Count and
his charge, a staff-wielding ancient whom he recognized with a jolt of
surprise and the imposing sight of his female counterpart charging up to
join him. The only temporarily stunned Black Rodan sliced into the Geekspawn's
chest with outsized talons, clapped its wings together about his head to
produce yet another stunning sonic boom and opened jaws for a point-blank
heat beam. With an extremely pissed off bellow, the were-Goji kiboshed
this last move by slamming open palms into both sides of its skull, wedging
opposable thumb claws under the throat and forcing his foe's beak back
out of play. Thus hindered, the Black Rodan's treatment only got rougher
as Miyako started working its exposed back with tail strikes, each thunderous
blow causing vertebrae to grind and splinter.
“I must say, that
does not look pleasant,” grunted the Count.
“No #$#$ing #$%%,
suckhead-GAH!” Goji Son, still a bit out of sorts, now sported a fresh
bit of cranial trauma to complement his recent release from Upper Level
Obake, with a
warning shake of the Disciplinary Staff™, returned his attention to the
battle, frowning as he took in the punishment both were-Gojis were dealing.
The mage decided it was time to intervene.
"If you will excuse
me, I must offer that Guardian a reprieve."
In more or less
perfect sync, GS and the Count expressed the following sentiment: “What?”
With a shout of
"I shall explain later!" the shaman tore off, racing toward the fray with
great ki-propelled leaps but he was too late to make any difference as
a frenzied Black Rodan unleashed a nasty surprise. Mistaking the fresh
energy spike within their foe for another of those murderous beams, both
were-Gojis were instead blasted with an especially potent Atomic Pulse.
Thrown back on her side, Miyako scrabbled for purchase on the volcanic
rock, coming to a stop after three rolls. Ubergeek, lacking such space,
instead found himself plummeting a good thousand feet into the liquid fire
below, a death-grip taking his foe with him.
Molten rock enveloped
both monsters, then shifted, bubbled and flashed ominously. Clearing her
head with a brisk shake, the She-Goji swept her gaze across the summit
of Mt. Rodan, instantly realized what had happened and sprang up to its
peak, diving in after her consort without a second thought.
as Super JJ astutely observed, could be summarized with one word: “Crap.”
Cursing in antiquated
Korean, Yamoto-san turned away from the crater to spy the second Ogasawara
crew's late-arriving V-22J. With a display of eldritch light, the tilt
rotor transport was waved down about 60 feet away and the Demon-Goji shaman
was soon filling his cohorts in on the recent developments.
As one, Katagiri
and Englehorn let a hearty "Crap!" roll off their lips.
More to the point,
Suki wondered aloud, "So just what the hell do we do now?"
Col. Gondo considered
for a moment. "Well, Yamoto-san has the new Sheriff and a couple locals
en route, right?"
"I say we pick
'em up and hash out a plan before we do anything else. It's gonna be a
long night but I wouldn't write those two off just yet."
Down below, the
sudden quiet was also noticeable.
"Maybe we should
get up there and see what's going on," Queen G suggested. As everyone was
about to ascend, Raptor picked up a familiar sensation she not only felt
from the ground but the very air about them.
"This could get
tricky," she advised. "The Earth Sounds are rising in volume." Jet Jaguar
had also been monitoring the seismic activity but the patterns did not
particularly conflict with norms for such an area.
"The early peoples
of the world were well in tune with the land and could 'hear' what it was
saying," she continued. "Modern geology has yet to apply this to earthquake
prediction and other uses but to put it simply, it is like the effect of
opening a door on a closed room that has been isolated from the rest of
"What are they
saying?" Rado asked, thoroughly engrossed in Raptor's hands now pressed
to the ground.
"A door has opened,"
was all she could make out.
Indeed, a door
had opened. As the Geekspawn and the Black Fire Rodan struggled in the
lava, there was a blinding flash of light and a wall appeared before them;
more of a vortex as the lava drained away. The Fire Bird flapped its wings
and with a SLIDERS - (first season) - like plop!, deposited the
Geekspawn on solid ground once more. He was soon flattened by his fellow
were-Goji landing on top of him. Miyako promptly rolled free and assumed
an upright stance, ready to fight whatever presented itself. Quickly turning
about, she was much surprised to find they were now within a magnificent
tableau with all the splendor and architecture of ancient Greece or Rome.
