At the Ogasawara
Daikaiju Preserve, Miyako Aso was manning the station control room when
the Anomaly Indicator beeped, having detected a disturbance in the fabric
of reality near the town of Roostville.
"I wonder what
the local loony tunes are up to now..." she snorted in irritation. Ever
since they made that ROBBERY
IN ROOSTVILLE movie, the place seemed to attract some mighty strange
characters (as if its citizens weren't weird enough to begin with!)
The firing of
THE IGNORE CANNON by Gamingboy had caused a MAJOR blip on the Indicator
and since then, its print out looked like a seismograph of the New Madrid
Fault. Hellspawn had also escaped from prison and nearly brought on The-End-of-the-World-As-We-Know-It
but had been sent to the Alternate Dimension (also known as the Evil Realm).
The world had once again been saved from the Apocalypse but something just
wasn't right. Even if the parts of the city that had been destroyed were
now repaired (other than the Godzilla Tower being replaced) and everything
LOOKED 'normal', *something* was just below the surface of everyone's consciousness,
hadn't been his usual cheerful, carefree self the last time she had come
to Roostville for a three day weekend with her fellow were-Goji. Mayor
Gamingboy had summoned Raptor and the Geekspawn to his headquarters (see
HISTORY: From the Text Books) for a secret meeting because of the unease
in the town. Raptor was spending more time at the Mod Station and taking
her deputy sheriff post seriously, not so much keeping Roosters who had
a little too much fire water at the town's many taverns out of trouble
but patrolling in random patterns and at odd hours. When ROOSTVILLE:
THE SOAP OPERA (Season 3) suddenly went off the air at the start of
the season premiere, there wasn't the expected riot and destruction of
the Roostville Cable & Telephone facilities. Everyone simply switched
to another channel or turned off their TVs completely.
Count Super Jet
Jaguar, one of the most eccentric citizens (to put it mildly) was keeping
a lower profile since no one would listen to his wild claims that 'something'
was up and the end of the world was at hand. Sheriff Varan and Melkor were
often seen together, as if waiting for something to happen and watching
the various townsfolk every chance they got. Saruman, in his capacity as
Judge, had sequestered himself to review the ROOSTVILLE VS. GAMZILLA first
degree felony murder case.
to the present, Miyako thought about the Geek's email from that morning:
'Going to Rodanville. Later, Toots.' Rodanville was nothing more than an
old, abandoned mining town at the base of Mt. Rodan that had at one time
promised various ores but each new vein that was assayed petered out. It
just wasn't profitable to mine anything on a large scale. The many test
holes had been boarded up, one after the other and all but a few hard scrabble
prospectors remained. A group of cave explorers had gone down into one
of the shafts and discovered a deep lake. There was also an ancient tablet
nearby that they turned over to Dr. Phish but true to form, he never got
around to analyzing it, preferring to work on his own projects. Maybe she
would check the place out herself on her next day off but for now, she
had better call Roostville and find out what was going on over there.
OFFICER DOWN! OH, GOD, HELP US!" the deputy screamed over the radio. Raptor
had been running code to a "shots fired" call at one of Roostville's many
playgrounds where a woman and child had been killed. Witnesses reported
it was Sheriff Varan who had fired the fatal round and fled the scene.
A BOLO went out and all deputies were called to duty with "10-33" (emergency)
added to the order. As she tried to get through the traffic jam of vehicles
and people now surrounding the scene, shots echoed down from the direction
of Hedorah Hills, soon followed by reports of a disturbance at the Sheriff's
house. Raptor quickly backed up, shoving a tailgater onto the sidewalk.
Clear of the traffic (which was mostly heading in the opposite direction),
she headed toward the northern residential area as radio traffic got more
and more chaotic with everyone requesting updates and locations to the
point where half of the transmissions were getting walked on.
Raptor yelled over the racket of her siren after upping the volume on her
dash mount a couple notches. She hoped Jet Jaguar's "upgrade" would have
the desired effect and blast the chatterboxes into silence. "Ernie, what's
your situation?" she calmly asked the panicked deputy. He managed to settle
down and between sobs, advise that Cam Eleon had been hit. "How bad?"
"I don't know!
There's blood everywhere!" She quickly realized he was losing it again
and called for an ambulance.
