Jalepino Club pepper logo

Rodan 2000's JALEPINO CLUB

INDEX

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
CAST OF
CHARACTERS
Andross
Angillis 333
Aqualla
B-99*
BattraKing
Battrarules
The Blue Devil
Boo
Catbert
D.B. Zelda
Lord Desutoroia
Khandejifer

Earth Baragon
Enshohma
Evil Genius Man
Gamingboy
GAMZILLA
Godzilla Guy
Heisei Mothra*
Hellspawn
Hozay Nissen
James D
Kato Yasunori
Kiryu Goji
Leviathan
Yuri Manda
Melkor
Minsc
Rev. Mitchell Laurence
Miyako Aso
Morgoth
Orga 99
The Pizza Robber
Poetry Man
Prince of Space
Princess of Space
The Psychic Lady
RadoGoji
Robert Ranting
Rodan2000
Sandworm Phish
Saruman
Sauron
Seer 235
Space Varen
Super Godzilla Fan*
Super Jet Jaguar
Ubergeek
Sheriff Varan
Yongary
Zax
Zearatul
*Spammerites =
Banished from Roostville
LOCATIONS and
ENTITIES
G-FEST
Dark Lords
Kilokhan Clan
The Most Romantic
Restaurant in Roostville
Gigan's Pizza
Rodan 2000's Ferrari
The Most Romantic Hotel
in Roostville
Megaguirus Hive
Assassin's Club
Roostville Fire Dep't.
East River City-Buster
City Hall
War of the Cosmos
The Colosseum
The Council of Death
The Prophecy of
Roostville

Todd McFarlane Cult
Melkor's estate
Maser City
The Nightmare Realm
The Jalepinomobile
Kenji Sahara Desert
Roostville Militia
KEY EVENTS
Rodan 2000 gets a
special medallion
Lord K and Princess of
Space get married
Dr. Phish wants to be a
super hero!
The Assassin's Club gets
blown up
Roostville© Robot packs
are issued
Halloween at the East
River City-Buster
The Psychic Lady comes
to town
Foreshadowing the
"Dark Ages"
CURRENT
ADVENTURES

CONTRIBUTORS
Rodan2000 (Aug. 18,
2003)
Space Varen
RadoGoji
Battrarules
Neo-Crucifer
Kiryu goji
Ubergeek (Oct. 31, 2003)
Godzilla Guy (Nov. 4,
2003)
Zearatul (June 24, 2004)
Burkion

INTRODUCTION

Now that Rodan 2000 has come to Roostville, he finally has a chance to start a business of his own. On Aug. 22, 2003 (2012 in the Roostverse) Rodan 2000's Jalepino Club opened its doors and is still the place to go for great drinks, food and just plain FUN!

The downstairs area has one large room. The walls are dark blue and there is a stage at one end for a singer like in THE MASK. Tables and bars are along the sides and there's a second level that goes around the walls.

Find out what all can happen at the Jalepino Club!

Chapter One: OPENING DAY

The doors were open, the lights were on and Rodan 2000 was ready for opening night. No one had come in yet but the place had only been open a few minutes. He looked around and admired his new club. There were neon lights in the shapes of peppers and jalapenos. The jazz band was tuning up. The building wasn't all that big, just enough room for about 30 people at the tables, plus the band and singer. Finally, the door opened and in walked the first customer.

Prince of Space came in and Rodan 2000 was about to welcome him when Prince took something out of his pocket. It was a tape recorder. He tossed it to the floor and before it hit, it turned into a robotic T.rex.

"Sorry about my friend here," Prince explained. "He always insists that I take him with me."

"A bit strange, but he's too small to cause any damage, right?"

"Of course. By the way, have you seen...?" Just then, someone else barged in.

"Hey, Prince! I've been looking for you! Yes, it's me, your evil sister, the Princess of Space! I wanted to talk to you about our little BET!"

"Now, now sis..."

"I just wanted to let you know that you won. Those were the wrong answers to the college test I stole. Here's the twenty bucks I owe you," she explained and offered the cash.

"Oh, yeah. Cool." Prince wiped the sweat off his forehead. "So okay, bye."

"OK," she said, narrowing her eyes. "But I might be back so watch out." She then ran back out.

"Whew!"

"I won't even ask," Rodan 2000 said. Just then, the front door opened and Kiryu Goji came rolling clumsily through the room, smashing into the refrigerator and getting his head stuck in a pickle jar.

"Kiryu!" Prince admonished him. "I thought I said no more attempts at building rocket ships!"

"Yeah! Last time it took us three hours to get your head out of the wall," added Rodan 2000.

"Whatever. Anyway, I just came to say I brought something to keep Prince's sister busy while we go to G-FEST tonight."

"What is it, a bomb?" asked Prince.

"Nope, even better!" he paused and smiled. "A twenty three and a half foot python!"

"Did someone mention my name?" asked the Princess, bursting back in.

"Ya, we were just looking for you," said Kiryu Goji. "We got a present for you."

"Just don't open it until you're about ten blocks away," Rodan 2000 added.

"Ya. We wouldn't want you to get all tangled up in the club here," Prince advised.

"Okay." She ran off to open it ten blocks away as the guys waited. They soon heard a loud shriek, followed by "AAAGGGGGHHHH!!!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!! I'M MELTING!!!!! I HATE SNAKES!!!! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..." They all started laughing.

"Any ways, we'd better get goin' to G-FEST," said Prince of Space. "I hear they have a MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 DVD for the first 25 people."

"Then we better scramble!" advised Kiryu Goji with a big grin.

"Just give me a second," called Rodan 2000. "I'm bringing a fold out cart bar for drinks, courtesy of the Jalepino Club."

"Cool!" said Kiryu Goji and the Prince of Space.

"Thanks. Well, let's go." R2K put up a CLOSED FOR G-FEST. SEE YOU THERE! sign and the three guys set out for the big Kaiju convention.

Later:

"That was some G-FEST!" Rodan 2000 exclaimed as he re-opened the club when they returned.

"Yeah! I liked the Michelle Branch song about DESTROY ALL MONSTERS," Kiryu Goji said.

"And when she walked off stage, she had a Godzilla tail tied to her pants. Heh-heh-heh," remarked Prince of Space.

"And best of all, we all got MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 DVDs!!" they all said at once.

"Let's watch on the big screen," Rodan 2000 suggested. As they were starting the movie, the doors opened. It was Godzilla Guy.

"Hey, don't start without me!"

"I saw you at G-FEST," Rodan 2000 commented.

"Yeah. I only went to grab some videos anyway. What are we watching?" They had watched MST3K for about an hour when Godzilla Guy remembered a question he had.

"Who was that girl being chased by a massive snake?"

"Oh that... Just forget it," Prince advised.

"By the way, check out what I found!" Godzilla Guy pulled out a small box he had in his pocket and opened it to reveal a gold medallion in the shape of a pterodactyl. Rodan 2000 quickly picked it up.

"I've been looking for this! When I wear it, it turns me into my Speed Rodan form. Watch." He put the medallion around his neck and transformed. His wings were much more massive and his tail much longer and thinner, with three scythes pointing outward in different directions on the end.

"Wow!" exclaimed Godzilla Guy. "I'm glad I found that." Rodan 2000's new voice echoed in a way that brought awe to everyone in the room.

"I am, too. I've looked for this for years. It's supposed to unlock great powers for me. Thanks." He took it off and transformed back into Rodan 2000. "Thanks, man. You want to watch some more MST3K?" As they turned the big screen back on, the doors swung open. Sheriff Varan and his posse, accompanied by the Dark Lords themselves, had come to the last bar in Roostville, still trying to find out what might have caused the town to disappear for over a week.

Outside, an ominous chant could be heard: "THE ROOST IS BACK! THE ROOST IS BACK!"

Rodan 2000 asked the Sheriff, "What's the problem this time?" Varan glared at the tavern keeper.

"If you haven't noticed, Roostville just returned from the Twilight Zone. The townsfolk also nearly lynched Sauron because their Internet dial-up wasn't working." He looked around at the customers. "You guys have anything to do with it?"

"No, sir!" they all assured him.

"Well, what do you guys think?" the Sheriff asked his troops.

"Maybe someone launched the town into the Twilight Zone because they were banned and were getting revenge," Godzilla Guy suggested.

"Ya, I'll bet it was someone who wanted revenge," agreed Rodan 2000. "Any ways, the Roost is back, isn't it? It's pretty annoying to have it gone like that, though. Trust me, I love this place as much as you do. In fact..." He began to sing, "This Roost is your Roost, this Roost is my Roost, this Roost was made for you and..."

"OK, OK, OK! I did it!" yelled a figure in the crowd. It was Poetry Man. "I did it! Take me away."

"Why would you do such a heinous crime?" asked Sheriff Varan.

"I couldn't help it! It was a red button that I had to press. And then, well, you know the rest," he pleaded.

Narrator: What will become of our poor Poetry Man?

"Shut up there!" Poetry Man yelled.

Narrator: Sorry. I was just trying to get the audience to sympathize with you. Excuse me for trying to help...

"Well, shut up anyway. What I did is beyond forgiveness," the culprit sobbed.

"If you feel that strongly, why did you do it or fess up?" asked Sheriff Varan.

"Because Rodan 2000's song was so... so beautiful! Boo-Hoo-Hoo!" he sobbed as Sheriff Varan took out his cuffs, put them on and led Poetry Man to his car.

"Wait," called Rodan 2000. "What would the Roost be without Poetry Man? Just let him go. He's sorry, isn't he?"

"Okay, sure," Sheriff Varan finally agreed. He slapped Poetry Man on the wrist and let him go.

"That's it?" PM asked in surprise at his good fortune.

"You are sorry, aren't you?" asked Sheriff Varan.

"Okay..."

Narrator: And so, Poetry Man is safe, and...

"Hey, shut up there!" screamed Poetry Man.

"Ah, good times," Rodan 2000 sighed as the whole procession left and continued down the street. Just then, the doors opened and in walked the mighty Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer. Unbeknownst by the others, Lord K. had Disassociative Identity Disorder. In other words, Multiple Personality Syndrome and he was not himself this fair night. Lord K. was also the secret leader of a cult called the Kilokhan Clan. But to everyone else, he just appeared to be an average guy in an average town like Roostville.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the creepiest Roostafarian that I ever did see," said Rodan 2000. Suddenly, from the depths of heaven came the sound of thunder and lightning. Then all the lights went out.

"I'LL HAVE A ZOMBIE, A MIX OF COKE, DR. PEPPER AND SPRITE. AND IT HAD BETTER BE THE BEST ZOMBIE I'VE EVER HAD!!!" Lord Khandejifer boomed.

"A Zombie. Fitting..." Rodan 2000 muttered. He prepared it and Lord Khandejifer asked that he place it on a table.

"Yes, oh creepy one." Rodan 2000 did so and Lord Khandejifer began to take off his mask, revealing a regular face under it.

"Will ya stop with the 'creepy' stuff?" he laughed good-natured.

"Sorry," Rodan 2000 apologized.

"Hey, this is pretty good!" Lord K. remarked. "Well, I gotta go." He put his mask back on. "MY REGARDS TO THIS CLUB." As he reached out to open the door, it opened to reveal Sheriff Varan.

"Forgot my hat." He retrieved it from the bar and departed once again.

"That Lord K. was just born to be a mad doctor," Godzilla Guy insisted. Suddenly, in through the window jumped Princess of Space.

"I'm going to kill you, Prince of Space! And all your little friends too!" she shouted. She then let out an evil laugh, followed by a lot of coughing.

"Err, I just remembered I gotta go... somewhere. Bye!" Godzilla Guy scrambled out the door to get far away from the irate Princess. Just then, Lord Khandejifer returned.

"And just who are you?" Princess of Space asked him. "By the way, I know who you are but they always ask that in Japanese cartoons, even if they already know."

"I AM LORD KHANDEJIFER. AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE TO CAUSE YOUR DESTRUCTION. I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AT MY FAVORITE CLUB!" he said. "By the way, I know what you mean. I watch that same show."

"Oh, thank you, Lord K!" Rodan 2000 exclaimed with a sigh of relief.

"YOU'RE WELCOME, RODAN 2000. AND AS FOR YOU, PRINCESS..." he charged at her, swinging his blade. She attacked with her Prince of Space rip-off power stick and the two began to battle. She would whack, he would swing and so on. "YOU FIGHT PRETTY GOOD FOR A GIRL, AND YOU'RE HOT."

"Why thank you!!!" she replied as they had now stopped fighting and were looking each other over. "Want to go out?"

"WHY, SURE. JUST AS LONG AS YOU LEAVE THIS CLUB ALONE AND DO NOT HARM THESE PEOPLE." The unlikely pair walked out holding hands. A few moments of silence went by.

"EWWW!" exclaimed Prince of Space loudly.

"You said it!" agreed Rodan 2000.

"Ya... I don't know what got into Lord K. just now," frowned Kiryu Goji. Just then, Godzilla Guy jumped back inside through the window.

"Okay, I just saw Lord K. and Princess of Space walking together and holding hands. What did I miss?"

"Just a short battle and some pretty weird *ahem* 'bonding'", explained Rodan 2000. Godzilla Guy blinked.

"Wink wink, nudge nudge," Prince of Space added.

"EWWW!!!!" exclaimed Godzilla Guy.

"That's what I say," declared the Prince of Space as they started to just stand around and talk like they had been doing. Suddenly, the doors burst open and Kiryu Goji came in. Rodan 2000 realized the obvious.

"You were just here. Where did you go?"

"Oh, I just went to buy some barf bags for all the kissing."

"Shut up, you snake!" yelled the Princess as she finally caught up with him.

"Snake? Oh, you mean like this?" asked Kiryu as he pulled a corn snake out of his pocket.

"AAAAAAAAA!" yelled the Princess as she ran screaming, right into a wall. Lord K. had also returned and punched Kiryu. Everyone got into a dogfight. Godzilla Guy jumped on a table and shouted at them.

"HEY! I know this sounds very hero-like but why are we all fighting?" Everyone stopped and considered this.

The Princess got back up and huffed, "C'mon, Lord K. Let's go do something. Let's go somewhere... ROMANTIC!" Kiryu Goji barfed. Godzilla Guy put his headphones on and began listening to drown out the romance. Rodan 2000 just stared.

"Erm, I really don't like my sis going out with that Lord K.," Prince of Space admitted after they had departed. "I better go break them up." He ran outside, closing the door behind him. A few seconds later, he came hurling through the door, leaving a large hole.

"NEVER MESS WITH LORD K AND THE PRINCESS OF SPACE!" The two screamed together before both running away.

"My new door...!" Rodan 2000 gasped.

"Don't worry! I can fix that!" Kiryu Goji volunteered. In his hand materialized a magic hammer which he used to fix the door in three seconds.

"Cool!" Rodan 2000 exclaimed.

"Hey! I've been looking for that hammer everywhere!" Godzilla guy yelled and snatched it away from Kiryu. Rodan 2000 aimed a punch at Kiryu and reminded him not to steal. Within seconds, everyone was punching and kicking. Godzilla Guy sighed and jumped into the fight.

Prince's little robotic T.rex had been watching all this and if he could, he would have laughed. His master almost always ended up getting hurt, even when he never planned on anything but a 'normal' night.

Prince of Space got up. "Ow! Oh, that's just great! Now I have to get a new suit again." He looked at the new hole he had made in the door and saw a model rocket fly in. It circled the room twice as everyone watched, then landed in the middle of the room.

"This is a message from Lord K. Me and Princess of Space are at The Most Romantic Restaurant in Roostville and we would like to deliver this message."

A hole opened up in the tiny rocket and a hologram came out. It was Lord K. and Princess of Space kissing. Nearly everyone threw up except Prince of Space. His face just got very red and steam came out his ears.

"LORD K, I WILL GET YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!! I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MY SIS!"

"Wait!" Rodan 2000 suggested. "Instead of you going there, why don't we have Lord K. come here? That little rocket can send a message back!" They considered it and sent off a response.

Meanwhile at The Most Romantic Restaurant in Roostville:

A rocket smashed through the window and flew over to Lord K.'s and the Princess of Space's table. A hole opened in it's side and a hologram of Prince of Space came out and said:

"LORD K.: I WANT YOU TO STOP DATING MY SISTER. I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL. IF I WIN, YOU GIVE ME MY SISTER BACK. IF YOU WIN, YOU CAN KEEP HER."