Back in the surface
world, the V-22 was soon spotted rapidly descending from the summit of
Mt. Rodan. Well before the rotors stopped spinning, an ancient shaman,
Jun Junior, a great ape-like creature, Suki Ryota, Col. Gondo and Count
Super Jet Jaguar piled out. Goji Son remained aboard, in no shape for further
adventures at the moment.
"Well, looks like
the gang's all here," JJ quipped.
Col. Gondo presented
himself and introduced his party from Ogasawara. "I believe it would be
proper protocol for you to take command of this situation, Sheriff, as
this is your jurisdiction..."
"Thank you, Colonel,"
the robot nodded to him. "Now if someone would update us on what's going
on up there, we can proceed accordingly. Sensei, I believe you should begin",
he addressed the shaman.
attention was drawn to a blinding flash of light. Laurence had the gateway
to Utopia opening before their very eyes.
"Don't do it!"
the shaman shouted. Laurence smiled but didn't immediately turn from the
task at hand.
"And why exactly,
should I not... Obake Yamoto?"
"Listen to me!
Do you even know what you're doing?" The sinister smile hadn't left Laurence's
face when he finally faced his audience.
"What kind of
a fool do you take me for, Obake?"
"The legends of
this place say the portal is a mere gateway to a mythic Golden Land but
it's not. The portal is a pathway to the ancient undersea world of Seatopia.
This place has brought death to all who seek it."
laughed maniacally. "Seatopia is the mythical Golden Land. Utopia is the
name given it by the ancient Jewish travelers of a thousand years ago.
I've been aware of this for quite some time, Obake. And I thank whoever
for holding off the great Black Rodan, allowing me to reach such satisfaction
Your days are numbered," Sheriff Jaguar reminded him. Laurence snapped
his fingers and his henchmen popped out their KF-7 Soviet Rifles, all aimed
"Drop your guns
or the spiritualist will get it!" Jet dropped his and nodded to the others
to do likewise.
There's no stopping me, Jet. Utopia's gateway is almost completely open!"
The bright glow
of the inter dimensional portal had also drawn the attention of the Black
Fire Rodan and Minsc was about to reach behind him to grab the Two-Handed
Sword +3 from the sheath on his back. Rado Goji stopped him with a reminder
that Obake would die if any hostility was shown.
"Stand and deliver,
evil!" shouted Minsc. "What is it you are doing here?"
"That is none
of your concern," replied Laurence.
"I will MAKE it
my concern!" Luckily, Rado was able to stop him from doing anything stupid.
Minsc," he warned his partner. "OK, dude," he turned to address Laurence.
"You should stop whatever it is you're doing. Maybe this 'Utopia' whatnot
is really a myth and it's just some stupid ruins."
"Care to try and
stop me?" Laurence snapped his fingers and one of the henchmen pointed
his rifle at Rado who now had his hand around the holstered Z-Saber, ready
to act at a moment's notice.
Unknown to everyone
but Jet Jaguar (due to his sensors), Boo had scurried behind the gun-toting
henchmen, ready to plot his next move. Just then, a roaring noise filled
the area to announce the approach of Ancalagon the Black™, Melkor, Kedzuel
and the Phish (whom they'd picked up on the off chance anyone needed a
spare Anti-Psi Field© or Re-Animating Injection™). Observing the tense
standoff as they moved to flank Laurence's thugs, the mighty demon-dragon
figured if he couldn't weigh into things, a mild distraction was in order
but said roar also happened to attract the Black Rodan.
an ugly mood from its inconclusive battle with the were-Gojis, the ebon
horror decided to vent said mood upon this new flier, swooping in with
an unholy war cackle. Forcing its passengers to cling for their lives,
Ancalagon wheeled to meet the challenge, a sky shredding roar escaping
his fanged jaws as flame built up within.
At the last moment,
both monstrosities balked, sensing a faint but tangible bond. Shifting
their attack patterns to a lazy circle, demoniac pterosaur and Dragon of
Morgoth eyed one another, an uncertain rumble escaping the Black Rodan's
beak. Able to more eloquently vocalize this new factor, Ancalagon spoke.
I believe it's a Guardian.”
“Damn… It makes
sense, considering the ‘Phoenix’ angle. And I guess that'd make you the
Dragon?” mused Melkor.
“And this means…?”
wondered a disheveled Phish.
“It means we'd
better haul ass down there and check out what's up!” asserted Ms. Graham.
”But of course,”
hissed Ancalagon. Folding thousand foot pinions back, the demon-dragon
plummeted toward the fray below, closely tailed by the Black Rodan.