Arriving on the
scene, the guests from Lord Jimi's party were silently standing in a circle
in the middle of the street. Parting to make way, she saw the sheriff laying
in a pool of blood, his guns by his side. The A-9 and its triple burst
had made a mess of his head.
"Anyone see what
happened here?" see asked the assembly.
"I think he blew
his brains out," a very tipsy middle echelon Rooster offered. Raptor made
a note of who all was present and noticed Lord Jimi was missing.
"Anyone seen Jimi?"
No one had, other than at his house before all the shooting started. She
opened the channel and put out an all points bulletin for the missing host
and requested the coroner be notified. This was going to be a real mess,
she figured. When the shift commander finally had everything pretty much
under control, she got in her truck to personally give the Mayor and Dark
Lords the bad news.
got to the first Dark Lord's house to deliver the news of Sheriff Varan's
death, Deputy Friar came on the radio with "Go secure", requesting everyone
get on the channel which the 40% of Roostville who had scanners wouldn't
be able to understand. When they had switched over to the scrambled frequency,
he reported there was another body at the Sheriff's house. Due to the nature
of the situation, the officer had carefully, yet methodically approached
the big dark Tudor, looking for anything that might possibly be related
to its owner's death. When Freddy found the front door standing open, he
immediately knew something was wrong and his heart rate kicked up a notch
in anticipation of the unknown. He flicked on his flashlight, adding an
even more eerie cast to the place when he entered the foyer and proceeded
to check the various rooms.
Raptor had stayed
outside to check the perimeter and noticed the bullet holes in the window
to the den Varan favored. The huge bay window overlooked the town below.
Raising her flashlight, Raptor saw a form laying on the floor. She continued
working outwards from the house and saw what looked like footprints in
the flower bed and disturbed shrubbery bordering the narrow stand of trees
that screened the property from the curve of the road. It had gotten too
dark for a proper search without floodlights but it was evident someone
had passed through the area. When she returned to the house, the lights
were on in the den, revealing the body of Sheriff Manda on the floor with
two large caliber bullet wounds in her chest. A chair beside her was overturned
and the two holes in the window indicated she had been shot from outside
The lawmen stood
quietly and looked at each other as little as possible, each with his or
her own private thoughts racing through their minds. In just over an hour's
time, some of their fellow officers had experienced more death up close
than they would expect in their entire careers. Despite the fact they so
often are racing toward danger, they very seldom fear for their mortality
as much as when an officer lies dead before them. First it was Sheriff
Varan and now Manda.
"I guess I better
call the coroner over here and notify Megalon Town," Raptor figured. With
the crime scene secured and forensics underway, she knew what would keep
and what wouldn't. Gamingboy, Melkor, Morgoth and Sauron hadn't answered
their pages when Tosha called them, as was the protocol when something
REALLY BIG happened in town. Bato-Goji, Goji Son, Gorgozilla, Saruman,
Sauron, Cam Eleon, Enshohma, Sandworm Phish and the Sheriff hadn't
been at Mrs. Desu's party the night before and Melkor got a call and left
early. Ubergeek, usually the biggest party animal at any soiree, was unusually
reserved and said he "had a big day" ahead of him. Of the 14 city officials
that protocol pretty much called for to be in attendance for the hostess'
sake, only four were present. Cam, Baragon, Enshohma and Phish had probably
forgotten, being wrapped up in their work the way they were. Varan never
had been much for parties but he and the Princess were such good friends.
Things just weren't adding up, Raptor figured, especially with Lord Jimi
still missing. Not finding Sauron, Morgoth or Saruman home and nobody having
any idea where they might be, she was in no mood for rounding up Kobayashi
to fly out to Melkor's estate.
rudely awakened from the depths of his Sominex induced sleep by Raptor's
pounding on his fortress' intercom.
"Get your clothes
on and open this gate if you want a town to be mayor of!"
"oh oh..." the
Gamer squeaked, now wide awake and almost functional. The mansion's defenses
parted one after the other and reclosed as Raptor made her way to the main
house. Gamingboy was pulling a raggedy sweatshirt over his pajama top and
running down the stairs in his bare feet as she came in the door. Hooking
an index finger, she directed him to follow her into the kitchen, knowing
he would need a Dew to get fully up to speed for what she had to tell him.