The hole closed and the hologram vanished. Within the next five minutes, Prince of Space received the following message:

"Please, leave us alone. We are engaged and kindly request that you leave us in peace.
Signed, Lord K. and the Princess of Space."

"Come on, Prince! If Lord K. is that much in love with her, then he probably gets what he deserves," Rodan 2000 figured. "But if you really want to break them up, then here's what you do..." Everyone leaned in close. "All you have to do is get another guy for Princess fall in love with. Now to me, this is a rescue for Lord K. and a whatever you want to call it for Princess. We can use a hologram I have to create a fake 'Mr. Perfect' for Princess. He can lead her away, then zap her into another world - wherever we want her to go. Then we can borrow one of Evil Genius Man's cloner devices to make a Lady K. Then everything will be all right."

Soon, the plan was put into motion. The guys all watched through the eyes of the hologram as Mr. P. walked through the restaurant to find Princess. Then he waltzed over and swept her off her feet. Lord K. was left sitting there with his mouth open.

"Princess! Where are you going?"

"Oh, hush up, Lordy. You were good but this guy is, well, PERFECT." Lord K. started to cry but then, an all-too-familiar looking masked person sat down at the table and removed her mask to reveal a beautiful girl. His jaw again dropped open.

"Hi, Lord K. You know, every Lord needs a Lady..." she said. The two instantly started kissing and, well, let's just end that part here...


Back at the Jalepino Club, all the guys cheered and gave each other high fives.

"And now, to zap the Princess!" said Prince of Space.

"Where will we send her?" asked Godzilla Guy.

"We'll put her in... Hyrule!" Prince suggested.

"Good idea! Let's just hope Link can handle her," said Kiryu Goji.

"Ya, that's a pretty good idea," admitted Rodan 2000. Suddenly the doors opened and Lord K. walked in.

"How dare you steal my future wife from me!" After hours of arguing, Lord K. had won back the Princess of Space's heart and the two were off to make plans for their marriage.

"I've got to break those two up!" swore Prince Of Space. "Perhaps my old buddies, Megatron (Generation 1) and Cobra Commander, could help me out here." He left the club to go after Lord K. and his sister. As he walked off, a voice called out.

"HEY!" It was Prince. "You stay away from my sista!" He then hit Lord K., knocking him to the ground.

"Lord Khandy, NO!" Princess of Space shouted. "Brother! Why can't you and your immature friends just grow up and be happy for the two of us instead playing your childish games?" Rodan 2000, Kiryu Goji and Godzilla Guy came out to see what all the commotion was about.

"What happened to Lord K.?" they all asked at once.

"I punched him in the face," admitted Prince of Space.

"Oh." Then the Princess started crying and ran into the closet.

"Lets hope that worked," said Rodan 2000.

"Let's celebrate!" yelled Prince. "We'll all go to Gigan's Pizza!"

'Here are the keys to your Ferrari, Rodan 2000," offered Kiryu Goji.

"You thief!" yelled R2K.

"Sorry..." grinned Kiryu Goji. Everyone got in the car and they drove to the restaurant. When they got there, they noticed something strange. A robber was leaving with 100 pounds of pizza in a sack.

"Get him!" everyone yelled as they charged. Suddenly, a Mod car pulled up. Melkor got out and approached the would-be heroes.

"Excuse me," he said. "Prince of Space, you are under arrest for Physical Abuse Against a Roostville Citizen."

Chapter Two: THE MARRIAGE OF LORD K. AND THE PRINCESS OF SPACE

Meanwhile, Princess of Space had stopped crying in the closet and Desutoroia was conscious again. They had arranged for Rev. Michael Lazarus (aka. Mitchell Laurence) to come to the club and marry them.

"I love you, my beautiful Princess of Space and I will do all that I can to make you the most happiest bride in all of Roostville."

"Aw... that's so romantic!"

"And my beautiful Princess, I promise you that I will never leave your side..." The two smiled happily at each other and walked off holding hands.


The Prince of Space sat in his cell.

"Man, I have GOT to stop doing this! This is the third time this week."

"Dinner is served." The jailer brought it in, as well as some books. Prince eyed one titled HOW TO ESCAPE FROM JAIL.

"Nah," he thought to himself. "Too obvious. One more night won't hurt." With that, he ate his meal and went to sleep since he could get bailed out the next day.


Lord K. and Princess of Space were in The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville going "I love you-No, I love YOU!" as they stared into each other's eyes, madly in love. Then, the Pizza Robber came into the hotel with his gun drawn.

"OK, everyone put ya hands up!!" They did. "I'm looking for the two richest people in town." Poetry Man came forward.

"They are upstairs. Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer and the Princess of Space." Everyone was angry at him.

"He must be banned!" "Ban them BOTH!!!" Various guests and staff shouted as the Pizza Robber headed upstairs and kicked in the door to the Honeymoon Suite.

"Ok, gimme all ya money!"

"Sort this guy out, oh creepy one!" Princess of Space frowned, quickly kissing her new husband.

"OK, my love!"

"Go then, my handsome!"

"Yes, I will, my little treasure!"

"You keep my heart going madly with love."

"You keep my mouth working with the taste of love!"

"You have stolen my heart and held it high above my head!"

"You are the light that guides my way..."

"You keep me going through my hard times."

"Your face is like a glow through the darkness of our troubles."

"Your beauty steals my heart."

"Your handsomeness pulls me through the darkest days." The Pizza Robber rolled his eyes.

"Come on, you idiots! This isn't how it's supposed to go! Come on and fight me, lose, then I escape with the money." Lord K. got out his blades and began swinging them wildly.

"WUYAAAA~!" he screamed as he threw one at the robber who ducked, then took a bite of his pizza. He then kicked Lord K. who fell to the floor.

"NO! MY HANDSOME!" Princess of Space screamed.


Meanwhile, Prince of Space had been chatting with the guard at the jail for the longest time.

"Yeah, my favorite movie is GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS, too," he lied.

"Yeah? Cool!"

"Hey! Shall we go watch it now? I have the DVD and I know a great club we could watch it at and maybe pick up a few chicks, eh?" The gullible guard nodded, then opened the cell. "HIYAAAAAA!" screamed Prince as he karate-chopped his jailer and ran out the cell. "I don't know why I'm doing this... Ah, who am I kidding? It's more fun, that's why!" He ran down the hall and was soon spotted by other guards.

"Ah, we WERE gonna let you go but escaping is a big no-no." They tossed him back in the cell but little did they realize that it was just a robotic double and Prince had already escaped out another door.


As mentioned before, Desutoroia suffered from a Multiple Personality Disorder. As his head hit the floor, he blacked out and a new persona took control of his body. This new entity was known as Leviathan who attacked the robber head on, then threw him out the window.

"That will teach those scum bags to mess with thy Lord!" Leviathan proclaimed.

"Oh, you saved me, my love," the Princess of Space gushed. She then hugged her husband. The Princess' affection for him was able to bring back the REAL Lord K.


Back at the Jalepino Club, Prince of Space had returned.

"Back so soon?" grinned Rodan 2000.

"Yah, it was easier than usual," he replied. "Any idea where Lord K. and my sis are?"

"Not a clue," said Godzilla Guy. "We think we're close and found out they were at The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville and got a tape of what they were doing before and part way as they were being robbed by the same guy from Gigan's Pizza. Here's what we saw so get your barf bag ready." They rolled the tape on the big screen and it began with the two love birds looking deeply into each other's eyes and having a contest of "I love you-No, I love YOU!" Then the door burst open to reveal Poetry Man and the Pizza Robber. There was of course all the mushy stuff. Then the tape ended.

"You know, Prince, I'm starting to think that you should forget about this. You've been in jail too many times to go back over splitting them up. I mean, what do you think will happen to them, anyway!" Rodan 2000 asked.

"Ya, maybe you're right. Let's forget about them for a while. Maybe pick back up if we can ever find them again." Prince had finally given in.

"Good! I was getting bored with chasing them down and everything and wanting to do something else," admitted Kiryu Goji.

"So what do you want to do?" asked Rodan 2000.

"I dunno. What do you want to do?" replied Godzilla Guy.

Chapter Three: THE NEXT DAY

Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer and his new, sexy, beautiful wife were sharing a very romantic evening at the hotel. First they dined together, then planned to spend some intimate time with each other in their room.
At the Jalepino Club, the doors burst open savagely and Rodan 2000, Prince of Space, Godzilla Guy and Kiryu Goji could hear a faint yell outside.

"COBRA LALALALALALALALALA!" Then, in walked Serpentor, Cobra Commander, Generation 2 Megatron and Starscream.

"Whoops," Prince of Space told his Jalepino pals. "I forgot to tell you about these guys. The deal's off."

"What?" C.C. replied. "We were sssupossed to asssisst you in exchange for your new experimental ssspace-ssship."

"Yeah, uh, you can still have it. Although I have made a couple changes. Starscream, I want you to fly me to the city for a little spying."

"You dare to order me..."

"Starscream," Megatron demanded. "Do it. Now."

"But I..."

"I said NOW!" Starscream transformed and Prince got into the cockpit. Megatron also transformed and C.C. got inside as Serpentor stayed behind. "What are you all looking at?"

"Nothing!" everyone said at once, still shocked that two huge robots managed to fit inside the club and leave without causing any damage whatsoever.

"Then stop it. This I command!" They all jumped into the robots which walked away.

"Err, I'm afraid I have just lost it. Who is Prince spying on?" Godzilla Guy asked. Suddenly, a beep was heard from outside.

"I'll just bet you that Prince of Space is spying on Lord K. and Princess of Space!" Godzilla Guy exclaimed in an excited tone. Everyone stared at him with a 'Duh' look on their face.

"Oh. But that beeping is starting to annoy me," Rodan 2000 admitted. They went to have a look and saw it was Prince's robot rex.

"You killed my master!" it said.

"Wow! Calm down! He ain't dead!" Kiryu Goji insisted.

"YOU KILLED HIM. NOW YOU WILL PAY!!!" It leaped straight at the group.


Prince of Space was just about to look through the window of The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville.

"Whoa, calm down, Rexy! Prince just went with the Transformers to spy on Lord K. and Princess," Rodan 2000 tried to explain.

"Are you sure?" asked the robot.

"Yes. See for yourself," said Kiryu Goji, pointing at the big screen. There was the transformed version of Starscream with Prince at the helm, looking into the window of The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville.

"Oh, okay. But then who's that outside?" asked the rex robot. They all went outside to see the body of Prince of Space. Kiryu Goji went over to it and picked up a limp arm. Then he glared witheringly at the circuits underneath its synthetic skin.

"This was his robot double."

"That would explain the beeping," said the rex.


Meanwhile, at The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville, Prince of Space sat in Starscream, watching Princess and Lord K. dine in.

"Hey, Starscream. Could you transform into a motorcycle?"

"Sure," said the robot menacingly. And he did.

"Thanks!" Prince sat in the saddle, watching through the window as the couple inside were eating. It began to rain as Princess and Lord K. began feeding each other the food on their forks. Suddenly, Prince turned on the lights of the motorcycle and revved the engine as if to blast through the window, reminiscent of AMERICAN SWEETHEARTS but before he could make the jump, a Mod shined his flashlight on him.

"Don't even think about it."

"Oh, okay. But I'm just giving in this once," said Prince defiantly as he rode off with the Transformers. They soon arrived back at the Jalepino Club.

"Okay, now give us the space ship," demanded Megatron.

"Okay, okay! It's out back," Prince replied, giving them the keys. They all ran out like a bunch of kids who just stolen a piece of gum from the candy store. The engine of a spaceship could soon be heard taking off into the distance, followed by a loud explosion. Everyone saw the robots blasting off into the sky. "I guess they didn't like the new improvements," figured Prince. Suddenly, the door opened, slowly at first, then about half way and finally flung the rest of the way. It was THE CHEESE!


Far off on the outskirts of time, Generation 2 Megatron picked himself up.

"So... That Prince dares to betray me... No one betrays Megatron!" He transformed into his Tank mode and drove off. Starscream had planned his own betrayal scheme...


Back at the Jalepino Club after things had quieted down, a drunken Melkor barged in, took a seat and called for the bartender. He asked for a cup of coffee but before he could drink it, he fell asleep, his head slamming the table. Apparently, he was dreaming because Rodan 2000 and a couple of well-learned Maoris with British accents akin to the Queen's heard him mouthing a few words.

The curious observers and wondering barkeep claimed it was about a 'golden cow', 'clipped wings', 'mirror father', 'blog blog', 'boo hoo', 'grr' and a couple of sound effects similar to dive-bombing planes. After Melkor had said his piece, he woke abruptly, drank his coffee, gave the bartender a pat on the back, said good bye to the Maoris and left the Jalepino Club.

"You know, it's getting late so we may close soon," Rodan said. It had been a long night but it wasn't over yet when Generation 2 Megatron returned.

"My dear Rodan 2000. Where is the Prince of Space?!" he demanded. "We have some unfinished business which needs attending." Starscream also walked in.

"You are a fool, Megatron! Why waste energy on pathetic flesh creatures when we could be preparing for the conquest of Cybertron?!" Megatron then got into a fight with Starscream. It was the usual: Starscream wanting leadership of the Decepticons, Megatron attempting to destroy Starscream for his failed treachery. Meanwhile, Godzilla Guy informed Prince of Space that the Decepticons were looking for him.

"I hate to do this but we all know Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer is the most powerful of us all. We have to ask him for help," Godzilla Guy figured. They quickly told Rodan to keep the two robots busy.


Godzilla Guy and Prince of Space barged into The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville and saw the Mods talking to Poetry Man. They asked the person behind the counter what room Princess of Space and Lord K were in.

"Why should I tell you?" he asked.

"Because we have money," Prince replied.

"Oh, that's different. They are in Room 414 on the third floor." Then Godzilla Guy punched him and knocked him out. They ran upstairs and came into the room gasping for breath.

"Help me, Lord K.! You are my only hope!" The Prince of Space beseeched him.

"Why should I?" Lord K. demanded to know.

"Yah. Why should my sexy Lord help you, brother?" asked the Princess of Space.

"Because," Prince began. "Megatron and the Decepticons want me... dead..." Megatron and Soundwave, along with Shockwave, Skywarp and Thundercracker entered the room.

"WOW! CHECK OUT THE HOT CHICK!" they all said, staring at Princess of Space and started to approach her. "IGNORE PRINCE OF SPACE! GET THE PRINCESS!" they shouted. Suddenly from outside, a shotgun blast could be heard.

"Ya lousy bird! Get out of mah sight!" someone shouted. The terrified creature came straight through the open window and whacked Lord K. who fainted. Immediately, Leviathan took control of him again. He hated the Transformers as they had had a very unfortunate meeting in a bakery once. Megatron remembered it vividly:

He was hanging around the bakery when suddenly, Leviathan jumped in through the window and ordered everything in sight. He was going along with this massive tray which fell on Megatron. Leviathan laughed and ran off.

"So, Leviathan. We meet again!" he shouted. "GET LEVIATHAN!" All the others sighed before following his orders. Leviathan revealed his sharp blades when the crazy bird decided he had had enough and tried to fly out the window but hit Leviathan in the process who turned back into Lord K. While this was happening, Prince of Space was creeping towards the door with Godzilla Guy.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" the robots shouted and went after Prince, leaving Lord K. feeling silly holding his blades for no apparent reason.

In the Megaguirus Hive, way off the coast of Roostville:

Megaguirus walked down into the depths of the hive. It resembled hell, but without tortured souls or a devil. He walked into the control room, not surprised to find it empty. His Moderators, D.B. Zelda and Seer 235, were sitting on overstuffed couches, watching the Roostville news in the rec room.

"So what's going on in Roostville?" he asked.

Seer 235 replied, "A group of robots are chasing Prince of Space."

"What are the names of these robots?" Megaguirus asked. He listened intently while Seer named them, then went to the computer and accessed the Roostville database. He soon realized that the robots chasing Prince were there illegally. "Contact the Roostville Mods!" he yelled. "I'm taking Me'tera squadron on a hunt for these robots."