Back at the standoff,
Obake exploited the distraction Ancalagon had caused with panache. Snapping
up his Staff of Eldritch Arse-Whoopery™, the mage spun it before him with
unnatural speed. Laurence's frantic scream of “PLUG HIM!” came too late
and round after round was thrown straight back in his goons’ direction
by the defensive ki field Yamoto-san’s staff generated. Several rounds
struck home in shoulders, calves or bellies, prompting howls of pain as
the afflicted n'er-do-wells collapsed.
In turn, Boo scrabbled
across the rocky terrain, straight into the pant leg of Rado Goji's gunsel.
Teeth capable of dismantling two day old bagels severed the hired muscle's
Achilles tendon, prompting the unfortunate to mimic his (literally) shell-shocked
comrades. The last thing this particular thug glimpsed was a terrible flash
as Rado's Z-Saber descended. Adding to the confusion, a missile streaked
in from an outcropping to Laurence's left, knocking six thugs off their
feet as it blasted a crater in the rock. A white mist erupted, enveloping
a further five thugs whose limbs stiffened and lungs wheezed for air as
the KR-20 PCR (Personal Cadmium Rocket) worked its magic.
the launcher, Col. Gondo dropped back to avoid a poorly aimed burst of
return fire before directing a grim smile at the eager were-Goji trio.
“All yours, guys.”
Jun was off, a
rocket skate boosted leap putting him past the debilitating mist's reach.
Weaving between gunmen with a skill born of years on the streets, the ex-rudie
alternately clothes lined his targets with an outstretched arm, slammed
his elbows into noses and crotches and then snagged a thug with a rapidly
sprouting prehensile tail, tossing the man a good 30 feet as he skidded
about, facing his foes in full Mire-Goji mode (if not height).
wake, Carl “Kongzilla” Englehorn barreled over any gunmen his comrade had
left standing, vicious backhanded blows sending several goons on an unscheduled
With an exultant
bellow, Minsc succumbed to the Berserker's call, unsheathing his 2-Handed
Sword™ and charging to join the hulking primate. The barbaric brawlers
fought side by side, giving their foes no opening to pull back and open
fire. Unfortunately, all this left a good eight gunsels, in addition to
Lazarus himself, free to lend a hand (or clip, as the case may be). Which
is where the Mods© came in.
With an Ultraman-esque
call of ”SHOOWAT!”, Raptor assumed a form befitting her handle, retrieved
her large caliber handgun and drew a Rapier/Broadsword Hybrid™ to complement
a wicked set of talons. Pumping off several shots to keep her perps’ heads
down, the were-Dino™ jumped skyward and was among them in a flash, blade
and killing claws slashing in a blender-esque blitzkrieg of motion. Three
assassins fell, ichor spilling from wounds designed to cripple rather than
Not far behind,
Queen Ghidorah, using the Sheriff's alloyed form for cover against stray
shots, darted into the fray. Reluctant to employ his seizure inducing Strobe
Light Optics™ with so many allies within range, the Sentai-bot opted for
a flurry of hydraulically powered karate blows, busting guns, shoulder
blades and heads with equal efficiency. QG, noting one female were-Goji
caught in a clot of thugs, moved to assist Suki, launching herself into
that fight with the eerie undulating “laugh” characteristic of her kind.
Back in Seatopia:
As the events
topside transpired, Ubergeek noted two things: (1) an approaching phalanx
of Seatopians clad in armor vaguely reminiscent of Spartan Hoptites and
(2) what felt like an oddly high body temperature, even for him.
“Say, is it hot
in here or is it just me?” Taking her first close look at the Geek since
their trip through Mt. Rodan's Dimensional Portal™, Miyako gasped at the
burn scar her counterpart had picked up from the Black Rodan, as well as
a patch of hide on his chest pulsing with a white-hot glow. Even as she
watched, his dorsals crackled with a similar aura. Reading the She-Goji’s
horrified expression, Uber felt his mood drop from bad to worse.
“Hey, what's the
prob-“ The Geek perceived his reflection in the base of a nearby bronzed
sculpture. Cocking his head to peer down at his chest and left side in
succession, the were-Goji further confirmed what he’d seen.
from the brutal rout, Matthew “Lazarus” Laurence snarled at the ancient
form blocking his path.
“Out of my way,
Yamoto!” The shaman's eyes glowed white.
“I think not,
charlatan. Pitting your hired guns against dedicated Guardians, presuming
to disturb the peace of a world best left hidden… It's time you paid the
price for such arrogance.”