When he had consumed half the can of sugary caffeine and set himself down
in the chair opposite, the first thing she did was ascertain his whereabouts
after leaving Mrs. Desu's party on Friday night. A blank look came over
his face. "No plot holes here," she glared at him. "Do you realize what
has happened today?"
"No. I just had
an early dinner, played a few video games and went to bed early."
"OK, you better
brace yourself," she took a deep breath before relating Sheriff Varan's
attack at the playground. "A mother and her child were killed by the single
shot he fired. Our next call was multiple shots fired up in Hedorah Hills.
When our guys got there, Varan was standing in the road with his guns drawn.
Cam was shot when he tried to talk him out of doing anything crazy. Luckily,
it was just a single round but he got it right in the side of the neck
over his vest and lost a lot of blood. He'll be OK, thank goodness. Then
Varan raised his other gun, on AUTO and fired a three round burst into
his own head." She watched the Mayor as she spoke to make sure he was comprehending
what she was saying. Judging by the stunned look on his face, he was so
Friar went to Varan's house, he discovered the body of Sheriff Manda from
Megalon Town, which is on the other side of the mountains. She and Varan
had been close friends from way back but after Desu's murder, they didn't
see each other near as frequently as before. She was found in Varan's den
and there were two rounds fired through the window which appear to be the
cause of her death. We have reason to believe they did not come from Varan's
weapons. The house is still a crime scene and come daylight, further investigation
will continue. You do realize there will be TWO coroner's inquests since
law enforcement officers were the victims?"
"Ah, no, I didn't,"
Raptor figured. Now she would make a proposal normally not appropriate
but they were pretty much sitting on a powder keg anyway. "We need a few
days for the town to get over the trauma of Varan's suicide and the death
of two innocent people. There is nothing we can do to make that any less
horrible as so many witnessed it. I am hoping you can at least keep Sheriff
Manda's murder out of the media as long as possible. The autopsy itself
will take at least a few days and the deputies that responded spoke with
the hospital staff to keep things quiet. Luckily, most of the town was
up in Hedorah Hills when she was brought in and there's no need for lights
and sirens on runs like these..." Raptor didn't know how many people were
aware of it but an ambulance on its way to the morgue was more like a hearse
heading for the cemetery; no emergency measures known to man would bring
the deceased back to life. She herself hated funerals, which were too often
intended for the living more than the dead. Now, there would be four in
a very short time.
"I guess that
will be no problem here," Gamingboy replied. "But what about Megalon Town?"
"They have been
notified and asked to keep it quiet also. I realize we don't have much
contact with areas on the other side but their Mayor mentioned that his
town just 'isn't itself' either lately. When the body is released, I'm
afraid all the officers will want to attend her services." Raptor eyed
the Mayor as it wasn't a request so much as a statement: they would separately
leave town and form a column out on the highway. Black bands would also
be appearing on badges as soon as an officer had a chance to find some
ribbon or electrical tape. Around town, everyone would think it was in
memory of Sheriff Varan.
"Might as well
make sure the city flags are at half staff in the morning also."
"Yeah." The Mayor
of Roostville was looking down at his hands clasped in front of him and
Raptor wondered what he was thinking so she asked.
"I guess I'm just
now realizing how many different responsibilities this office I wanted
so badly for all the wrong reasons has. And even worse, there are some
I can't delegate." Raptor had a pretty good idea how he was feeling as
she also felt rather confused and even helpless lately, despite trying
to think things out in some kind of logical order. She just didn't know
whether to focus on the "big picture" or see if she might be missing something
so obvious they would all end up getting snake bit before they knew what
"Speaking of delegating,
you have any idea where Bato, Goji Son, Gorgozilla, Saruman, Sauron, Enshohma,
Phish, Melkor, Jet Jaguar, the Count, Lord Jimi and Ubergeek might be?
And why didn't you answer your page?" she inquired as if merely asking
what time it was. She made a point not to mention that a BOLO was out for
"My pager?" GB
seemed genuinely confused for a second. "Oh, yeah. I took out the battery
to check out an old handheld game I hadn't used in ages."