Megatron, Soundwave, Shockwave, Skywarp and Thundercracker had quit their new mission and returned to their original objective: Capture the flesh creature known as Prince of Space. And there he was, wearing a cheap Galvatron rip-off costume.

"Decepticons! Attack!" Megatron ordered. They went in for the kill as Soundwave let loose Laser Beak to acquire Prince. Just as it was about to grab him, Starscream came out of nowhere, grabbed Prince, inserted him into the pilot area of his Jet Mode and flew off.

"STARSCREAM!" Megatron shouted after him. Starscream revealed that he planned to help him destroy Megatron. Meanwhile the Me'tera squadron had sensed that there was lots of metal nearby and saw what they were looking for: a group of robots. They took a special interest in the flying one. The jets on that thing meant it was a going to be warm meal and Megaguirus never suspected that the flying one was helping Prince of Space.


Prince of Space flew through the air with the flying robot. Megatron was also in flying form and chasing them, along with the others. Just then, an amazing coincidence occurred.

The same bird that made Lord K. turn into Leviathan flew straight past Prince of Space and into Megatron. He started shooting everywhere, hitting his fellow robots which blew up instantly. Megatron self-destructed before Starscream did. Prince of Space was dropped onto the Jalepino Club and the robots' reign of terror had ended. The Me'tera squadron chasing them decided to go back home, very confused.

The Jalepino Club was getting ready to close when Homer Simpson came in and started ordering loads of beer. Rodan 2000 finally cleared everyone out and shut the doors.

Chapter Four: DAY THREE

Sunrise came over Roostville and Rodan 2000 opened the club once again. Godzilla Guy was the first to come in and he greeted him. At The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville, Princess of Space awoke beside Desutoroia.

Kiryu Goji came tumbling into the club, holding some car keys. He looked at them, seemed puzzled and promptly threw them out the door.

"So, let me see here. Everything is cleared up, right?"

"Yep. No more trying to break up the Princess and Lord K., no more vengeful Decepticons and no more psycho rex robots," declared Rodan 2000. "Things are seemingly normal today, if there is anything normal at the Jalepino Club..."

"Wonder where Prince of Space is. He should be here by now," Godzilla Guy figured.

"Yeah, where is he?" asked R2K. Suddenly, the doors simply exploded. As the dust cleared, an open-armed figure began to take shape. It was Jeremiah Surd, the villain from JONNY QUEST who was paralyzed and forced to use a sort of futuristic floating wheel chair to get around.

"Oh, great!" Prince groaned. "That's the second cartoon character voiced by Frank Welker to enter the club..."

"How did cartoons get into Roostville anyway?" Godzilla Guy wondered.

Just then, Jeremiah Surd looked around and declared, "My place is not here. I am in the wrong place. I thought this was the set for JONNY QUEST." He then promptly left. Rodan 2000 put a sign outside saying NO CARTOONS! and hundreds of 'toons were turned away as this was the only club in town that had let them in the door. Somewhat disappointed, Kiryu Goji pulled a small silver device with a dial on it out of his pocket.

"It's a time traveler! We could go back and change stuff. I got it off B-99 and his clone who were on the run. Anyone wanna use it?" Rodan glared at him.

"NO TIME TRAVELING! CAN'T YOU READ THE RULES?!" He pointed to a piece of paper that clearly stated:
RULES OF RODAN 2000's JALEPINO CLUB:
  1. NO TIME TRAVELING
  2. NO ALIEN ATTACKS
Thank you

"Oops. I guess I forgot," said Kiryu before putting the device back in his pocket. Rodan cooled down a bit until suddenly, a space ship materialized outside and crashed through the window. Three Dorats, accompanied by the girl from the future in GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH came out.

"NO SPACESHIPS AND NO TIME TRAVELING! YOU BROKE BOTH THE RULES!" screamed Rodan 2000. The Dorats and the girl were kicked out with a shoe mark on their butts.

"Wow! Cool down!" Godzilla Guy advised him.

Rodan calmly replied, "I stick to my rules. Sorry, guys." Just then, the door opened and loads of steam came gushing in. They could make out a dark figure before they slumped to the floor unconscious, all except for Rodan 2000 who bravely struggled through the steam so that he could see the figure clearly. It unleashed an evil laugh. This was no cartoon but the female clone of Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer, only she was in the female version of Leviathan!

"Uh-oh," whispered R2K. "Everyone, wake up!!!"

"Oh, wait," she suddenly realized. "I must have come to the wrong place. I was looking for Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer." Then she mumbled, "Dump me for that Princess, would he..." She snapped her fingers, the smoke cleared and everyone came awake. "All right. Where is Desutoroia?" she demanded. Then she released a smoke that made everyone tell the truth.

"He is at The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville with Princess of Space," everyone said in unison.

"Good. Everything is going according to plan," she said and snapped her fingers. Everyone snapped out of it as she left.

"Oh no! We've got to warn Lord K. He is our friend," declared Kiryu Goji.

"Yeah! Let's contact him on the big screen," suggested Rodan 2000. They did and told him what had happened. As they were finishing, Lady K came bursting through the door just as the screen went blank. Lord K. and the Princess (now Mr. and Mrs. Desutoroia Khandejifer) had left to go on their honeymoon. No chance that the female Lord K. rip-off would find the two... unless...

Dr. Phish came in. He was a crazy scientist with insane ideas. Lady K looked round the room, a bit surprised but she used her clever knowledge to figure out a plan. Leviathan's psychic powers kicked in and in her mind, Lady K saw Lord K. and the Princess of Space walking down a sandy beach. They stopped and got closer to each other, their lips puckered as they were about to kiss when...

Leviathan changed back into Lady K and her powers were cut off. It was obvious these Leviathans were a lot better power wise than Lord K. was. She WOULD find those two if it took 325 YEARS!!! She stormed out when suddenly, her mind flipped back to Leviathan. This was becoming a problem. Leviathan's eyes glowed green and she transported back to the Jalepino Club where the group was watching the big screen.

"YOU LIARS! YOU WILL PAY!" They all turned and saw that Lady K was back.

"Hmm. That explains the sandy beach behind Lord K. when we talked to him..." muttered Kiryu Goji.

"YOU TALKED TO HIM!?" Leviathan screamed.

"Oops...!"

Suddenly, Dr. Phish came out from behind a table and said, "I have finally finished my brain converters! I will suck out all your brains!" Leviathan then released loads of smoke as Space Varen walked in, escorted by five nasty looking Meganuras.

"Where did the robots go?" Dr. Phish fell to the floor but the rest covered their mouths. Unfortunately, Space Varen fell down in a dead faint and his Meganuras had to carry him out. Then, they went into a frenzy, attacking everything that looked like it was made of metal while Space Varen summoned the rest of the Meganuras. He also made sure his Moderators were on the way. For no apparent reason, the Meganuras went back to normal and stood by patiently.

Lady K walked out of the club, only to be confronted by them. She let out a yelp and ran down the street, chased by the hungry creatures. When she fell down a hole and disappeared, the Meganuras went back to the Hive with Space Varen following somewhat in a daze, reminding himself to get them all a check up.

Back at the club, the guys all were standing around, trying to figure out what had just happened and if everything was all right when the doors burst open and then shut for no reason, then opened again but this time, more cautiously. It was THE BRAIN CONVERTERS, Dr. Phish's inventions.

"Brain converters, attack!" They turned on a device which sucked your brain out your ears and into their metal chest openings.

"Wow! Hold it!" Rodan 2000 yelled. "First of all, who let you in? And secondly, why do you want our brains?"

Dr. Phish looked round and whistled a bit before saying, "Well, I always wanted to be evil..." Then he got on his knees and sobbed. "I want to be a super hero! But I can't! I hoped that one day, a super hero would come and stop my evil plans. Then he could teach me to be a super hero but they NEVER do!" He carried on, sobbing.

"Sorry. Last time I checked, Roostville didn't have many super heroes," Kiryu Goji reminded him. Dr. Phish then ordered his brain converters to carry him out of the club.


Meanwhile in an alley, Prince of Space was fighting someone. They were punching and kicking and jumping around in a very rough scrap. The person who was fighting him was Catbert...
Back at the club, a package arrived and Rodan 2000 opened it excitedly.

"What is it?" asked Godzilla Guy.

"It's my very own Eclipse Cannon!" he explained happily.

"An Eclipse Cannon, like from the Sonic Adventure Games? That thing that comes out of Perfect Chaos's mouth in SA1?" asked Kiryu Goji.

"Yeah. I ordered it from the Spiegel catalog."

"Cool!" added Godzilla Guy. "What's it for?"

"In case we have anymore problems with Decepticons or such," Rodan 2000 replied. Meanwhile, Catbert had fainted and Prince of Space got away from him by jumping through a window and into the Jalepino Club, only to see Rodan 2000 holding the Eclipse cannon.

"What's that for?" Prince of Space stammered.

"In case we have any more trouble," Rodan 2000 explained again. Just then, three different B-99 copies walked by the window. One was the original B-99, another was the copy and the third was the latest, Heisei Mothra. The Sheriff soon came up to them.

"We allowed B-99 back in town but not all your clones!" he screamed angrily. B-99 and Heisei Mothra escaped but the copy got shot.

"Why did B-99 clone himself anyways?" Kiryu Goji wanted to know.

"Because he didn't like his original image and tried to re-create his life," Rodan 2000 explained. "Hey! Let's check out his cloning machine!"

"That will be cool!" Godzilla guy shouted. They all agreed and set off, following B-99 and Heisei Mothra.


Dr. Phish had returned to his lab and found that the Cartoonizer had been turned on...

"How can this be?" he wondered. The Cartoonizer was one of Phish's earliest inventions and could summon cartoon characters into the real world. "This explains what Rodan 2000 was talking about when he said that Homer Simpson, Surd and the Decepticons were at the club..." Then Phish heard something fall. Someone was in his lab! He turned around and grabbed his laser gun, then crept around the corner and saw Goku from Dragonball Z. Meanwhile, the Jalepino Gang was near the cloning machine.

"Careful, guys! These things are very sensitive..." Kiryu Goji warned. Sensitive it was, because clones of the group immediately popped out.

"Whoa!!!" exclaimed Rodan 2000 and he quickly clicked the ABORT button. The clones disappeared. "Let's be a little more careful..." Suddenly, the machine made a few clicks and buzzes and whirs and there was a big puff of smoke. When it cleared, the machine was making copies of B-99 continuously.

"Uh-oh," said Godzilla Guy.

"Let's get out of here!" yelped Prince of Space.

"Yeah! And in case these guys come after us, we got the Eclipse Cannon," added Rodan 2000.

"You're really anxious to use that thing, aren't you?" asked Kiryu Goji. R2K simply smiled as he kept running away the rest of the gang. They finally got back to the club with the clones right on their tails.

"Readying the cannon, cap'n!" yelled Prince of Space as he turned it to face the door.

"Ready... aim... open the doors quick and fire!!!" Rodan 2000 instructed. Godzilla Guy and Kiryu Goji threw open the doors with a bang and the horde of clones came rushing in. Prince of Space held on tight to the cannon, with Rodan 2000 at the controls. He hit the switch and the powerful beam tore through the attackers. Within seconds, the entire army of them was vaporized. The beam was turned off and the air was silent once again until the sound of marching B-99 clones could be heard in the distance.

"On with the cannon, cap'n?" asked Prince with a mock pirate accent.

"Aye aye! Outward we go!!!" Rodan 2000 replied and the group all hopped into the seat and rolled it out the door to face the mob.

Note: The Eclipse Cannon depicted here is actually about the size of a tank, only a little smaller and with a much larger... uh... shooty thingy, which is the Cannon itself, mounted on all-terrain wheels.
The clones all came to attack the Jalepino Club as Heisei Mothra was walking by and saw all them.

"STOP, CLONES!" They all stopped. "I ORDER YOU TO SELF-DESTRUCT!" They walked off and smoke could be seen as they all did just that!


In his lab, Doctor Phish was running away from energy blasts, apparently coming from Goku's hands. Chemicals were knocked over but even worse, the Cartoonizer was going crazy. Bugs Bunny was chasing a carrot being led around by Bart Simpson, whom Taz was about to jump on. Hector Con Carne was mixing potions and Billy from GRIM AND EVIL were being absolutely crazy as Lisa Simpson tried to get some sense out of him. Then the 'toons escaped out the window and came pouring into the street.

Rodan 2000, Prince of Space, Kiryu Goji and Godzilla Guy were sitting on the Eclipse Cannon when the cartoons rushed them. Rodan hit the switch that said CARTOON MODE and fired the ray. It came out really cartoony and colorful, utterly destroying all the 'toons but nothing else. Once the beam had stopped, the Mods arrived and aimed their guns at the group on the cannon.

"You're ALL under arrest! Firstly, the group of clones here for cloning themselves and you for smuggling illegal weapons into the town! Step down with your hands up," one of the Mods ordered.

"Wait! It's not illegal," Rodan 2000 declared. "It's certified. Here." He held out a paper that stated 'This weapon is hereby allowed in Roostville by order of Sauron, Morgoth, and Saruman.'

"Oh, sorry..." said the Mods all together.

"Okay," said Prince of Space after a long pause. "Let's all go back to wherever we came from." There was a chorus of 'okays' and 'alrights'. Then everyone just left the scene and the gang went back into the Jalepino Club with the cannon. They were soon busy continually saying 'what do you want to do?' 'I don't know. What do you want to do?' until the door banged open. A fist hit Kiryu Goji and knocked him into the bathroom. Two hundred ALIEN creatures had come through the door. Their Leader addressed Rodan 2000.

"You have ten seconds to hand over your club!"

"Not if I can help it!" he replied. And with that, he and all the Jalepino Club members got in tanks, jets and underground snaggers to fight the Aliens which started an all-out war. All but Kiryu Goji, whose head was stuck in the sink, got into it until Rodan 2000 screamed that the Aliens had broken the rule. His shirt ripped and he transformed into RODAN 2000 THE HULK!

"I'll teach you to break my rules!" he screamed. The Aliens ran away in fright and Rodan 2000 shriveled back to normal size.


Desutoroia and Princess of Space were in a restaurant in Roostville. It was very romantic and they stared into each other's eyes until they were interrupted. A 'toon that had not been destroyed by the Eclipse Cannon flew in. It was Dumbo the Flying Elephant. People all stared as he flew around the restaurant with his ears flapping. Suddenly, a group of Mods came in with their guns drawn to try and stop Dumbo. This got Princess of Space and Lord K. into their very first argument.

"No! Don't shoot him just because he is animated a lot cooler than you!! Leave him alone! My brother used to be animated and so was I but you don't shoot us!" Lord K. got up.

"Err... dear, let them shoot it. It's just a cartoon after all!"

"Just a cartoon! I used to be just a cartoon but you still like me!"

"But you are a human now so let Dumbo get shot!" Lord K. decided to stop the argument and grabbed Princess of Space and tried to kiss her but she pulled away.

"I'm leaving! Me and you are NOT a couple!"

"No!" Lord K. called but Princess was already down the road. He threw a knife at someone before moodily leaving the restaurant. Princess of Space soon jumped through the window of the Jalepino Club.

"We have a door, you know," Rodan 2000 reminded her. Ignoring the remark, Princess went over to him.

"You'll do. Not as charming as Lord K, but much, much cuter. Marry me!" Rodan 2000's eyes widened.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" he screamed, then kicked Princess out of the club. She sat there on the curb, wondering why no one wanted to marry her until Lord K. came running up.

"Princess, I'm sorry. I didn't know how much Dumbo meant to you! I'm sorry. Will you take me back???"

"Oh, my lord, I will! You're the only one who has ever loved me!! I mean, I asked Super Jet Jaguar, Catbert, B-99, Kato Yasunori, Orga-99, Megaguirus, Space Varen, Sheriff Varan, Melkor, Earth Baragon, Sauron, Saruman, Morgoth, Ubergeek, Yongary, EGM, Gamingboy, Aqualla, Angillis 333, Dr. Phish, Andross, James D, GAMZILLA, Robert Ranting, Godzilla Guy, Kiryu Goji, and lastly, Rodan 2000. Some said 'no' countless times, some just looked at me, some screamed, some laughed. Melkor said 'yes' but he was drunk and as soon as he woke up the next day, he said 'no'. Will you take me back???"

"Oh, yes!!!" declared Lord K. and the two walked off together into the sunset.