“Fine. I’ll break
every bone in your wretched husk and toss what remains on the offal heap
of Hell!” Laurence lunged, right fist crackling with fell power and gouging
out a lump of volcanic rock as his foe deftly sprang above the attack and
spun in midair. Taking a kick full on his right cheek, Lazarus was smashed
aside, sliding a good 50 feet before jack knifing upright again. This time,
both hands pulsed with negative energy, throwing out a massive black blast
which Obake countered with an equally impressive ki bolt. Back and forth
the energies danced, neither combatant willing to back down and risk annihilation
until a tie-breaker arrived in the form of a certain robotic law enforcement
official. Catching JJ's approach in the corner of his left eye, Yamoto-san
threw an arm up before his eyes, barely in time to avoid the Strobe's kaleidoscopic
effect. Laurence reeled with the loss of vision and balance and was off
his feet as an uncontested ki bolt smashed into his chest. Thrown against
the mountain peak, he reeled from the strike's power.
“GIVE IT UP NOW,
‘LAURY.’ YOU'RE DONE!” But the false cleric recalled a final source of
“Far from it,
Jet,” croaked the ambitious Devotee of Hades™. “I've only just begun!”
With a sweep of his arm, Laurence released a final wave of dark power which
washed over several fallen gunmen. Terrible screams tore from their lips
as the unwilling sacrifices were rent limb from limb by the spell, granting
El Diablo Azure™ the freedom to walk the Earth upon his own feet.
An unholy rumble
shook the entire mountain, throwing many a Mod and mercenary off their
feet. The ground in front of Laurence exploded, disgorging his Guest of
”SAVING ME FOR
A TRUMP CARD, LAZARUS? NO MATTER. I'M HAPPY TO OBLIGE---” The Blue Devil
noted the unusually still form of Super Jet Jaguar, staring him down with
luminescent crimson eyes.
”AH, RIGHT… THE
UPSTART. YOU TRULY SEEK A SECOND DEATH TO CHALLENGE ME AGAIN.” A blood-red
aura exploded about the Count, concealing a horrendous transformation and
when it faded, the demon Afiag™ stood in Super JJ's place.
”Bluster all you
wish. Talk won't forestall your doom.”
Roostville Mod/RMB Mercenary Service™/Ogasawara Security team collected
their wits and weaponry and prepared to assist Count Super Jet Jaguar©,
a.k.a. the Demon Huntsman Afiag, in taking on the Blue Devil, said warrior's
most terrible foe.
With a horrendous
cackle, El Diablo Azure™ had upped the ante, summoning forth waves of the
Fiendish Evil Green Fluid™®© to drive his assembled foes down
the mountain or into the air whilst engaging SJJ/Afiag. Thanks to quick
thinking and reflexes by Sheriff Jaguar, Rado Goji and the Dragon Trio
(Melkor, Christine Graham and Ancalagon), not to mention Obake's successful
effort to temporarily divert the FEGF’s flow, the assembled Forces of Good™
his feet, Laurence waved jauntily. “You kids have fun now. See you in Utopia!”
With that, he dove for the Dimensional Portal©.
NOWHERE, PUNK!” Rocketing after him, Jet Jaguar locked powerful arms about
the villain's legs in midair. Unable to brake quickly enough, he guaranteed
them both a one way trip into whatever lay beyond. Laurence entered the
mystic Golden Land of Seatopia, only to be greeted by a monstrous cry from
the other side of the gateway.
A second Black
Fire Rodan came flying out, grabbing a screaming Laurence in its claws.
Upon reaching the summit of Mt. Rodan, it set Laurence free, dropping him
hard on the ground.
"No! You cannot...
Utopia is mine!"
soon stepped through the gateway to their homeland with Emperor Antonio
"Who of you surface
dwellers dare disturb the secret world of Seatopia?" he called out.
"I DO!" Laurence
materialized and grabbed Antonio by surprise, holding a knife to his neck.
"Anyone of you Roostafarians or Utopians move and I'll cut the Emperor's
Two Black Fire
Rodans were soon flying toward each other and fused into a much larger
and more powerful creature; a monster that ancient legends referred to
as the Dark God Rodan. It wheeled about and flew overhead as Laurence held
Antonio as his shield against sudden death.
"Now," he said
calmly. "Myself and the Emperor are going on a little trip and none of
you shall stand in my way." They walked towards the gateway. The riches
of Utopia would soon be his and Laurence would crown himself the new leader
of the undersea world. It had been his heart's greatest desire since his
dear daughter Jessica had betrayed and left him and he found the ancient
Seatopian tablet on the mountain.
entered the gateway to his dream, he offered a thank you to Dr. Phish,
Desutoroia and the others who had helped him find the tablet on their expedition
a few years back.