"Uh huh." Raptor
grinned at the sheepish look on his face. "Remember that little meeting
we had, just you, me, the Geekspawn and that other guy?"
IS going on in Roostville and it ain't good," she assured him. "As far
as I'm concerned, WHATEVER it is has gone on way too long and the sooner
it stops and things get back to 'normal' (whatever that is around here),
the better. In a matter of hours, this town has had more negative vibes
than a rant thread contest at Maser City!" Gamingboy didn't like where
this was going because it was the same thing that got him in office: Mayor
Werner being blamed for everything.
"So what should
I do about it?" It wasn't a challenge so much as a plea.
"That's what I
want to know also. The worst part is not being able to get in touch with
so many people all of a sudden. What has made Roostville 'work' in the
past, despite differences of opinion or agendas or whatever, this town
has stuck together. Now, it's like every Rooster is on their own little
trips to the Twilight Zone or something."
all the Mayor could think of to say but it said a lot. Raptor did wish
he had mentioned the name of that other person who was in attendance because
she could not place it no matter how hard she tried.
to stop by Desu Mansion. He knocked on the door and Mrs. Khandejifer answered,
surprised at his visit.
"Hello," she greeted
him with a wane smile. Melkor had been one of the few people besides Sheriff
Varan who had been nice and kind enough to help her through the hard times
after the Blood Mass.
"Hi. I was in
the neighborhood and I thought I'd stop by and uh... Would you like to
have dinner with me?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"That would be nice."
And so the two
went to the most expensive restaurant in town. It was the same one Desutoroia
had always taken her to. As the waitress took their orders, Melkor overheard
someone at another table discussing and joking about Sheriff Varan. And
some killing. He walked over and asked why they were talking so rudely
about the Sheriff. He then learned of Varan's suicide. Melkor was overcome
with a sick sensation and sat back down at his table with Princess.
he... I just found out that... he shot himself..."
"Oh, I'm so sorry
for you..." she tried to comfort Melkor.
Sunday, Oct. 5
selling like crazy with the death of Sheriff Varan on the front page. He
had committed suicide on Saturday, October 4, 2014 at around 5:30 - 6:00
PM. According to the Mod Squad, he had been under severe stress. One of
his co-workers claimed that the murder of Desutoroia and the following
world threatening plague of Hellspawn was the cause. The Sheriff finally
snapped and murdered a child and its mother, then killing himself in the
At least Sunday
brought Raptor better prospects than the day before had left her with.
Casts had been made of footprints found around Varan's house, as well as
a trail of cartridges from his guns had been discovered in the surrounding
"Who or what was
he shooting at?" she wondered. There had been no sightings of Lord Jimi
so she had no choice but to call in Jet Jaguar. Usually up on all the doings
about town, he had been in Tokyo for the past couple of days and just returned
to Roostville a few hours prior to her signal. She advised she would like
to get with him later and that was agreeable. Checking with the dispatcher,
Bato, Goji Son, Saruman, Sauron, Enshohma and Phish still hadn't checked
in but Morgoth had, much to the surprise of everyone. When Raptor inquired
about his demeanor, Tosha advised that he seemed to be his usual self;
even downright calm when she told him what Roostville had been through
the day before. As for the Count and Ubergeek (especially the latter),
at least his consort at Ogasawara was able to tell them he had sent her
a message about going to Rodanville but now SHE was concerned about him.
"I say give him
another 24 hours," Gamingboy suggested when Raptor called him. "You know
how he likes to go off chasing Conspiracies™ and such." Raptor agreed and
figured the were-Goji could pretty well take care of himself in about any
situation. As for Gorgozilla, he sheepishly admitted losing his beeper
several weeks ago but had got the bad news in the Sunday paper.
As Raptor got
off the phone, Melkor paged out a Mod meeting, requesting everyone be at
the Mod Station in half an hour.
It was a strange
assembly indeed that filed into the Muster Room. Why they didn't just use
the council chambers in City Hall, she had no idea. The station just didn't
seem "right" after what had happened and Melkor himself was particularly
ill at ease. Since he called the meeting, Melkor opened it by simply saying
everyone would miss Sheriff Varan and turned the floor over to Gamingboy.