Back at the Jalepino Club, they were all busy trying to get the idea of being married to Princess out of their heads and Prince of Space kept asking them if she really did propose to each of them.

"Did she really???" he asked Rodan 2000 again.

"Yes!!! But I said 'no' like any person in their right mind (except Desutoroia) would," he insisted.

"I'll agree with that," said Prince, along with Godzilla Guy and Kiryu Goji. Suddenly, the door burst open.

"Hey! You're the pizza thief from Gigan's Pizza!" Rodan 2000 exclaimed.

"Yeah, so what if I am?" the notorious Pizza Robber sneered.

"The Mods are looking for you. You tried to rob Lord K. and Princess," Kiryu Goji reminded him. At that, Lord K. came bursting through the door.

"You again?"

"You?" said the astonished Pizza Robber.

"You, you tried to rob our room at The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville! You will pay as now we shall fight in mortal combat to the death!" The thief snickered at Lord K.'s bravado.

"Remember that I have a gun!" He started rapidly pulling the trigger but Lord K. amazingly jumped, dodged, ran, skidded, crawled and escaped each and every bullet. The thief tossed the weapon aside when he realized he was out of ammo. "Now for my move!"

Lord K. was about to attack when Prince of Space said, "I could of done that!" and shrugged. Lord K was quickly upon the Pizza Robber and put him in a leg lock and began to mercilessly beat him. Rodan 2000 called 911 for the Mods and within minutes, they could be heard pulling up outside. Bursting in, they arrested the crook but before they could take him away, the doors flew open. In poured smoke and a whiney voice was heard.

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY PIZZA ROBBER!" who then started floating and soon was out the door. The voice whined again. "NOW I SHALL USE HIM TO TAKE OVER ROOSTVILLE!!!" It was lady K in Leviathan form. She and the Pizza Robber ran through the streets with the Mods in hot pursuit. All of a sudden, she stopped and turned back into Lady K, giving them time to catch up with her. They took her kicking and screaming to jail. The Pizza Robber giggled and ran to the nearest pizza place.

Chapter Five: OCTOBER 2012

The guys were hanging out when suddenly the doors were kicked open and security guards came in and started checking the place over. Kiryu Goji asked the nearest one what they were doing.

"Checking if this place is safe for the big celebrity about to come in," he explained.

"Tell us who!" the Jalepino Gang all said simultaneously.

"Well, I'll give you a clue. He or she has had plastic surgery!" They all were about to make their guesses answers when in walked Britney Spears! She was the celebrity with the face lift but of course, no one recognized her. To everyone at the club, she was Madonna.

"Madonna?" Rodan 2000 wondered. "In my club? No way!" Britney (aka Madonna the Fake) had invited every other celebrity and famous or rich millionaire she could think of to the Jalepino Club. Wes Craven, Justin Timberlake, Chad Kroeger, Ashton Kutcher, Evanescence, Patrick Stewart, Mariah Carey, Our Lady Peace, Swollen Members, Sean Connery, Mary Clarke Higgins, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Clive Barker, Doug Bradley, Tyra Banks, Pierce Brosnan, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Tim Burton, Steven Spielberg and Shusuke Kaneko were only a SMALL number of the well-known people she had invited.

"No," she said. "I'm Britney Spears," and pulled off a face mask.

"AAAAAAAAAAA, NO!" And yet again, another unwanted guest was kicked out with a large shoe mark on their rear. But the doors banged open again but it was Mr. and Mrs. Khandejifer. Lord K. had rushed back to the Club immediately when he heard that his favorite band, Our Lady Peace, was there. He was also surprised to run into Corey Taylor, the lead singer of SlipKnot and Ashley Olsen!!! But the doors were flung open again and another unwanted famous person entered: George Lucas!

"What's going on here?" asked Lord K.

"I don't know," admitted Rodan 2000. "Suddenly, we're having a whole bunch of celebs show up. Apparently, the news of the club being so popular got out and all these famous people from all over time showed up." Lord K. looked around and saw Jackie Chan, Troy Aikman, George Lucas, Pink Floyd and Jim Carrey all talking together. Then he noticed the Godfather, Steve Martin as Vinnie from MY BLUE HEAVEN and a few other Mafia guys playing pool. Then he saw the Olsen Twins, Christina Agular, Reece Witherspoon and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. There was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard and Alfred Hitcock sitting at the bar and Harry Turtledove, R.L. Stine, Mary Shelly and Brian Stoker at one of the tables.

"Wow!" said Lord K. "Who's playing as the band tonight?"

"I don't know. The bands are fighting in the back," Rodan admitted and pulled a curtain back to reveal SlipKnot, Led Zeppelin, Our Lady Peace and N*Sync duking it out. "I already sent the Backstreet Boys away," he added with a smile. "That is it! "EVERYONE OUT!!! he screamed. They just looked at him.

"Fine! I can't believe you don't want your club to be popular..."

"Hey, but if you ever need a scary story for Halloween, I'm the man to call!" R.L. Stine reminded him.

"Actually, I am," Stephen King said.

"And how about me?" Lemony Snicket asked and they all got into a fight.

"Hey, but if you need a cool place to chill, visit me at my house!" Madonna volunteered. "I've got enough of them!"

"Hey! How about my place? It's got cool stuff, too!" said Michael Jackson.

"You're all forgetting me!" Justin Timberlake yelled. Then Rodan 2000 turned back into Rodan 2000 the Hulk and they all ran out.

"Woot!" Kiryu Goji exclaimed. "That was bad..."

"No kidding!" Godzilla Guy said.

"Hey, that transformation was cool!" Kiryu insisted.

"Huh? What transformation?" Rodan 2000 wondered. He shuddered at the thought of going to Michael Jackson's house. All the celebrities had cleared out and he and the gang were left alone. Suddenly, heavy footsteps were heard outside. Tap tap tap they went down the street. The figure walked across the street and then came to the Jalepino Club. He opened the door and came in, dressed entirely in green with a green face mask.

"Rodan 2000?" the figure inquired.

"Yes?" R2K replied. The man then pulled out a gun and pointed it at him.

"I've come to assassinate you. You'll pay for taking the limelight from my nightclub! Your silly little club got all the guests! Prepare to die!" Then he pulled the trigger. Rodan 2000 suddenly dodged and ducked like in THE MATRIX, then punched the guy.

"Look across the street, moron!" suggested Rodan. All the celebrities from the Jalepino Club were outside the Assassin's Club, waiting in line to get in. The guy jumped for joy and ran out, quickly opening the place up and letting them all in. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion over there and everyone looked out to see the bad guys from Bat Man running around. The Jalepino Gang rolled their eyes and continued doing nothing until a bunch of villains decided to cause havoc in Roostville. Desutoroia transformed into LEVIATHAN! He chuckled evilly and approached the group, his eyes glowing yellow. They all backed off slowly as he giggled. The Joker and a bunch of other villains ran inside the Jalepino Club.

Enshohma had been dispatched to the explosion of the Assassin's Club across the street and seeing it was a total loss, radioed for the Roostville Fire Dep't. to come hose it down. Figuring it would take them a bit to get their act together (what with a motto like "SAVE THE LOT!"), one could pretty much be assured their response time wouldn't be all that swift. He decided to await them at the Jalepino Club. Inside, it appeared the denizens of the neighboring bar who were now without a hang-out had quickly found a new watering hole but might not necessarily 'mix' with the more laid back regulars. Reaching for his citation book, the Mod pulled out one of the many flyers circulating around town and proceeded to add it to the cluttered Schedule of Events board by the door:

HALLOWEEN PARTY at the East River City-Buster™ 8 PM til ?
Everyone invited - come as you are or as you wish you were.
  • Crash space will be available if you find yourself unable to get home safely.
  • Medical attention can also be provided (at extra cost).
With a warning to Leviathan and some grinning dude with green hair to settle their differences and sit down, Enshohma stomped out, hoping he'd be off duty in time to make the big soiree.

"Hey, let's go to the party!" suggested Kiryu Goji.

"Nah, I don't celebrate Halloween," said Rodan 2000.

"Look here! There's a mini-party for anyone who doesn't celebrate Halloween. We could go there," said Godzilla Guy, pointing to another posting on the board.

"Sure! The rest of you guys want to go?" asked R2K.

"Yeah! Let's go!" they all shouted. The guys left the club after R2K locked up and got in his Ferrari to head for the party. The villains were left looking blankly at the locked doors.

"What just happened here?" asked Captain Hook.

"I dunno..." another villain replied. With nothing better to do, they all decided to join the Assassin's Club and get it back in business again.

Chapter Six: THE ROOSTVILLE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL™

This event occurred Oct. 31, 2012, hosted by our favorite neighborhood Geekspawn. Creative/derivative chaos; say, an old-school George Romero Zombie Invasion™, local werewolf packs taking a holiday, the Freddy vs. Jason sequel, etc. were perfectly OK BUT a Hellspawn-scale threat (basically, anything potentially world/Roostville-levelling) would be saved for later. It took place at the East River, partially-Sunken 'Grey' City-Buster™.

An unseasonably cold wind whipped about the environs of Roostville, setting its multifarious inhabitants on edge. Above mountainous black clouds, the moon, in full Harvest Phase© despite the astronomical discrepancy, glowed a blood red. Within high-rise apartment, dank sewer, pitch dark forest and undersea lair alike, strange and terrible beings stirred. Overall, the atmosphere literally screamed "PARTY".

Sweeping practiced eyes about their surroundings, two such beings grinned with anticipation. Massive cobwebs and other unfathomable substances spread about the high ceiling, framing doorways and entangling a magnificent chandelier. Opaque mist, generated from tiny vents in wall and floor, drifted at ankle level, thinning to a permeable haze at eye level. Along two opposite walls, black-lit bars stretched into apparent infinity. Here and there, Lovecraftian shapes flitted about just beyond the limits of human vision, busy with final preparations. A great black monolith, bristling with upward curving spires, formed the centerpiece of this gothic keep. One being spoke, elegant eyes focused upon the monolith's bristling base.

"Hmm... You think we made the DJ booth a bit too pointy?"

"Nah. Long as the particle shield and Non-lethal Wards™ (bits of magically charged paper intended to repel demoniac beings) hold up, that shouldn't be a problem." A fuzzy chin was casually scratched. "Yep, Hangar 13 looks pretty much in order."

"How about the dungeons?"

"Torch-lit and packed with creepy-crawlies. And before you ask, I remembered to have them defanged this time."

"Just checking. Spare rooms?"

"Pimped out with Victorian, Ming, Sumerian Crypt - everything short of a Painting with Eye Holes™ in every boudoir."

"Refreshments?"

"Enough sugary goodness to mimic major hallucinogens."

"Funky Lighting™?"

"One moment." A clap and the room was thrown into kaleidoscopic madness as strobe-lights deployed from ceiling ports and chandelier alike. "Check."

"Music?" Another clap and great speakers began slamming out the bone-crushing rhythm of Rammstein™.

"All right, then we're good to go," declared Miyako. "I must say, this'll either be one helluva party or a serious budget write-off."

"True enough," agreed the Spawn of Kenny. "At least we saved a lot on promotion. That Auto-Fax™ program Yuri Manda hooked us up with should back up the e-mail nicely."

"OK, then. Shall we kick this beast off?"

"Ladies first," insisted Ubergeek. Relaxing for a moment, arms at her sides, Miyako closed her eyes and concentrated. The Morticia Addams-esque dress clinging to her shapely form sprouted a pair of bio-syntech "bat wings," great webbed pinions that jutted from between shoulder blades, then experimentally pumped, revealing their twelve foot span. Carefully shadowed eyelids raised, exposing feral gold irises. An open smile bared neatly elongated upper incisors. Suitably impressed, the Geek gawked for a moment. "Talk about vamping it up. That is one gorgeous image. Nice job modulating the Shift™, too."

"Thanks. Now let's see your stuff." In a haphazard transmutation of arms, legs and newly-sprouted tail, the Geekspawn assumed his 'costume' for the evening. The resulting monstrosity was a grotesque hybrid of primate and reptile form sporting a reptilian lower torso, great muscular foreclaws and a shaggy-maned head that was a dead ringer for the Mbwun™, star of the science fiction novel, THE RELIC. Miyako blinked.

"Now that's a Shift-modulation. Not exactly Fabio but it should work for this shin-dig." Uber shrugged, quite a motion for his hunched, broad-shouldered shape.

"Glad it passes inspection, milady. Now let's see what the ads scared up." Shuffling up to a wall by the hangar doors, Ubergeek pressed an organic-looking 'button' and stepped back as the great gateway, currently retrofitted to resemble a medieval portcullis, retracted. In just a moment, whoever or whatever (if anything) had decided to attend would have gained entrance and the party could begin.


The deadite leader snarled as he walked toward the party. Battrarules, also intent on enjoying his favorite time of the year, saw them coming. He snarled and took out his boom stick.

"Listen up, you primitive hay seeds! My name is Battrarules and don't make me angry." The deadites snarled back as they charged. The air was rent with the sound of gunfire as they tackled him.

"I warned you, you morons. Now you've done it!" He shifted into a new form he had never taken before. Ash Williams snarled as he sawed off limbs and fought the 20 deadites off him.

"Groovy!" He watched the last zombie come forth. BOOM! They were all dead as the party-goers came out.

"The Roostville chainsaw slash shotgun massacre just occurred. Where were you?"


Flyers were up all around town announcing THE HALLOWEEN PARTY at the East River City-Buster™. Moving to greet their first guests, Miyako and Uber were treated to an interesting tableau: Bruce Campbell (or at least a very convincing doppleganger), liberally festooned with the squishy remains of an undead troupe, concluding a pithy oath as he wiped clean the chainsaw that served as his right arm. Behind him, the other dozen visitors, edging away from the spreading pool of Deadite Detritus™, were getting a bit too close to the landing strip's edge. A quick elbow to the side drew Uber's immediate attention.

"Why don't I show our guests around and you can clean this up?" While lacking the hypnotic effect of an actual vampiress, Miyako's glare was 'persuasive' enough in its own right.

"Not a problem. Yo, Batty! How's it hangin'?" Inwardly relieved that Battrarules hadn't shown up as one of the many Slasher Kings™, Uber shuffled up to greet the blood-spattered bad boy of Roostville.

"It's all good, Geek. Just took out some trash. Where's the swag?" Clapping a taloned paw on his shoulder, the ape/herp hybrid pointed him in the bar's direction.

"There be refreshments. Drink up 'cause we're just getting started." With a satisfied grunt, Battrarules left Uber to his janitorial duties which consisted of gazing about at the assorted Deadite Bits©, clapping a paw over his nose, then hosing said bits off the landing strip and into the brine some 1200 feet below. Fell hisses sounded as the East River's inhabitants protested this pollution but fortunately, none were sentient enough to file a protest with City Hall.


The monster Pinhead, having heard that Battrarules had massacred his deadites, turned to Leatherface.

"Time to send in the big guns." Leatherface pressed a red button and a Creeper went flying towards the party.

Chapter Seven: A PSYCHIC MOVES TO ROOSTVILLE

Meanwhile in the Ferrari, Rodan 2000 turned round to talk to his buddies.

"Hey! Focus on your driving!" Prince of Space squawked. The car crashed into a lorry and was sent spinning into the woods. A figure hopped out of the truck, giggled, and used his map of the woods to make a quick getaway.

"Oh, darn," Godzilla Guy groaned.

"This sucks," agreed Prince. Quickly, Godzilla Guy pulled out a forest map.

"Here. I got this last week..." He then explained the whole story.

"A gypsy woman drove into town in her old rusty Jeep with items sticking out from the boot and the back. She had been to every town she could find and still her business was down. She finally saw a sign saying ROOSTVILLE 10 MILES AHEAD.

"Even though she had never heard of Roostville, she decided to give it a go, thinking her business might improve there. She drove into town where she was welcomed by an angry Lord Khandejifer who was throwing blades everywhere. One shot through her window and out the back. She drove past the Jalepino Club, parked and began setting up her multi-colored psychic tent with a sign out front and waited.

$5 TO HAVE YOUR FUTURE READ!!!

"I went in the tent with a $5 note, gave it to her and sat down."

"Welcome. To have your future read, you understand that the knowledge that is about to befall you may be good or it may be bad?"

"Yes," I said.