A hideous cry,
far more ominous than the sounds of the Black Fire Rodan, echoed over the
mountain. It was the fierce and demonic looking Dark God Rodan. Laurence
dropped the knife and let go of Antonio as the mere presence of this Rodan
was too mesmerizing for him to behold. Antonio hit Laurence, knocking him
to the ground. The Dark God Rodan came flying right at them.
cried out as the great beast entered the Utopian gateway. Its mystical
magic caused the portal to begin closing, permanently.
"My legions. Returneth
now to Seatopia!" Antonio commanded. The Emperor and his troops hastened
through. Laurence was left outside, surrounded by Mods and were-Gojis.
"This be where
it ends, Reverend Lazarus," the Sheriff declared.
Just then, a helicopter
appeared over the rim of the mountain. Laurence ran toward it and ducked
out of sight before reappearing and grabbing onto a ladder that had been
lowered. He was pulled up as it made its escape.
"Lazarus is getting
away!" everyone groaned.
"Not if I can
help it!" From Jet Jaguar's robotic arms sprouted twin rocket launchers.
"I don't plan on losing this one, even if it means killing him. He's caused
enough trouble already so we can't have him startin' any more." Jet fired
off two homing missiles which exploded on impact with the fleeing helicopter.
The Sheriff, Raptor,
Ubergeek and the others soon reached the crash site where the remains of
the chopper had fallen and found some charred bodies. Jet's sensors indicated
Laurence was amongst the dead now. As he and Raptor were retrieving what
IDs and other immediate items they could, the rest of the Ogasawara contingent
and the RMB Mercenary Service joined them.
Ubergeek was relieved
when the Seatopians had hurried on their way, leaving him to consider his
own predicament. The area on his chest continued to expand, increasing
in both size and depth. The were-Goji's dorsal array soon became a blinding
streak from his head to the base of his tail. Miyako watched in fascination
as the glowing white aura quickly enveloped her consort.
Within the glare,
Uber could feel his very molecules rearrange themselves as an ethereal
voice, oddly reassuring, seemed to emanate from all around him.
"Do not be afraid,
Spawn of Kenny. The Guardians simply require your assistance."
Never had the
Geekspawn experienced such an overwhelming sense of power and doubted his
worthiness to even be in its presence.
"Do not despair,
for we shall assist you," the voice continued. "In turn, you will be doing
a great service to both humanity and planes unknown. There has been a disturbance
in the balance that must be rectified by the Guardians. The Dragon and
the Phoenix are at hand but the Tortoise must see to another problem in
the far reaches of space. The Black Fire Rodan sensed your atomic energy
acquired from the Earth's elements themselves and opened a channel to that
mana with its Atomic Pulse. You will need its power for the battle ahead."
The voice faded and the blinding aura subsided, revealing a Gamera derivative
in the were-Goji's place. The prominent dorsal spines had flattened against
his back into a shell-like carapace, hinged at various points for flexibility.
A sectioned plastron covered his chest and abdomen and at its center, the
initial glow was the last of the eldritch light to fade.
whispered, shaking his head to regain his bearings.
"Yeah, I'll say!"
Miyako heartily agreed. Offhand, things were getting profoundly interesting,
even by such standards as the Geekspawn's.
X-Factors™ had emerged. First, the advent of a second Black Rodan®,
which melded with the first Ebon Demoniac Pterosaur™, creating a still
more powerful Guardian beastie one observer had dubbed a Dark God Rodan.
It had quickly and efficiently barred Matthew “Lazarus” Laurence from the
kingdom of Seatopia. As of yet, nobody had recovered sufficiently to criticize
the name. This monstrosity, neglecting the Blue Devil Situation©,
had instead opted to seal off Seatopia's only known link to the outside
world, defusing that situation for the moment.
Blue Devil and
Count SJJ's second battle had been halted by still more Uneasy Volcanic
Activity™, culminating with an eruption of superheated magma from within
Mt. Rodan's crater. Wherever this molten rock came in contact with the
FEGF®, it instantly withered away, as if some supernatural force negated
its fell taint.
phenomenon with relief, Raptor and Yamoto-san also sensed the opening of
that ‘door’ the were-dino had sensed earlier and in the shaman's case,
two familiar psyches approaching.