Apparently, the current Mayor had brushed up on his protocol and announced
a memorial service for Varan would be held in Toho Park at noon the next
day. In addition, Roostville flags would fly at half staff for the rest
of the month.
"I'd also like
to remind all of you to help the regular deputies out by doing patrols
whenever you can. The investigation appears to be a little bit more 'involved'
than it first appeared and they would appreciate some extra eyes about
voiced his agreement. "Varan was a good citizen and did Roostville proud,"
the Dark Lord intoned. "Let's remember him as the upstanding fellow he
was." Everyone agreed and there being nothing else to discuss, they would
get together at Toho Park the next day. Everyone except Morgoth nearly
bolted for the door and didn't even bother to see if there were any donuts
or other goodies left about. Raptor headed for Dispatch and realized Melkor
had also turned the corner, running to catch up with her.
"Can I talk to
you a moment?" he asked expectantly. It was then she noticed just how distraught
"There are some
things I think you should know about. Let's use the Sheriff's office."
Raptor was taken aback by the strange request but Melkor seemed nervous
as a cat just standing in the hallway. When they were inside the rustic
wood paneled office, he let out a great sigh and eased into one of the
big leather captain's chairs in front of the desk.
"Maybe you better
sit down also."
had actually just been a bad mood. Count Super Jet Jaguar returned to the
mountain and brought him to Rodanville but the zombie people were nowhere
to be seen. The place looked like a ghost town as everyone was down at
the tavern. An old man was walking along the road, most likely on his way
there also when SJJ and the Geek stopped to ask a few questions.
"Do you know anything
about Green Ooze?" Ubergeek asked.
"Green Ooze, eh
sonny? The green stuff up on Mt. Rodan?"
"Yes. That's the
stuff!" SJJ said. The expression on the old man's face was that of fear.
"Oh, no... No
one goes there... it's hunted by ghosts. And guarded by a monster..."
asked Ubergeek with full confidence that this was just a local superstition.
"Legends say that
up on that mountain, somewhere within one of its many labyrinths lays the
Black Fire Rodan..."
"BLACK FIRE RODAN?
WHAT THE..?" SJJ exclaimed.
The old man quickly
ran off, yelling, "Leave me alone!"
"I suppose we
should go back up there," Uber figured. "If there really is a Black Fire
Rodan, I'd like to know more about it." Without hesitation, they headed
back to Mt. Rodan to further investigate the Green Ooze and the possible
existence of the Black Fire Rodan.
At Desu Mansion,
a man stands in the hallway, soon to become another victim.
"So. You're sure
we're not going to be interrupted?"
"Oh, quite sure,"
Mrs. Khandejifer replies. "I like to be careful..." The man is taken upstairs.
As they enter the room, he is knocked unconscious and thrown back against
the wall. Desutoroia is upon him and places his hands on the victim's head,
draining the body of its energies.
Princess had left
the room, not wishing to witness what was going on. A short while later,
she returned to see Desutoroia standing in the shadows with the victim's
body lying in the middle of the floor. She had brought him some clothes
to wear and a pack of cigarettes. He now sat in a chair, dressed and smoking
with evident satisfaction.
"I can taste that!
It's been a long time since I tasted anything." Mrs. Khandejifer watched
him with fascination and disgust in equal measure.
me an explanation." Desutoroia lifts a puzzle box which he has in his hand.
It had been sitting on the floor, unnoticed by Princess.
"This is what
started it all." She reaches for it. "Don't touch it. It's dangerous. It
opens doors." His wife stares at him, confused.
"What kind of
pain and pleasure beyond the limits. Pleasure from Heaven or Hell." Desutoroia
explained that one night when she was on a business trip to Maser City,
an unexpected visitor came knocking at the door. He was surprised to see
GAMZILLA pointing a gun at him as he was expecting his friend, Hellspawn.
GAMZILLA took him to the room upstairs. Desutoroia wasn't an idiot and
knew what the box was: the Lament Configuration, a pathway to Hell. GAMZILLA
forced him to solve it by threatening the life of his wife if he didn't.
Desutoroia unleashed the demons, the Cenobites, from within the box, opening
a doorway across the schisms.
gave me an experience beyond limits. Pain and pleasure, indivisible." He
explained how they literally tore his soul apart. "They took my soul but
my body stayed behind. A tiny part of my spirit did as well. In the boards...
and in the walls here, allowing me to watch the world from Hell but unable
to touch it. Later, they acquired my body from the morgue."