"Now how long into your future do you wish to see?" she asked.

"Erm... let's say two years." The woman closed her eyes and a vision came to her.

"I see you walking down the street, holding hands with -."

"Actually, I don't think I really want to know that... Let's say, one week." The lady nodded and started again.

"I see you lost in a forest with those known as Kiryu Goji, Rodan 2000, Lord Khandejifer, Prince of Space. I see a beast, a hairy beast, come out and strike down Rodan 2000 and kill him. I see the beast advancing for Lord Khandejifer and striking him down, too. I see you and Prince of Space running out of ze forest but getting lost until the end of a week's time... Whether you stay trapped or not I cannot tell you," she said.

"She gave such clear images that I went to go get a forest map!" Godzilla Guy explained. Then she drew the tent flap back and saw the beast. And Rodan 2000 and Lord K. with a few bumps on their heads, chasing it. Rodan swooped in and smacked it good and Lord K. raised his swords.

"Time to go to the zoo, big guy!" he said. Then Rodan 2000 came over.

"Hey, do you have any cursed video games or something?" She was about to answer when out of the forest came Old Man Billy Martin who lives in a shoe box. He came stomping and clomping down the mountainside and out of the forest, perhaps for a trip to the mall.

"Hey. Did you see a flying rock go by?" Billy Martin asked. His voice sounded very much like the cartoon voice for the overweight mummy in the cartoon MUMMIES ALIVE.

"No. Why?" R2K asked.

"Arghhh.. That's not important." Old Man Billy Martin then ran off again.

"That was strange," said Rodan 2000.

"Nah. I've seen stranger. But old hoboes asking about flying rocks is a little odd," Lord K. agreed. Rodan 2000 then turned to the gypsy woman.

"Well?" he asked. "No cursed video games? How about a cursed video tape? Hehehehe." But luckily, Lord K. had seen RINGU and its crappy American counterpart, THE RING, and he convinced R2K to not buy the cursed video tape. Desutoroia was about to walk off and leave when the old gypsy lady asked him if he would allow her to read, or see, into his future. Desu knew it was wrong but put his hand out to the lady. She took his hand and closed her eyes, then started muttering something, as if she was saying a spell. But soon, she was screaming nonsense like a wild animal or an insane man! She held Desu's hand tightly and wouldn't let him go from her clutches. Then Rodan 2000 was able to pull her off him. When he did so, her screaming stopped.

"What was it that you saw?" Desutoroia asked.

She just looked at him with hatred in her eyes but said in an almost scared voice, "I saw death... destruction... disloyalty... hate... sorrow... and misery..." Desutoroia just disregarded everything she said and walked off as he had planned to before she asked to see into his future.

"But I also saw a tiny bit of hope... and love that's worth it all," she said. However, Desutoroia thought the old hag was nothing but a liar and a thief."


Minsc also decided to get his fortune told. He paid his five dollars and the gypsy said that the following would happen:

Of course, Minsc though nothing of all this as he knew that nothing could stop the mighty Minsc. When he got home, he was a little hungry so he decided to get something to eat. He went into the kitchen and opened the 'fridge but the little light didn't come on and it didn't feel cold. Something must have happened to it. He looked behind the 'fridge and saw that something had chewed through the wire. Minsc decided to pull out the 'fridge out to get a better look.

Apparently, Rado had put a lot of stuff in the freezer the night before and the 'fridge was top-heavy. It fell over right on top of Minsc. Luckily, the floor didn't give way. The berserker lay there for a minute, then pushed it back upright. Minsc then saw the problem when he went back out in the living room. A mouse was running around and chomping on wires to Rado's computer.

"There you are, you stupid rodent!" Minsc said and grabbed at the mouse but got the computer wires instead which shocked the berserker. He saw the mouse run into a hole in the wall and decided to leave a mouse trap in the corner near the wire to the lamp.

When the mouse came out, it went around the mouse trap and began to chew on the cord instead. Minsc looked at the mouse and stuck his nose in closer, which hit the mouse trap. It sprung and trapped his nose.

"Stupid Bouse!" he said, his nose pinched in the mouse trap. The mouse ran off again. "You hab dot seed da last ob Binsc!" He finally got the mouse trap off of his nose and let Boo loose to hunt down the mouse. The hunt was a success and Boo brought the mouse out. Minsc was relieved that it was finally over and thought back to what the gypsy said and noticed everything came true!

He was crushed by the refrigerator, electrocuted and temporarily lost his sense of smell when the mouse trap pinched his nose. He noticed, however, that nothing smaller than him had defeated him. The mouse had been defeated by Minsc, which was quite the opposite. Relieved that the whole escapade was over, he settled down to play a quick game of Battleship with Boo. The hamster squeaked.

"What?" Minsc asked. "B-5? No! You... sunk my battleship! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Minsc screamed as the gypsy's prophesy came true.


The Jalepino Gang gasped in horror at the big hairy beast. It had clonked Rodan 2000 on the head, knocking him out. He clonked Lord K. on the head also. Kiryu Goji fainted and Godzilla Guy and Prince of Space ran off into the forest. Old man Billy Martin came stomping and clomping down the mountainside.

"Hey. Did you see a flying rock go by?" he asked.

"No. Why?" R2K asked.

"Arghhh.. That's not important." Old Man Billy Martin then ran off again.

"That was strange," said Rodan 2000.

"Nah. I've seen stranger. But old hoboes asking about flying rocks is a little odd," Lord K. agreed.

"Maybe some other time. Right now, we need to get out of this forest. MAYBE we can still make the party at Ubergeek's," R2K figured.


After walking for a while into the forest on his own, Desutoroia could hear the sound of UFOs hovering. He looked up but saw nothing... Then suddenly, a large shadow overtook him. He could barely make out what appeared to a UFO, covered in millions of years' worth of rock and stone. It hovered just overhead.

"A Millennian Orga saucer," he muttered under his breath. "So that's what the old man was talking about when he asked about flying rocks... Orga..." The UFO then flew off. As Desutoroia reached a clearing in the forest, he could see thousands, or hundreds of Millennian space craft hovering over the mountains and forests, miles away from civilization. He then heard the cracking sound of footsteps on sticks as the gypsy woman ran up to him.

"Quick! I see the UFO's! You must come to my tent!" Desutoroia ran with her, knowing that Roostville might be on the verge of being totally destroyed. When he looked into her crystal ball, it had strange images of a devastated Roostville.

"We must stop this terrible future!" he told her. A voice came from the crystal ball. It was Desutoroia from the future. He was running through the streets of the destroyed city, yelling for help.

"Is anyone there?!" he cried out. "Any survivors?! Please, someone answer me!" He tripped and fell headlong onto the ground and laid there sobbing. Finally, he sat up, tears filling his eyes as he began to talk to himself.

"This war. This War of the Cosmos. It's brought the end of the world. It has brought the true apocalypse. Now I'm the only one left. All alone. The War of the Cosmos." He began sobbing again and collapsed in a heap.

Desutoroia looked away from the horrible sight.

"This has to be stopped. We can't let this happen."


"We'll never find the car!" figured Kiryu Goji who had come out of the forest.

"Ahh, we'll find it."

"That's what you said a week ago. We're really lost this time, Rodan," Prince of Space declared.

Chapter Eight: ZAX, THE KING OF DARKNESS

They walked out into a clearing and saw the car, right where they had left it.

"Ohhh, that's where I left it..." Rodan 2000 sheepishly admitted. They all hopped in and looked at the calender in the dashboard. Realizing that it was now November 7th, they figured that the Halloween party was probably over. Quickly, they drove back to Roostville. Godzilla Guy suggested they look up the gypsy and tell her that what she saw had happened.


Back at the Jalepino Club, they went inside and saw Zax, the King of Darkness, stealing all the supplies. When he turned around, he blushed.

"Sorry. I didn't know..." R2K rolled his eyes.

"Out of my club!!! he ordered.

"Don't you know who I am!?" Zax demanded. Godzilla Guy shook his head and Rodan shrugged. Lord K. shook his head as the 'no's' made the rounds. Zax leaped onto a chair and proclaimed, "I am Zax, King of All Things Evil!!!" Rodan 2000 shrugged.

"That's it! Prepare for your doom...!" Rodan whipped out his Light Speed medallion and turned into Light Speed Rodan. He roared at Zax and charged with a Thunder Rumble, letting out a few Ripple Shockwaves as he went. Zax was flung into the wall,and hit the floor hard. He slowly stood up.

"That's it for now but I'll be back! ha ha ha!" And with that, he ran out.

"Boy, the things that happen around here..." muttered R2K, morphing back to regular form. "Wonder what that was all about..." The gang broke out some sodas and flipped on the big screen TV. As they surfed through the channels, the door burst open and in came Zax again.

"I am back!" Rodan sighed. "No, do not worry! I am no longer here to cause chaos or steal your supplies. I am merely here to take your concept ideas of what makes a good club!" Zax then caught himself. "Oh man. I shouldn't of said that!" Quickly, he got out his time traveling device but before R2K could shout 'No time traveling!", Zax had already gone 20 seconds into the past.

Zax was about to push the door open to the bar when suddenly, something seemed familiar. Then he remembered: "Don't say 'plan', don't say 'plan'!" he reminded himself. He pushed the doors open. Zax again.

"I am back!" Rodan sighed. "No, do not worry! I am no longer here to cause chaos or steal your supplies. I am merely here to... to... to watch TV!" As he stared at the screen, he began to go into convulsions, laying on the floor and spazzing out as Rodan 2000 rolled his eyes. He didn't have to turn around to see what was making Zax convulse: it was his own defense device of playing the long-lost episode of POKEMON that made people have spasms when they saw it. He had installed it into the TV. All he had to do was press a button and it would come on. Any villain stupid enough to keep looking at it would quickly be defeated. He looked down at the almighty "King of Darkness" rolling on the floor, drooling.

"I knew that would come in handy!" he smiled as he threw the vibrating body of Zax out the door and turned the TV back to MST3K. Suddenly, the door burst open again.

"It better not be who I think it is..." Rodan 2000 growled, a light glowing in the back of his throat as he charged up an Atomic Fire beam...

Zax came in but this time he was prepared. He used his shields and threw them at the TV, smashing it. Then he leaped onto a table.

"I will go to evil methods if you insist on being aggressive to me! Be warned!" Suddenly, the Princess of Space came in, crying. When she saw Zax, she had a flashback:

A motel in Canada. A sunset. Her and her boyfriend. Sitting there on the beach, watching the sunset. Zax came and demanded money. Her boyfriend stood up for her. He went for the mugger but Zax threw him into the sea with his lightning-sharp moves. Princess watched but when he came out of the water, another girl came up to him and they went back to the town together. She never saw him again.

Princess ran out of the club, screaming.

"Hey, at least you're good for one thing..." Rodan 2000 figured. But suddenly, Princess was back.

"You!" she said.

"You!" said Zax.

"You!"

"So, it is you..." admitted Zax.

"That's right."

"So?..." asked Rodan 2000. "I think we've established who we all are..."

"Shut up!" ordered Zax. "I think we're getting ready to do something... like getting ready to finally get rid of this annoying little girl!" He drew his detonator weapon.

"Hey, isn't that a little extreme?" R2K asked.

"Well, maybe..." Zax still gripped his device tightly. "Who thinks I should detonate the little girl?" The votes came pouring in.

"No, because the mess would stink up the club," declared Kiryu Goji.

"Although she already does..." laughed Prince of Space.

"Heyyyy..." protested Princess. Just then, Desutoroia came running in.

"Hey, what're you doing with my girl?!" he yelled.

"Your girl?" sneered Zax. "Blech!"

"That's what I said!" Rodan 2000 snorted.

Lord K. was about to fight Zax when Princess announced, "We broke up! How dare you call me your girl!" and moaned.

"Oh, what the heck!" Zax pulled the trigger and time froze.

A creature stepped out of a rip in time and said, "Oops, wrong place..." stepped back into the rip and time returned to normal. The bullet Zax had fired fell to the ground and everyone looked around, confused.

"What just happened?" asked Rodan 2000.

"I don't know," admitted Kiryu.

"That's it!" yelled Zax as he pulled the trigger again. Lord K. jumped in front of bullet but nothing came out.

"Blast it! Out of bullets..."

"Oh, man! No bullets." Rodan 2000 decided to make a new rule: NO KILLING as Princess of Space ran out the club when they heard someone shouting.

"Zax, I'll murder you for trying to murder my girlfreind!" In came Space Varen.

"Alright, alright! Everybody who's thinking about fighting or killing, out of the club. If we have a grudge match to settle, let's do it proper: AT THE COLOSSEUM, shall we?" R2K shouted. He closed the club as they all got into their cars to go to the big Roostville arena.

"Okay," declared R2K, who would be refereeing the battle. "You guys know the rules. No weapons, no below-the-belt punches and no teaming up on the ref. Let's have a good clean fight, and have fun."

"Zax is the King of Darkness! He doesn't fight clean..." Zax muttered as he stepped into the ring that had been set up.


Meanwhile, Desu had caught up with Princess.

"Princess! Wait! Come back! I love you! I do care about Dumbo!" he yelled as she continued walking rapidly. Suddenly, she stopped and faced him.

"No, Desu. Space Varen loves me. I think it's over with us. I'm gonna have to try it with Space Varen."

"But why? I love you more!"

"Well, my psychiatrist said that I have separation anxiety and that I should stay out of relationships for a while to get over it. But then I met Space Varen..."

"But, Princess... I'm better than that loser!"

"I'm sorry. It's over." She left and he got down on his knees and wept until a voice began to sound in the back of his mind.

"Desutoroia... now you see the troubles with these humans?" He nodded to the deep whispering voice. "Now will you come to serve me again?" Again, he nodded.

"Yes, my lord Leviathan. I will serve you once more." His eyes dried and turned red all of a sudden.

"Good!" he said as one with Leviathan. "Now I shall bring chaos to this world!"


Zax had also picked up Leviathan's message. "Too late! That's already what I'm trying to do!!! I beat you to it! HA HA HA HA!" Everyone looked confused as no one else was hearing voices in their head. Only Zax had heard the shout and blushed before returning to the fight again. Space Varen ran at him with his arm outstretched.

"Take this!!!" he shouted but Zax dodged and got out his laser beam.

"Hey!" the ref shouted.

"Zax is contained by no one!" he screamed.

Chapter Nine: THE COUNCIL OF DEATH

"Desutoroia... is doomed," declared the voice of a powerful evil.

"So begins his destruction," said another.

"For he is the only one who can stand in our way."

"Just as Hozay Nissen fell to us," said the voice of another. "This Desutoroia will also fall, in a more tragic way."

"But what if the Leviathan's powers are not strong enough to defeat Desutoroia?"

"If they were enough to banish his own son, The Blue Devil, from the depths of Hell, his powers should be able to manipulate him to our side before he meets his fate!"

"But if Leviathan fails to dispose of the Lord and his Lady, we must counteract! Or else the Prophecy of Roostville... could be fulfilled."

"The death of Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer is inevitable..."

"But as a precaution, I recommend summoning Hozay Nissen to the stand."

"Yes... Hozay Nissen, the Hellspawn. Our pet would make sure work of Desutoroia. After all, we did train him in the arts of evil..."

"Hellspawn? He's treacherous."

"Silence! He proved himself loyal when he founded the Todd McFarlane Cult to bring servants to our side, and to our cause."

"Then I make vision, based on the Prophecy of Roostville... Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer will die by Hellspawn's hands in July of 2014 if Leviathan fails his task."

"But how can the supreme God of Hell, and Lord of it's Labyrinth, fail at anything?"

"Because anything can happen when the fates are undecided!"


"Yes, haha. You think you can keep me from using weapons? I'm Zax, King of Darkness! I cannot be beaten or controlled! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Zax yelled insanely but Space Varen punched him while he was busy laughing. "Ow!" he yelled, then toppled over.

"And that ends that," declared Space Varen, his hard voice emotionless.

"And so it does. Well, take him back to the club. Let's wake him up and tend to his needs," suggested Rodan 2000.

"Why? Isn't he the bad guy?" asked Prince of Space.

"Umm... why not?"

"Okay," the others finally agreed in unison.