A voice, strangely
imbued with nervous energy, addressed Obake's questing mind: Hope you weren't
missing us, sensei… Be with you in just a second.
And with that,
Mt. Rodan disgorged a massive ovoid form which hovered upon white hot plasma
jets as it touched down at the volcano's base. Opening a clawed fist, the
mana mutated Ubergeek bent down to carefully release his mate who elected
to gracefully jump the last 20 feet or so. Both were-Kaiju sized up the
tableau, Uber doing so with a deep growl as freshly enhanced primal senses
detected the all too familiar reek of Eee-Vil™. Having reverted to human
form preceding their return trip from Seatopia, Miyako fixed an exasperated
stare upon the Gamera Geek.
“You will explain
all this later.” It wasn't a question.
“Of course, milady.
With footnotes. Ah, and thanks for having my back.”
“Now then… BLUE
BOY...” The Geekspawn addressed El Diablo Azure, who'd performed an almost
comical double take as he sized the Gam-Geek up. “I'm in no mood for your
brand of $#!t. Get gone or get char broiled.”
Melkor. “That's the first halfway decent threat I've heard from him in
a while.” Sizing up this apparent new Guardian, Ancalagon froze.
“Wait… Do you
mean to imply that… THING is the misbegotten GEEK?!”
fangs, the demon-dragon scowled. “Truly the Valar seek to hound me from
beyond, allying such as myself with HIS ilk.”
of taking the opportunity to flee, Blue Devil had rocketed straight for
the Colossal Chelonian™, a black aura building up about him.
“Char broil, then.”
And with nary a warning, the Geekspawn's tusked jaws snapped open, disgorging
a white-hot plasma fireball. Expanding as it fed off the surrounding atmosphere,
this lethal projectile smashed full into El Diablo Azure, obliterating
his dark aura with a horrendous explosion and throwing the fiend, flesh
afire, back as quickly as he’d closed in. Three more fireballs, pumped
out with incredible speed and precision, further pulverized Blue Devil.
Unable to take
any more, the Hell Lord vanished, a howl of “I’LL BE BACK!” reaching his
assembled foes’ ears.
With the battlefield
cleared and the Dark God Rodan™ apparently at rest, an exhausted crew of
Unlikely Heroes™ reconvened, Ancalagon maintaining a thermic staring contest
At a prompting
from his consort, Uber attempted to regain human form and succeeded, more
or less. His hands remained green-gray and wickedly taloned up to the elbows
which sported a lethal pair of opposite swept spurs, the fore-pointing
ones longest. His eyes radiated a steady amber glow and a pair of elongated
lower incisors made speech somewhat difficult at first.
observed Goji Son before accepting Raptor's guidance to the waiting All-Terrain
Squad Buggy™. He and the other Todd McFarlane Cult members, with the Blue
Devil now drawn from their bodies, decided to leave Hellspawn's little
cult and go back to living their lives before he tricked them into becoming
Suki Ryota had
hoisted a video camera to document their efforts at Col. Gondo's urging,
should any questions of continued funding of his little Special Operations
Branch come up. Well versed in governmental thought processes, he made
sure she got every little detail of the location and participants involved.
Ancalagon the Black even touched down to get his share of publicity and
confer with Obake, Melkor and Ubergeek. The Dark Lord assured him he and
Ms. Graham could catch a ride back to Roostville with the other locals
before the dragon made a particularly impressive departure for the viewing
Jet Jaguar dubbed
a copy of the tape on his cruiser's fore and aft deck for his personal
library and by the time they got back to Roostville, Raptor had formatted
a Special Report for broadcast as soon as they ran it through the editor
at the Roostville Cable & Telephone studio and Jet did the voice-over.
"So what if you
end up interrupting ROOSTVILLE: THE SOAP OPERA," she informed the sheriff,
who had every reason in the world to get a little recognition. "You are
And indeed he
(and of course, what had occurred at Mt. Rodan) were. With a quickly arranged
simulcast on KIJU 108 Radio, all of Roostville would soon have something
to cheer about.
But during the
confusion with the Blue Devil, Laurence had made his escape, hopping aboard
a beefed-up UH-60 his disciples kept in reserve. He had made the switch
with his now deceased double c/o a handy incantation. Of course, he had
neglected to elaborate on just what would happen to the dupe.
Mt. Rodan wasn't exactly peaceful as Laurence looked at the the fallen
"I knew having
a body double take my place was a good idea," he said to himself. "But
now with the gateway to Utopia destroyed, there's only one other way to
make my dreams become reality."
6: The LEVIATHAN