"The blood brought
"It gave me a
chance to have my life back so I took it..." The two came close and Princess
kissed the bloody, skinless monstrous creature that was once the kind man
she loved. "Nothing shall ever keep us apart again," Desu began. "Never
On Mt. Rodan,
the fog was starting to get really thick and it was becoming hard to see.
Ubergeek looked up and could barely make out a light.
"So what do you
think that is?" he asked.
SJJ explained. As they went further up the mountain, the light was getting
closer and strange noises could be heard, coming from all around them.
SJJ urged him on. "If anything pops up, I'll kill it." The noises were
getting clearer; sounds of tortured and dying people. Ubergeek had unknowingly
passed in front of a small cave entrance. As the noises were getting closer,
he got pulled into the cave.
"Hold on!" SJJ
yelled as he jumped in after him. They were in sight of a small shrine
and saw a little midget elf creature. The elf closed up the entrance.
"It is dangerous
to travel on this mountain at night," he said.
"What was that
out there? And who are you?" SJJ asked.
"What was out
there? I have no clue as to what it was or is exactly. They only come out
in fog like this so you really can't make out any shapes. As for who I
am, my name is Garland... and I am an Elf."
"Why did you drag
us in here?"
"Why else? To
keep you travelers safe from whatever is out there. By morning, they'll
all be gone. Now may I ask, why are you up here on Mt. Rodan?"
The Count gave
his answer. "I sensed an evil presence on this mountain. We came and found
it... a green ooze form of evil energy."
"So why haven't
began, "we heard about the Legend of the Black Fire Rodan. We wanted to
know if it was true.."
"The Black Fire
Rodan, eh?" Garland paused for a moment.
"Do you know anything
of it?" Uber asked.
Only of its great power... which if it were ever to fall in the wrong hands
could devastate the world."
that Hellspawn's dead, eh, Count?" Ubergeek grinned. Garland looked at
"No one," Ubergeek
"Someone who was
very evil and threatened the existence of all living creatures here on
Earth," SJJ explained.
At the Mod Station,
Raptor was preparing to go home when she saw a shadowy figure in Varan's
office. She approached cautiously but found no one there. For some
reason, she decided to go over to Varan's desk and opened a drawer. There
was a folded letter. Raptor grabbed it and noted it had been written by
the late Sheriff. She was horrified by what she read. The impact of Hellspawn's
Blood Mass and Desu's murder had effected him far worse than anyone would
have believed possible.
"Oh my God!" she
whispered. Raptor then left the office, taking the letter with her. A man
who had been hiding in the closet walked out of the office, smiling and
unseen by anyone.
Melkor had hit
the road after discussing some important issues with Raptor involving GAMZILLA's
trial. He was driving up Desu Hill when suddenly, he went blind as the
form of Hellspawn appeared before him. But he was different. His appearance
was more sadistic and twisted and he was covered in blood. Hellspawn reached
out and grabbed him.
"I shall not be
denied my destiny," he said. "Not even the likes of you can stand in the
way of my... DESTINY!" Melkor awoke. He was alive and his car was stuck
in a ditch. He had little time to stop Hellspawn from whatever devious
plot he was concocting. He entered into a dreary state and fell asleep,
transcending the mortal planes and connecting with the heathen, godless
void. There he encountered beings as old as time, the same nameless things
which coursed through the Book and through him and to every other of his
kind. Finally, he came to a long, winding tunnel, stretching endlessly
to eternity. It wound about in circles, going on forever with neither beginning
Somewhere in the
midst, Melkor stopped and observed a crowd of ten thousand faceless men,
all bowing and praying to an unseen thing. It seemed to drive him crazy
by the minute and would have done so were it not for the timely intervention
of a loud noise which jolted him back to reality.