Meanwhile, Desutoroia had gone on a rampage. He stole a car and drove to the mall by Melkor's estate to terrorize the place. Things were thrown around and mannequins smashed with the superhuman strength granted him by Leviathan. A few Mods tried to stop him with their guns but he made short work of their weapons with his blades.

"No one will stop me now!" he yelled, his voice in tune with Leviathan's.


"I still feel bad about leaving Desu. He was so heart broken when I left him," Princess of Space said softly as she sat in the car with Space Varen.

"Why feel sorry? That guy's a TV star. And losers get whatever they want. I'm just glad to see him get what he deserves finally: the word 'no'," Varen sneered, and he meant it. He had never before had anything against Desu. They had even been good friends before he got into the TV business. That was when he started snubbing Varen who stopped hanging around with him. They still got together once in a while but Varen just felt this way about all stars and celebrities, no matter if they had been his friend before or not.

"You could be a little sympathetic, Varen. He was my boyfriend..." Princess reminded him, a little angrily.

"Don't worry, doll. I care about you. And if I say things like that, you just tell me. I'm sorry." He wasn't really but just wanted this girl. She was his now and he was going to keep her at all costs.

"Thanks, spacey wasey," she said. They drove on, unaware of what had happened to Desutoroia.


Desu burst into the Jalepino Club where Zax was still asleep after the big fight.

"WHERE'S SPACE VAREN?" he yelled.

"He and Princess drove to his place after the fight. Are you sure you're okay?" asked Kiryu Goji.

"I'M FINE. IN FACT, I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER. I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS POWERFUL, AND THIS POWER MUST BE PUT TO GOOD USE! IT'S TIME FOR SOME DEATH!!!" he yelled.

"That's not always a good thing..." remarked Rodan 2000.

"I MUST CRUSH SPACE VAREN!" Desu yelled, ready to storm off.

"Now that's really not a good thing..." agreed Prince of Space. "I don't like Space Freak dating my sister but I don't exactly want to see him 'crushed'." He obviously wasn't fond of Space Varen either.

"We better call and warn him," suggested R2K, walking toward the phone. Suddenly, Zax woke up.

"Where am I? Who am I? What am I doing here?" he yelled. Zax had awakened with a severe memory loss. He looked up at Desutoroia and began to recall some of his past. He had known Desutoroia and Hozay before in Maser City where Zax was the mob boss.

"I... I remember who I am now!" Zax realized. He clinched his fist as it pulsated with energy that glowed with an orange aura of light. He smiled evilly. "HehehehehehahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA! I did a good number on my servants before," he said without compassion. "Taste the lightning." Zax, for his own amusement, shot a bolt from his hand at the already possessed Desutoroia but it failed to harm him as he stood tall and proud. "What?!" Zax demanded. "Who are you?" he asked, unsure of anything anymore.

"Your worst nightmare, Zax," said a demonic voice from all around the room.

"That's a pretty spooky effect you created, Desu," Rodan 2000 remarked.

"This is no mere effect!" Desutoroia shouted, speaking simultaneously with Lord Leviathan's voice. Negative energy with a purple aura came blasting from Zax's body and concealed him within a cage of evil magic.

"This should hold you, whatever you are, demon!" Zax yelled. "For I have a rodent named Space Varen to find! And a woman named Princess of Space to destroy!" As Zax walked off, he blasted at the Prince of Space, knocking him into a state on unconsciousness. "That'll teach one to mess with Zax, King of Darkness!" As Desutoroia lay in his cage, the powers of Leviathan left his body and the energy field around him vanished.

"He sure did a number on you..." Rodan 2000 commented.

"Heh. It's always us sexy TV stars who get the stuffing beat out of us," Desutoroia grinned.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said. "Now, where's Princess? I must find her."

"But I thought you didn't..."

"Never mind the stuff I may have said in the past. I wasn't complete until I met her. I can't lose her now. I just can't!"

"Mark this moment well," said the voice of a demon watching over them from an alternate dimension called the Nightmare Realm. "For when Desutoroia eliminates Space Varen, he takes the first step toward his own destruction!" As soon as Desu had left, Kiryu Goji piped up.

"I'm getting a funny feeling about this. Desu isn't the kind of guy to say he's off to kill somebody and then say he can't lose a girl. It all seems strange, especially Desu talking in all caps!"

"Yeah, that is strange. We better stop him. To the Ferrari!" Godzilla Guy shouted.

"No, the Ferrari isn't fast enough. We also want to stop Zax as well. Let's take the Jalepinomobile!" Rodan 2000 suggested.

"Wait, what's that?" asked Kiryu hesitantly. R2K led them to the garage and pulled a sheet off from something underneath. It was a car in the shape of giant Jalepino laying on its side, with wheels protruding from the bottom. The windshield spanned over the top to the bottom, giving a cockpit-like feel to the interior. "Let's go, then!" yelled Kiryu and they all piled in.

"Time to party!" Rodan 2000 said as they sped off, fire blasting from the pipe in the back, shaped like the stem of a pepper. They quickly overtook Zax and Desu and soon arrived at Space Varen's house, ready to stop any and all from attacking the people within. It wasn't long before Zax arrived, ready for combat.

"Okay, now let's not get hasty and do anything rash..." warned Rodan 2000 calmly.

"Out of the way, punk! Don't make me hurt you!" yelled Zax.

"Hey, c'mon! Is this any way to talk with a happy couple inside?" asked Rodan in a quiet voice.

"Oh. All right," whispered Zax. "So. How do you wanna settle this? Easy, or hard?"

"Cant we all just get along?" asked Kiryu pleadingly.

"No, I'm here to destroy the happy couple!" whispered Zax.

"But why do want to do that?" asked Godzilla Guy. He knew Zax well.

"Why do you wanna know?" replied Zax suspiciously.

"Was it something someone said?"

"What are you doing?"

"Was it in your childhood?"

"I'm not gonna fall for this!"

"Was it... something about your father?!"

"YES! I didn't have a father! Now I want one and I can't have one and that makes me sad and I try to shift my sadness to anger. And then I try to satisfy my anger with violence!" Zax began crying uncontrollably.

"You gonna be okay? You need a tissue?" asked Kiryu.

"No, I'll be alright. I'll be at the Jalepino Club..." he sadly walked off.

"Well, that ends that..." figured R2K. "Now to deal with Desu..." He gestured toward the figure coming toward them.

"Out of my way, guy. I don't want any trouble. I gotta do what I gotta do," Desu said.

"Neither do we. That's why we're here. We can't let you kill/murder/insanely maim Space Varen," Godzilla Guy insisted.

"Wait! What makes you think I would do that?!" asked Desu, confused.

"You were saying that you had to crush Space Varen..." Rodan 2000 reminded him.

"When did I say that?! Anyways, I'm not here for anything violent. I just have to tell Princess how much I love her," said Desu.

"Ohhhhhh!" said Rodan 2000, Godzilla Guy and Kiryu Goji simultaneously.

"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!" yelled the demon from the Nightmare Realm.

"There's that strange voice again..." mused Kiryu Goji.

"Well, if it's just a message of love, then by all means, go ahead," grinned Rodan 2000. Suddenly, Space Varen and Princess drove up in his car.

"What are you doing here, ya sissy TV star!?" asked Varen in a demanding voice. Rodan and friends looked back and forth from the door to the house to the couple in the car.

"I could've sworn they were in there..." said Godzilla Guy. Desu began to tremble with the words 'sissy TV star' and once again, his eyes turned red.

"WHO YOU CALLING A SISSY, SPACE FREAK?!" he asked.

"Uh-oh! All caps again..." warned Kiryu as Desu began to renew his rampage.

"Hey, wait, Lord K! Stop!" yelled Rodan 2000.

"You think I'm gonna let you call me a freak in front of MY girl?! Do you, wimpy boy?" yelled Space Varen in Desu's face.

"No, Lord K. my Lord! Don't!" yelled Princess of Space, sobbing.

"There's no need to cry, woman. My path is chosen, the path to ruin..." Leviathan said through Lord K. Not even the Princess could bring him back this time. "This man's path I've also chosen! The path of sudden death!" Lord K. turned to Space Varen, punching him so hard he went slamming into the wall of his house. Varen felt the anger surge inside of him. His eyes turned red and suddenly, he transformed into the creature who he was known for: the giant monster Space Varen.

"HAH! ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER!" yelled Lord K. as he transformed into Neo-Destroyah! They quickly locked claws in combat. Readying themselves, the two monsters charged up their blasts. Electricity and micro-oxygen spray met with disastrous results and both were sent flying. Neo-Des looked out of the wreckage he had been thrown into to see an airborne Space Varen leaping at him. Quickly slicing at him with a nose horn energy swipe, the demonic beast stumbled to his feet. Varen stood on his hind legs, ready. Neo-Des charged but the giant space creature whirled around and launched himself backwards, striking the crimson terror with his diamond-studded backside. The two collapsed in a heap and grappled to get on top. Before any more destruction could be caused, Sauron arrived in a large robot suit.

"Halt, monsters! There shall be no more destruction!" Raising a humongous sword, he called again over the loud speaker. "IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!" Without a second thought, the mindless Desutoroia in his gigantic demon form roared and leapt for the robot. Desperately trying to tackle him, Space Varen went for his enemy. The two crashed into Sauron but the mighty Dark Lord sprang to his feet from under the dog pile, sending the others flying. Two other Dark Lords appeared on the horizon with their robot suits activated.

"No one attacks a Dark Lord and lives to tell about it," mumbled Sauron, swinging his sword in a wide arch and bringing it down on the ground with a crashing boom. Raising it again, he yelled, "Time to die!" and all three of the Dark Lords charged.

Battrarules had also arrived but stayed in the shadows. When he saw Desutoroia transform into Leviathan, he morphed into a mixture of Gyaos, Gamera and Irys to unleash his true killing power. Desutoroia raced toward him but was grabbed by tentacles. Battrarules blasted sonic fire balls that tore great weeping wounds in his attacker. He released several guttural sounds that could be laughter as he threw the now human-sized Desu at the Dark Lords before being doubled over by the delayed effects of a micro-oxygen blast. As he turned around, his pain was raw but to him, it was POWER! Space Varen ducked the sonic fire balls that blasted great holes in the ground, then tackled Battrarules. The monster made the temperature of his body rise, burning him half to death. They fell and Battrarules shifted to his regular form, levitating the two over to the Dark Lords.

"There you go. You idiots didn't even have to do any work. Sayonara, stupido!" He flew off as the battle had ended. There was utter confusion among the spectators.

"What just happened here?" Godzilla Guy asked.

"Well, there were two... then there were three... then four... then three... then none?" Rodan 2000 volunteered hopelessly. Desutoroia and Space Varen were both wondering what had happened.

"That fool Battrarules shouldn't of butted in!" Lord K. growled, now in between himself and Leviathan. "I know! Let's kill him!" Suddenly, Space Varen and Lord K. merged to create the Lord of Space, Vajifer who flew off to destroy Battrarules.

"Should we follow them? Or him?" Rodan asked.

"I don't know. We couldn't keep up anyway. Maybe we should just head back to the club," Godzilla Guy suggested.

"Hey, I have a telescope there. We could watch the battle!" Rodan 2000 suddenly recalled.


Meanwhile at the Jalepino Club, Zax was doing what he had went there for the first time: to steal stuff.

Chapter Ten: INVASION FORCE

Along the coast, there came a fleet of warships. They studded the coast, waiting for a chance to attack. At any moment, they were prepared to begin an all-out invasion. At the prow of the largest of them stood a horrible creature, Super Godzilla Fan. He stood proud on his mighty ship, the lead vessel of the destructive fleet when a robot came up to him.

"Lord Godzilla Fan, the ships are ready for the attack. Shall you give the order?" the robot asked. Super Godzilla Fan looked back upon his legions of robots, the army to accompany the fleet.

"Yes. Bring these tubs onto land. Let's bring this place to its knees..." he said and began to laugh. The ships began to tremble, then rose a bit as crab-like legs sprouted from their bases. Walking inland, they began a scourge of destruction, crawling nearer toward where the battle between Lord Vajifer and Battrarules was about to take place.


"I'd like you to know that just because we've fused into one, I still hate you," said Space Varen to Desu, who had regained control of himself.

"Watch your mouth, Space Freak! I still have some scores to settle with you over Princess' honor," he reminded his 'partner'.

"What for? Princess of Space loves ME, not you, has been!" Space Varen insisted.

"Just shut up and let's get this over with..." groaned Desu. "I wanna get Battrarules out of the way so I can finish with the big fish here." There was a loud explosion nearby.


"What in blazes was that?!" yelled Saruman, back in Roostville. While looking up where the disturbance had been, another explosion was heard.

"My gosh, no..." muttered Morgoth. "Super Godzilla Fan is attacking!"

"Fools!" yelled the tyrant over a loudspeaker on the ships. "You will bow to me before this day is done!" Super Godzilla Fan launched another shot from his cannons.

"He'll never win! He should know that..." muttered Sauron.

"Take a look!" frowned Morgoth. The rest of the fleet had showed themselves behind the flagship. The Dark Lords held a brief council of war.

"He has become very powerful," noted Sauron. "Can we really defeat all those ships?"

"We must try. The fate of the world could be at stake. The Spammerite must be stopped!" declared Morgoth bravely.

"He always was the most cunning of all of them," recalled Saruman. "We better watch ourselves."

"True enough," stated Morgoth. "Nonetheless, we must do our best to stop him." Another cannon blast resounded, this one nearer than the others.

"You shall fall before us, like the wind before the mountain!" yelled Morgoth heroically.

"No need for metaphors, old man. No need for heroes either as neither will help you," bellowed SGF.

"Only if we can't do anything!" replied Lord Vajifer. "And two are always better than one!" he added, splitting back into Space Varen (monster form) and Neo-Destroyah.

"This ends now!" finished Desu.


Battrarules had seen what was going on and decided to add his share of fighting to the hero side, ready to defend his island from a Spammerite attack.

"Count me in, Spammy!" he taunted.

"It seems I have my work cut out for me. So let me just cut it up!" yelled SGF, launching a large barrage of cannon blasts.

"CHARGE!" yelled Morgoth after the Dark Lords had donned their Roostville Robot suits. The forces collided and huge explosions rocked the field of battle as the fleet turned its guns on the advancing giant robots. The Dark Lords surrounded Super Godzilla Fan's ship, first attacking it with their hand beams. He returned fire with his cannons, knocking them down but they would simply stand back up and continue blasting at him.

Neo Destroyah lumbered between the rows of ships, blasting at them with his micro-oxygen and slicing some through with his horn sword. Space Varen literally leapt through the fleet, taking long jumps from ship to ship, crushing them underfoot and blasting them with his electric blast. While attacking, he continually taunted them.

"Ha! Is that the best you can do? I can even destroy you with my eyes closed! Watch!" he yelled, shutting his eyes but still dodging three cannon blasts. Turning an acrobatic spin in mid-air, he slammed into another ship, smashing it utterly.

Battrarules had stayed human size and was speeding through a ship, slamming through the walls until he found the source of its power. Then he would concentrate all his attacks on it.

Super Godzilla Fan looked out at the wreckage the monsters were causing. "RETREAT! RETREAT!" he yelled to the troops. "Time to take this battle to MY territory..." he mumbled. He still had some tricks up his sleeve.

As Battrarules moved through the area, he saw about twenty robots appear before him. Roaring, he transformed into a human-size Gamera and began battering his way through them but they slowly were surrounding him. He released his fire balls and blasted apart six of them. The remaining eight had gotten up on his shell so he retracted his legs and burned them to slag. He then sent out a psychic summons and Battra King appeared almost instantly.

His apprentice was filled in and the two prepared to force their way to the heart of the invasion fleet. This would not be easy as the ships had crawled back to sea but the monsters kept after them. In the water the ships had a definite advantage. Their crawling spider-like legs turned into metallic tentacles, sweeping through the water and flailing to hit their opponents.

Space Varen was unaffected because he was able to fly from ship to ship, smashing them and raining down his corona beam. Neo Destroyah was too massive to be affected by the smaller ships' tentacles. Battrarules and Battra King were only human size but ran back and forth on the ships, though besieged by the robots.

Neo Destroyah lumbered through the armada, smashing any ships in his path and showering the rest with his beams. He cleared his way through the wreckage and found himself in front of the flagship which was extraordinary in size. It was much taller even than Neo Des, one of the tallest monsters.

Super Godzilla Fan looked over the rail at the monster approaching. Neo gazed up into the eyes of the Spammerite and spewed forth his micro-oxygen spray. The Spammerite king dove from the deck into the interior of his ship where it was safe from the monster's beams, at least for now. He hadn't expected the two main monsters to have this much of an advantage in water. This battle was steadily going downhill. Quickly, he manned the tentacle control and grasped the Dark Lords in one of the huge appendages. They were in trouble as he held them high in the air.

"Ahh, this is shaping up much better..." gloated Super Godzilla Fan, even though Neo Destroyah and Space Varen had rushed into the ocean after the monstrous ships and were smashing them with delight. He then spoke into a hand-held mike. His cruel voice echoed through the loudspeakers.

"Give it up! You're terribly outmatched. Even if you do destroy my fleet of ships, there's still my flagship, more powerful than all of you combined. Give it up and fall to me with dignity," he ranted. Neo Destroyah didn't even listen as he continued to claw at the ship's side, trying to find a way to break through it.

Battrarules and Battra King stood surrounded by the enemy, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, Battrarules had an idea.

"Battra King, you know the massive attack move we practiced..." Battrarules began to explain.

"Battra Storm, yes..." his apprentice replied. "You don mean to..."

"Yes, and we better hurry."

"This could be very dangerous..." Grasping claws spun around in a huge arc, firing all of their respective beams in all directions. At that moment, Space Varen flew by, raining electric death upon the ships. The Battra Storm kept spinning, smashing clean through the hulls of the ships and leaping to another, the corona beam behind them finishing off anything that was left. The combination scourged through the ships, destroying many in a matter of seconds.

Super Godzilla Fan ordered his ship to move to land. Still carrying the Dark Lords in his tentacle, he roared commands. Neo-Destroyah followed the warship as it moved along the ground. He would slam his body into it and use other physical attacks to try and break down the hull.

The fight soon reached the outskirts of Roostville. The ship and the monster continued to battle as Neo was forcing it ever farther away from the town. Super Godzilla Fan suddenly roared into the speaker.

"So, Desu... You think you have won? Think again! I have about 50 nukes on this warship. This battle has successfully carried me far enough away from Roostville to be able to launch them on the city without myself being hurt. Hahaha! And I owe it all to you!" Super Godzilla Fan was about to press a red button when he suddenly felt a deep rumbling under him and the ship rocked side to side. He fell down as it heaved violently. When he peered over the side, Neo Destroyah was venting his rage upon it, smashing his own body into its metal side.

"That's it..." mumbled the Spammerite. Pressing a button, he put pressure on the coils constricting the Dark Lords, beginning to crush them. The King of Spam then hailed the monster below.

"You better back off, monster, or your Dark Lords will get it." He fingered the button to increase the pressure further. Neo Destroyah backed away from the ship. Then, with surprising agility, he leapt into the air and swung his head, issuing forth the horn laser sword and chopping clean through the tentacle holding the Dark Lords. The Triad nimbly leapt from the falling limb onto the ship. Standing to their full height, the three monster robots began to destroy everything in sight. Neo Destroyah resumed attacking the ship's side with renewed zeal. He banged and pushed and spiked with his monster fists until a small hole appeared. Then he pulled and tugged at the opening, rending it open further. Finally, he had a huge gaping access into the ship's interior. What luck! There was the main engine right in front of him. He took advantage of the situation and rained into it his micro-oxygen spray. The engine began to erupt in fire as he hurried away from the ship. Fire began to sprout from the sides and soon, the entire vessel was engulfed in a huge sheet of flame.

The Dark Lords leapt out of the inferno as the ship was about to be consumed in a mushroom cloud when the nukes detonated. It was far enough from Roostville that the city was safe from the effects. Desu and the Dark Lords fought against the following blast, trying to run using their monstrous legs to get away from the advancing radiation. Desu began to fall behind but moving behind him, the Dark Lords lifted him and turned on their sonic speed rocket engines. Flying away, they prepared for the rest of the battle but as it turned out, the remaining ships were connected by the flagship so the destruction of it resulted in the defeat of the rest of the armada, the robots included.

When all the fighters had gathered on the ground and returned to human form, they congratulated each other on the victory. Of course, Desutoroia got most of the attention for being the one to not only save the Dark Lords but also to destroy the main ship, thus ending the battle. The Dark Lords each shook his hand vigorously, followed by Battrarules and Battra King. Princess of Space ran to him and flung her arms around her hero. Once again, she was his girl. He had saved Roostville, the Dark Lords and the world. Things were going well for him.

The group walked off into the distance, leaving behind one creature. Space Varen watched Desu getting all the praise. He had fought in the battle, yet it was Desu who had gotten all the attention, thanks, praise and the girl. His girl.

"Why should celebrities get everything they want?" he asked moodily before sulking off to the Assassin's Club v.2.


Rodan 2000 and the Jalepino Club gang had seen the finale of the battle. With much whooping and hurrah-ing, they finally settled down to review the outcome.

"SGF has been destroyed, thanks to our friend, Desu, and the other fighters in that battle. They saved us from that Spammerite and his nukes, though it'll be quite a while before anyone can venture out around the area of his flagship's remains," Rodan 2000 pointed out, taking a look at the receding mushroom cloud.

"But who would want to go there anyway?" asked Prince of Space. And with that, they went back inside. The battle was won. For now...

Chapter 11: ROOSTVILLE VS. BARNEY

In June of 2013, Roostville was under lock-down when a local resident proposed that Barney the Dinosaur was a Kaiju. The usually peaceful citizens and visitors in the town were doing whatever they do when Barney decided that he had enough power and through his evil TV show, made slaves of his local viewers so that he could take over the world. Only one city was capable of raising an army to stop him: Roostville.
Zearatul slammed his controller down.

"RATPHINKLES!" he yelled. He had been beaten at STREET FIGHTER (for Gamecube) again by that cheap Hadoken move. He was also pissed because he'd been stuck in a snobby hotel for days because of the lock-down. Barney had restarted his TV show full throttle which meant that he had enough Groupie Zombies® to make an army, which he did. This made Zearatul mad because this was the first time since the Zerg invasion started that he had gotten any vacation time. Finally, fed up with waiting and driven insane by STREET FIGHTER, he went downstairs, got a Sharpie and some cardboard and made a sign, WILL WORK FOR FOOD! This got him kicked out of The Most Romantic Hotel in Roostville. He now went to find people to help him beat back the Barney invasion.


Rodan 2000 and the Jalepino Club gang were together at the Club. Suddenly, the doors burst open and a horde of Barney activists ran inside. Godzilla Guy charged his spikes, Kiryu grabbed a blaster, Prince pulled out his Blaster Staff and Rodan charged up a beam. The small brigade had barely gotten through the doors when the first couple lines were instantly blasted back by the sudden barrage of beams. The horde backed away and began to surround the club instead of trying to invade it. The doors were shut quickly and the gang blocked them with tables and chairs. The siege of the Jalepino Club had begun.

Zearatul was knocked down. "What the Fu- Fuzzy?!?!" he screamed. He grabbed the offending humanoid object by the hair and looked into its eyes. It was one of Barney's servants. "Who!?! He looked at the building which it had come from.

"The Jalepino Club." Z. ran toward it. If someone was fighting Barney's zombies, he would most certainly be able to help. Once inside, Zearatul saw four Roostafarians battling the fell creatures.

"What are your names?" he screamed. "Join me!"

"I am Rodan 2000," said a pterodactyl heroically.

"I am Prince of Space," said a man in a blue suit, yellow cape and a blue helmet.

"I am Kiryu Goji," said a regular looking guy.

"And I am Godzilla Guy," said a human-sized cartoony looking Showa Goji.

"And we will help you with your fight against Barney and his minions," Rodan 2000 assured him. As he stepped forward, he tripped and fell headlong onto a table. He quickly stood up awkwardly with his wings on his hips, taking a heroic stance and looking at the figure who had entered the club. "So whats the plan?" he asked. Zearatul looked at his newfound allies.

"The plan is simple. We go to the Japanese Defence Forces. We get Kiryu, we use it to destroy Barney and his..." Z. looked at the creatures on the floor. "Thingies."

"Wow! Good plan. But how about we simply build our own robots?" Rodan suggested. "Or maybe this would be a good time to use the Roostville Robots." Zearatul stared in disbelief. He had badly underestimated this place. Why didn't I know this during the Zerg invasion? he wondered.

"Good idea! Take me to these robots!" He looked around. "Kiryu Goji didn't build these, right?"

"Well, we'll have to ask Sauron if it's all right. A Barney invasion may be a bad thing but if the robots fall into the wrong hands, it could be even worse. For instance, if they fell into Evil Genius Man's hands, we're all as good as dead. Or the zombie slaves. Either one is pretty bad. I think, though, that we might be able to convince Sauron to let us use them instead of just the common public. So let's go," Rodan 2000 figured. The two were about to walk out the door but Prince called them back.

"Umm, there may be a flaw in the 'go'-ing part..." Prince alerted the rest, gesturing out the window. They looked out and saw that the building was surrounded by the zombified minions of Barney.

"We're stuck in here. Look, those guys are too heavily packed against us to fight our way through them. There's no getting out of here... DUCK!" yelled Godzilla Guy as the whole gang (except Rodan 2000) ducked quickly to avoid the small bomb that was hurled at the window. As it struck, it exploded but the glass remained intact, as well as the wall.

"Have I never mentioned that the glass and walls are nearly indestructible? As long as we're in here, we're safe. The walls, windows, doors and roof will protect us," Rodan assured them.

"BLAST!" yelled Zearatul, upset by the fact that they were trapped in the building. "Now how are we going to get to Sauron?!"

"Hey, Kiryu. Have you finished that... project?" asked Prince.

"You mean the living mold, or the Furby repellent?" Kiryu asked.

"No, no, no. The other one... The one on the roof?"

"Oh, yeah. The single person rocket pack. Yeah, it's been finished for a while," Kiryu explained, then paused. "You don't mean... you think it might actually work?"

"Well, it was designed for this kind of situation," Godzilla Guy reminded them. All the while, Zearatul was starting to freak out.

"Furby repellent?! Living mold?" he asked, a bit scared.

"The living mold is new to me..." frowned Rodan 2000.

"Umm, that one is an older one. It kinda got out of hand..." Kiryu admitted.

"How out of hand?" asked Rodan.

"Remember the Ant Farm Incident? Let's just say that the reaction the ants had when they were introduced to mold of the living kind resulted in... well, you know what happened..." Kiryu fudged.

"I've never seen an exterminator run so fast..." laughed Godzilla Guy.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ROOFTOP PROJECT?!" yelled Zearatul, a goodly number of tanks having arrived behind the hordes of Barney zombies.

"Oh, yeah. Well, we quickly found out that this particular club seems to get besieged by villains every once in a while and although we mostly can blast them all with a spare laser of some kind, we wanted to have something if we came across an army that wasn't so easily defeated. So we built a rocket for one person to be able to fly over the hordes and bring reinforcements. We were going to build one for every main customer of the club, plus a few extras but so far, we only have one." Kiryu explained the device as the group made their way to the roof. "So I say we give it to you as you're the one with the plan."

"And if we need to send someone else out, I can go because I can fly," Rodan 2000 added. "Zearatul should be the one we give it to. You want to go?" he asked him.

"Of course! Usually, I would cloak myself but the zombie fan boys are too tightly packed. I would be honored to try out your jet pack." They got upstairs and Kiryu yelled.

"LIVING MOLD!!!" They all ran to the roof and shut the door but it was soon breaking through.

"Just go!" someone shouted. The mold broke through the door. "Hey, that stuff's going to try and eat us. What the heck?"

"NO! We can't leave those three behind! Rodan, can you and/or the jet pack carry more than one person?" Zearatul asked.

"No, it can't. Just go! We can hold it off with our various weapons until you bring reinforcements." Z. strapped on the jet pack and took off toward City Hall.


In another part of town, Angillis was driving along, running over Barney fans.

"GET OUT OF THE ROAD!" he yelled. Suddenly, one of said BFs blew up his car with a bomb. He reached up and put out the flames in his hair. "Someone dies now." He pulled out his rocket launcher and blew away all the zombies in the immediate area. "Damnit... I forgot to charge this thing properly... It isn't exactly limitless." He then pulled out his assault rifle and sword and started blasting/hacking his way through the mob until he got back to his house.

Inside (which was surprisingly clean), Angillis lifted up one of the many statues on his desk, punched in a few numbers and the floor opened up to reveal bazookas, missiles, rockets, giant robots, little robots, human-sized robots and a weird lab.

"I really need to straighten up around here..."

Chapter 12: ATTACK OF THE ROOSTVILLE ROBOTS

On Sept. 18, 2013, out of nowhere Ghidorah came, attacking Roostville© with Gigan, Megalon and a self-controlled MechaGodzilla.

"Ghidorah has come but Godzilla hasn't," observed Sauron. "We must break out the Roostville Robots."

"But sir!" said an unimportant advisor type guy. "We've never done something like this before. What if someone gets hurt? Or Evil Genius Man tries to use his to take over the world?"

"We must. To save Roostville©." Soon, Sauron addressed the community.

"Citizens of Roostville©. We face great danger. King Ghidorah has attacked and though he has left for now, he will be back with his allies. To protect our town in this state of emergency, we will now for the first time issue the Roostville© Robots.

"The Roostville© Robots are packs that when placed onto your back and activated, will unfold into a giant suit, about the size of Gigan, and will be based on the personality of its wearer. It will be different if one person wore it than if another did. It will have three moderately powerful weapons that include such things as beam attacks or a giant sword. The packs will now be issued." Everyone who volunteered for the battle ahead was issued a pack. Ghidorah was back and with three other evil space monsters! The time had come for the Roosters to fight for themselves.

The first to engage his pack was Rodan 2000. His suit immediately opened up, wrapping around the pterodactyl's body. Basically, it looked like a human-sized Fire Rodan with a long tail and a club on the end that resembled a blue version of the Shell gas station logo. By the time the suit had achieved full size, he resembled the Red Bionicle, Rahkshi. Its weapons were flame attacks from the hands, razor like beams from its sail spines and shadowy eye beams.

Space Varen activated his pack. Metal formed around parts of his body as he changed into his Kaiju form. The metal injected wires into his body, turning him into a cyborg. Two giant artillery cannons formed on his shoulders and a cybernetic corona beam enhancer around his mouth. He was ready for combat!

The two robots leapt into action, attacking the evil monsters full force. Space Varen charged in, firing his shoulder missiles. He knocked back MechaGodzilla and unleashed his corona beam upon Gigan. Rodan 2000 fire punched King Ghidorah and then leapt upon him, blasting with his eye lasers and punching him continually.

Megalon blasted a horn lightning beam, knocking away Space Varen. Gigan swiped at him with his claws, then blasted him with his eye lasers. Rodan jumped in and blasted with his eye lasers. The two beams met with tremendous force and an explosion knocked the battlers apart. The robots and the monsters quickly came to when the smoke cleared.

More Roosters activated their packs but Megalon used his horn beam to attack Rodan 2000 until he began to stumble back and fall. He then used his arms to whack him but suddenly, a new Roostville robot appeared.

Godzilla Guy looked like a metal Gamera but with a longer tail and no tusks. There were also cannons on his shoulders. He could also shoot a beam from his mouth. He fired the cannons into Megalon's back, hurting him. Rodan 2000 got up and used his shadowy eye beams but Megalon dodged and the shot hit Space Varen, who was fighting off King Ghidorah and Gigan who had already been injured.

MechaGodzilla approached Godzilla Guy while Rodan 2000 went to help Space Varen. Godzilla Guy tried to use his mouth beam but before he knew it, he had been hit by Megalon from behind. He fell over into the dust and Rodan came to help but King Ghidorah used his gravity beams while MG attacked Space Varen to help out Gigan.

It was looking bad for the robots when Battrarules activated his pack. The red, green and brown robot marched into battle, the glove on its left hand gleaming.

"Welcome to MY nightmare, monsters!" he thundered. The monsters turned. As he looked toward MechaGodzilla, the Freddy-bot challenged him. "Go on, you retarded 'bot! Show me what ya got! Did that rhyme?!" MechaGodzilla suddenly turned as the glove bashed in his skull. Battrarules saw Gigan behind him and grinned. "Welcome to Wrestlemania!"