The trip was undoubtedly real. His forehead had been resting on the steering
wheel for the last hour or so. He got the car out of the ditch and made
for the black mountain itself. There, he could hopefully replenish his
strength and awaken the black god of vengeance, the only creature that
could thwart Hellspawn now. To beat the devil, be a devil yourself. He
stole away in the night and made for Bald Mountain where the horned demon,
Bald Mountain, 3:49 AM:
After a nail-shredding,
strength-sapping climb to the rim of Bald Mountain, Melkor stared into
its fell depths, silent and black at the moment. Breath steaming before
his eyes in harsh rasps, the young warrior mage was winded and quite shell
shocked by a blast of white-hot light four feet to his left. Melkor nearly
jumped out of his skin (and into the gaping crater), accompanied by a hearty
string of oaths fit to shame the most debauched of incubi.
The light's reaction:
“Sorry, Mel! Didn't think anyone else would be up here!”
voice, he blinked. “Kedz?!” Indeed, the Transportation Portal Thingy®’s
light vanished, revealing the form of Christine Graham.
“None other, o
scion of Caesar. So, mind telling me why (1) you felt the need to visit
this photogenic little landmark and (2) you didn't bother with, say, some
form of useful transportation? I recall you making a big deal about some
Heli-whatsit a week ago…” Now on familiar ground, Melkor assumed a lofty,
slightly bored air, not all that effective in pitch-blackness, but what
"First off, it's
a Helicarrier. Second, I felt the need for a little stealth. Not to be
condescending but you might want to look the concept up-"
Ms. Graham scowled.
"Well, excuse me for giving away our location to whoever or whatever’s
crazy enough to stalk someone like you. Speaking of which-"
“I was just getting
to that, thanks,” growled Melkor. "I'm out for a late cruise when all of
a sudden, I just ‘doze off.’ Not the heavily lubricated kind, mind you.
This little nap involved a visit from our old pal, Hellspawn. You might've
heard of him - former Mayor candidate? Director of that Terrorist Army©
which sorta leveled Monsterzeroville? Became some sort of revoltingly powerful
Omega Demon Thing, forcing yours truly to trap him in an alternate dimension?
Anyway, he just mentioned something about how he’d be back to fulfill his
Destiny, which surely isn't anything to worry about-"
“I get the point,
Mel,” gritted Kedzuel. “So you traipsed up here seeking some means of stopping
Spawny, should he return?”
about me. Why in blazes are you out here?”
fairly interesting. You remember that incident with the Museum artifact
“Sure. Truth be
told, I had my own plans for the big guy. That Smith punk just beat me
to the punch.”
“Well, as Mistress
of the Dragon Dimensions®, I'm supposed to be maintaining a gateway
between their reality and ours, which is why every other amateur Rooster
can just call one up when the sitch demands. This arrangement also allows
me to switch places with a given dragon if necessary, like when Malystryx
knocked some sense into Anc. Once things calmed down, I did have to wait
for Mal to return, which is a teensy downside…”
”Skipping to the
point, I've been on probation with my Lady since that… ehem… unpleasantness
at the Coliseum.” A horrendous booming hiss announced the arrival of Ancalagon
who'd somehow managed to cruise up unheard whilst Kedzuel elaborated. Fairly
impressive, considering his 500-foot stature. Pumping thousand-foot wings
with a horrendous blast of air, the black dragon touched down fifty feet
below Bald Mountain's rim, then leaned in to finish his piece.
”I was hoping
to cross over and talk a bit of sense into her and Kedzuel here was generous
enough to save me the energy expenditure for a dimension hop.”
“Well, that pretty
much explains things, and good luck to ya, Anc,” responded an exasperated
Melkor. "But if you two don't mind, I've got a Higher Demon™ to wake up-"
The Junior Dark
Lord© took in the nigh-identical stupefied stares of web mistress
and demon dragon alike. Already preparing to turn around and start the
Summoning Ritual©, he completed said turn and was faced with a pair
of malefic white eyes, roughly the width of a department store apiece,
illuminating a fearsome visage as great curved horns swept inward above
a furrowed brow and immense fanged frown.
”NO NEED FOR ANY
WAKING, KNAVE. WHAT BUSINESS HAVE YOU TO ROUSE CHERNOBOG FROM HIS REST?”
"And that's basically the story, milord.
Might I enlist your help to ensure this fiend never again threatens the
balance of good and evil or interferes with your own amusements, whichever
comes first?" Melkor, having reached this finish, sank to his knees, humbled
before the dread fiend's terrible glory. For a half minute that stretched
into eternity, Chernobog considered this request.
"HRMMM….I WOULD ANSWER YOUR CALL, FAITHFUL
ONE, BUT DUTY CALLS ELSEWHERE. MY LEGIONS HAVE YET TO MASTER THE LAMBADA™
AND AS THEIR GRAND ORCHESTRATOR, I MUST SEE TO THE HONING OF THEIR SKILLS."
Crestfallen, Melkor rose to his feet.
“I understand, milord. My apologies for wasting your time. What must I
sacrifice as recompense?”
"Excuse my interruption, Lord Chernobog,”
interjected Ms. Graham. “But if you seek to educate your hordes in synchronized
dance, there's a certain arcane instrument I can offer…"
Fast Forward Another Half
to the recently rebuilt Best Buy™ bore fruit. Actually beaming down at
the sight of several thousand low-level daemons gyrating atop their new
Dance Revolution© arcade consoles, Chernobog turned to address Kedzuel,
Melkor and a nonplused Ancalagon.
”I HAVE RECONSIDERED
YOUR PLEA, FAITHFUL ONE. I SHALL INDEED JOIN YOU IN BANISHING THIS SO-CALLED
‘HELLSPAWN’ TO THE OUTER NIGHTMARES….”
”Why do I sense
a ‘but?’” murmured Ancalagon.
DAY APPROACHES AND MY POWERS WANE ALREADY. I MUST REPAIR TO THE DEEP FOR
REST BUT LEAVE YOU WITH SOME COUNSEL. FIRSTLY, FAITHFUL ONE, BEWARE A MORTAL
TEMPTRESS. SHE CONCEALS A TRAGIC AND FELL FATE. I CANNOT DIVINE IT FURTHER
AT THIS TIME. SECOND: TO TRULY BANISH THE ‘HELLSPAWN,’ YE MUST RALLY THE
GUARDIANS OF FOUR WINDS. PHOENIX, DRAGON, GREAT CAT AND TORTOISE. THEY
SHALL CONSIGN THE WRETCH TO HIS TRUE REWARD. TREAD LIGHTLY AND FAREWELL
The sun inexorably
rose, spreading a grayish pallor across the fading night sky. Somewhere
in the distance, an Ookundoru male crowed, Roostville's answer to the rooster
call. Throwing up a great arm against daylight's glare, Chernobog sank
into darkness. Melkor, lost in brooding thought and with a severe narcoleptic
pressure upon his eyelids, failed to register Kedzuel's commentary.
“Well, that was
perplexing as all get out. For one thing, what dragon? Too many to sort
through around here, and I should know!” Ancalagon, nursing a premonition
of his own, opened mighty jaws to speak, then thought better of it.
matters will make sense after a night’s…err, day's rest. At any rate, this
sounds like fun! My Lady shall keep for another week or so."
awake, Melkor agreed, gratefully clambering aboard the great mane that
ringed the demon-dragon’s skull. Recalling Kedzuel's assistance, he called
I'm heading back to the Leviathan. If you want a spot to crash, you're
more than welcome." The web mistress mulled this over for a moment, then
cracked a resigned grin.
“What the hey.
In for a penny, in for a pound, or some such gobbledygook.” Accepting a
mail-clad hand up, Kedzuel settled in beside Melkor as their fearsome mount
Monday, Oct. 6
SJJ and Ubergeek
were awakened by Garland. "Time to resume your trip. Let me be your guide,"
"Alright. We could
use someone who knows these mountains," Ubergeek quickly agreed.
"First time in
They left the
cave and discovered the fog was gone. There was nothing except rocks and
dirt to be seen as they set out up the mountain, overcoming many hardships
They soon came
to a bridge. "Is it safe?" SJJ asked.
"Let us find out."
Garland slowly started to cross and stopped in the middle. "All right,"
he called back. "It's stable." Ubergeek and SJJ followed. They skirted
a waterfall and slowly made the trip down the the other side of the mountain.
By nightfall, the little party had neared the bottom and could hear the
same strange noises from the night before coming from far above them.
"Where to now?"
"There's a village
not too far from here. Quickly, let's go!" Garland shouted.
Jet Jaguar, Rev. Matthew Laurence and Goji Son