Meanwhile, something evil hiding in the sky above laughed as Ghidorah, Gigan, Megalon and MechaGodzilla destroyed Roostville... It was Miko, the evil living brain who controlled Ghidorah, Gigan and Megalon in GODZILLA VS. THE SPACE MONSTERS: Earth Defense Directive. But he was fired and Toho replaced him with the Nebula M Space Hunter cockroaches. Toho then removed Megalon and Majin from the film as well.

"Time to send down some more space monsters!" Miko figured. First, he sent in Mogu, an unused monster from THE RETURN OF GHIDORAH (which was the second draft of GODZILLA VS. THE SPACE MONSTERS). He then sent in Hedorah, Dogora and Legion to aid the ones presently attacking Roostville.

Battrarules snarled as Gigan bored into him. "Come to my chainsaw massacre!" He then activated an adamantium chain saw. It bit into Gigan's neck, resulting in a massive flow of blood. The monster yelled as Mogu snuck up on Battrarules from behind. Gigan's severed head fell and Mogu howled in agony as the saw cut apart a wing.

Rodan 2000 figured, "Well, I guess we better help.." and the other Roosters charged. RadoGoji activated his pack. The orange robot had a cannon mounted on one forearm which shot a pulse laser. A missile launcher was mounted on the other arm. A beam saber was sheathed on Rado's side. The eyes were small laser cannons and to top it all off, two silver wings protruded from his back.

"Let's rumble!" RadoGoji grinned as he flew off toward the battle, taking out and activating his beam saber. He then pondered if he was insane or not for ever volunteering for this mission. He knew that he had to help as much as he could and took a swing at Hedorah, who had plagued his nightmares as a child. The severed arm of the Smog Monster flopped around, spreading toxic goo everywhere, which ironically did not harm most of the surrounding area.

Rado then fired his pulse cannon at the creature, muttering to himself, "Eat this, you stupid walking piece of crap!" The cannon left a bunch of holes in Hedorah's body but did not seem to affect him that much. In fact, the monster only become angry. After Hedorah grew a new arm and filled in the holes, it set its huge eyes on Rado.

"Oops... Guys? A little help, please?" Battrarules quickly came over, ready for action.

"Suck on this, stink weed!" He fired an electric cannon (like the Omega Storm) and got rained on by putrid waste for his efforts.

"Thanks!" RadoGoji called as Battrarules then brought his chain saw to bear on Mogu who froze his suit. It shattered as the maniac fell. With a thunderous roar, he became Gamera and grew to 80 meters.

"Time for pay back," the Kaiju thought as he marched toward Legion, roaring as he spat a fire ball that exploded against its shield. Legion shrieked his warbling cry as Gamera closed in on him, then fell to the ground and split in half when Gamera rushed him. The giant turtle growled as he turned toward Mogu.

"WE GOT UNFINISHED BUSINESS!" he thundered. Mogu withered in the face of his onslaught.


Zax was thinking deeply in his dark mansion on the outskirts of Roostville about how he could control the sun's rays and plunge Roostville into a world of darkness. As he pondered, he suddenly heard monsters fighting outside. Curious, he stepped outside to see them fighting robots. He turned to the nearest Rooster around and demanded to know what was going on.

"We brave citizens have been issued their own pack and we are fighting giant monsters. You should help." Zax picked up his own pack and transformed into a giant monster robot. It was black and had evil yellow eyes with laser cannons attached to its fingers, sharp teeth and powerful bombs that could be shot through the mouth.

Suddenly, Godzilla Guy's robot deactivated when it was hit by Dogora. It exploded but the other Roosters continued to fight on. Zax's robot flew into the air and did a flying kick into Gigan who was attacking Rodan 2000. Ghidorah then sent gravity beams into Zax's robot (the Darnlatron) and the other space monsters started hitting all the remaining Roosters. Some crashed to the ground with armor damage. The monsters were rapidly gaining the upper hand.

The experimental, non-wussy, pre-Resurrection-of-Desutoroia RadoGoji now faced off against Megalon who decided to try and attack Rado from the air, shooting lightning from his horn and hitting Rado in the arm, forcing him to drop his beam saber. Rado looked up and spread his wings again, flying upward towards his attacker. Megalon fired a few napalm chunks at Rado, which left some burn marks on his robot's orange finish.

"Let's see how you like to be on the other side of a similar attack," Rado said and shot off a missile which hit Megalon in the back, grounding him. Rado touched down as Megalon got up. Seeing the beam saber near him and (somehow) picking it up, he now was welding it against Rado.

"Uh oh!" Rado gasped, dodging a swing from the saber. However, he decided to give Megalon a taste of his own medicine and shot his pulse laser at his arm, forcing him to drop the weapon. Rado picked it up and swung it, cutting off one of Megalon's arms. The monster screeched in pain as Rado smiled at this triumph.

Meanwhile, Roosters were fighting the other monsters who were on the verge of crushing all the Roostville buildings. Rodan 2000's robot suddenly let out a surprising sneak attack that included a very loud screech as Ghidorah was attacked. Zax unleashed his hypno-beam that hypnotized Mogu but Rodan 2000 was struck from behind with an eye laser..

"Hey now! That's not very nice..." he yelled, turning around to see Gigan. The evil monster screeched at him and blasted heavily at the robot, sending him flying into a building.

"That's not very nice either. How's this?!" he yelled as his robot's eyes glowed red. It leapt from the ground and slammed its fist into Gigan's face. His beak hit the ground so hard that it got stuck so Rodan hit him with his eye lasers and fire punched him continuously. He held his arms together in the air as a mighty light pulsed from his fists. He brought them down on Gigan as fire tore through the sky and lightning rained down upon the sniveling form.

Gigan shrieked and pulled himself free from the ground. He spun around, slamming tail, claws and feet into the robot, finishing the move with an eye laser beam. Rodan 2000 went flying into the air but before he hit a building he saw looming behind him, he used his wings to fly low over his enemy and blast at him with his chest cannon. Gigan was hit so hard, his body was driven into the ground and one of his three wings was incinerated.

"Didn't know that I can get pretty 'not nice' with my Eclipse Cannon, eh?" He then flew off to join the others. Gigan screeched but suddenly, in the distance something glowed. Ghidorah had returned. Mogu was healing the monsters! Rodan 2000, making the wrong decision and thinking that Zax had told Mogu to do it, turned and knocked him to the ground.

Meanwhile, Rado was knocked against a wall as Megalon hit him with his drill arms. Rado screamed as he went flying into a building. He quickly unleashed a missile that paralyzed Megalon for a few seconds as it winced in pain. Rado then spread his wings and shot his pulse laser. Megalon defended himself by putting his metal arms out, deflecting the powerful beam onto Rado. He fell into the building but Space Varen came to help, hitting Megalon from behind with a full body tackle. He fired his artillery cannons that sent the monster crashing into the building himself.

More Roosters were fighting Ghidorah but they were losing. Two were on the ground while two others were bravely trying to inflict some damage on one of Ghidorah's heads. The space demon sent them both flying into the ground with three gravity beams as Battrarules walked toward him in his Gamera form. He spat a series of fire balls and Ghidorah shrieked, the plasma burning him. Battrarules then went into saucer mode and rushed the golden monster. Blood splattered all over his shell.

As Mogu raced to heal his monster, Gamera shifted into Irys and stabbed him to drain him. The power of Battrarules increased. Then he saw Miko heading toward him. The one-winged monster was quickly drained and Battrarules took to the sky for an aerial battle.

Battra/Irys unleashed a hail of sonic beams against Miko, only for a blast of lighting to smite him from the heavens. Miko's laughter was thunder to the falling shapeshifter. At once, Dogora flew down and covered him, its touch burning him severely. Battrarules roared in rage.

Lord Conqueror's magic kicked in, drawing a swarm of bees and wasps to attack Dogora. The space monster lifted off of Battrarules, hissing as it began to break apart, beaten for the moment.

Battrarules flew to fight Miko again just as a horde of Space Gyaos descended. The chaos seemed to be never-ending but Battrarules grinned. He became Gamera once more and fire balls rapidly started depleting their ranks.

"Aw, nuts! Not again!" shouted Miko as Gamera came rocketing towards him. The alien entity quickly struck back with more bolts of lightning, once again slamming Battrarules down to the ground. "INSECT!" it rumbled, "YOU ARE NOTHING!" Miko glowed for a moment, then began to fly down towards Battrarules, pulsing with electricity.


William D. Fix stepped out of the limousine, watching the massive battle against the space Kaiju. His bodyguard, Kertz, came up next to him and handed him the pack.

"Boss, are you sure about this? You could get killed out there!" Fix took off his shades, handing them and his cane to Kertz.

"What you should worry about is getting out of here. Grab a pack if you can because it'll be much safer that way." Then he broke into a run, dashing away from the car. When he was closer to the battle, Bill Fix activated his pack. The suit coiled around him in a flash, taking shape to the Mafia man's will. His Roostville Robot appeared almost like a cross between an ape and a tank. The lumbering machine soon aimed both tank arms at King Ghidorah and opened fire.

The space demon, bleeding profusely after his tussle with Battrarules, was unprepared for the new arrival. Worse, there was no longer a Mogu to heal his injuries. Ghidorah's shriek rang throughout Roostville as high-powered bursts of plasma tore through him like a knife through hot butter. More bursts hurled Ghidorah onto his back. Bill advanced on the space monster, gun arms aimed at his heads. But before he fired, he looked up and saw a crowd of other Robots gather around.

"ALL TOGETHER NOW!!" Almost as one, a series of beam weapons fired into the prone form. The King of Terror was killed instantly, vanishing in a gory explosion. Meanwhile, Space Varen and RadoGoji were overpowering Megalon but then, the wounded Gigan entered the fray, blasting Rado off his feet as Megalon drove his remaining drill into Varen's machine.

Kiryu Goji looked up and saw the hordes of Space Gyaos. He had been knocked out by Ghidorah early in the fight before he could activate his robot. He turned and saw all of his friends and neighbors battling to the death on the streets of Roostville. He could not stay idle. Making perhaps the first mature decision of his life, the Roostville prankster activated his pack. When the transformation ended, the robot resembled a gigantic Therizinosaurus. It had a long neck and small, horse-like head. It stood upright on two clawed legs and had a short tail. Its arms were huge and each was equipped with three absolutely enormous claws, each as long as one of Gigan's but thinner. The machine was metallic black from head to toe. Kiryu faced the nearest Gyaos and prepared for battle.

Chapter 13: PHISHBERT

Doctor Phish was in his lab. He was planning something as he sat in a chair with a pipe in his mouth, plotting away. Mankind had always been lesser than the elements. They were always weaker and defenseless against the true forces of nature. But what if mankind was given the power of nature? What would it be like if humans had the powers over fire, water, wind and earth? Sure, there were warriors in Roostville that had those powers but what would be great would be if any human could gain these abilities, or at least ones with a big enough check book... Phish began to plan out th is new scheme. He would need an assistant, someone agile and quick. He thought about making some kind of a cat-human creature but then he remembered Catbert.

Yes, Catbert could do it. No, no, no. Catbert would never do. Catbert isn't smart enough for this kind of a job. But wait. What if he could create a clone, one that mixed the genes of Catbert and those of himself? That would be perfect. Phish's brains and Catbert's brawn. Yes! He would do it! He immediately began to work on his new creation, pressing buttons on his clone machine and setting his and Catbert's genes into the thing. Yes. This was going to be great! Soon there would be a creature as smart as the Phishy One and as quick and agile as Catbert. He would call the creature Phishbert. He pressed the ENTER button and the machine began to glow and rumble. The legacy of Phishbert was about to begin...

A little later:

The good doctor's creature assistant, Phishbert, had come out exactly as Phish had planned. It had the agility related skills of a cat and the brains and knowledge of the Doctor himself. In looks, it had Catbert's body and features, with a few small changes here and there. Of course, as every creature does, it had its own quirks. One in particular was that it had almost an obsession with card games and card tricks. It literally had a deck of cards with it everywhere it went. Dr. Phish decided it couldn't harm anything so he let it carry it with him in a pocket.

Phish and his new assistant had already begun work on the machine that would give the powers of nature to humans. It was nearly finished and had a circular sheet of metal with four long spikes coming out from under it. They were about ten feet long and curving, then pointing inward. It seemed as if they were hollow.

The Doctor was on the under side with a cutting torch and sparks began to fly out as he worked. Phishbert was above him, also using a torch. It was almost done and all the beams and gears and machinery were finished and working properly. All that was left to do was cut out a hole big enough to slip in a glass tube they had previously built for the person to go inside when the process began. It was a safety precaution to keep the user from falling off the machine in case anything went wrong. Actually, the part that actually was used in the process was about 30 feet into the air, like in a tower. At the bottom, the user could stand in the long tube that would raise him three stories up to the actual place where he would be given the powers. The tube had to be slipped through the hole they were cutting out of the metal.

Finally, they were finished and Phishbert moved out of the way to allow the glass tube to be slid up but forgetting how little space he actually had, he began to lose his balance and almost toppled over. As he tried to right himself, his flailing foot connected with the torch which was sent flying across the room. The gas cylinders landed and exploded, the resulting fire engulfing the control panel to the machine.

Phishbert was finally able to lean back against the rising glass wall but the machine began to click and whir and sparks began to fly from it. He felt it rumble as a charge of power ran through its system. A beam flew out of each of the spikes at him. There was a red, green, blue and yellow one, representing the four elements: red for fire; blue, water; green, earth and yellow, wind. The beams struck almost in the same place, grouped together on Phishbert's chest in the area of his shirt pocket. All but one of the beams hit squarely an object that was in the pocket, the fourth one actually hitting Phishbert himself.

Dr. Phish, at the bottom of the machine, had been thrown about ten feet away from it after the power surge. He picked himself up from the floor and noticed the sparks along the base of the machine. Suddenly, the bottom caught fire.

"My goodness! She's gonna blow!" he shouted and hurriedly slammed his fist into a button on a nearby control panel. "Sorry, Phishbert..." he sighed and watched as the machine disappeared into a portal. He and his lab were safe, though he would lose the machine and his assistant.


Out in the Kenji Sahara Desert, there was a sudden blast of wind as the portal opened and dropped the machine to the ground. Phishbert remained on top of it, the beams concentrated on his form and sending their powers into his body. Fire engulfed the base of the machine and was quickly rising upward like a terrible bird of prey. The entire device was completely surrounded within a matter of minutes. When the fire died down, thick black smoke rose into the air. After a few minutes, the charred black tower stood on the sand. The spikes on top had been almost entirely blown off and the glass tube was shattered down to the base. Nothing could have survived the fire and explosion, except possibly something with the powers of nature...

A figure could be seen lying on the very top of the wreckage. Phishbert. He was not charred, blackened or burnt in any way. He lay there with his eyes closed. Suddenly, he stirred and began to sit up and look around.

"Where am I?" he asked himself sleepily. "What happened?" He tried to remember but he couldn't. He had no recollection of what he had been doing or even who he was. He still had the knowledge given to him by his Phish genes and the agility and speed.

He stood up and reached into his pocket, pulling out the deck of cards and quickly snapping into full consciousness. As he did, he tried to remember but still couldn't. The more he tried, the more angry it made him. Finally, in a rage, he slammed his fist into the remains of a nearby metal spike. It broke off, taking a corner of the top with it. The machine began to wobble and as it shook, Phishbert fell off, falling three stories into the soft sand below but without a scratch. He smiled and slammed his fist into the side. The thing groaned mightily and fell over.

Phishbert looked down at his hands and smiled again, this time malevolently. In his other hand, he still held the deck of cards. He squeezed it but it couldn't be crushed. This puzzled him and held it up. Suddenly, it lit on fire in his hand but he wasn't burned. Then it began to glow with a freezing cloud around it but he wasn't frozen.

He threw the cards away but the package soared through the air, circled and came back to him. Phishbert sat down hard in the sand. He couldn't remember who he was, yet he did seem to have powers. He had great strength, as well as a deck of cards that had the power of flight, fire and freezing.

Phishbert thought about it. Fire, wind, water and earth. For some reason, they came to mind. The cards had the power of fire. He had the super strength which could stand for the Earth. The flight of the cards could be wind and the freezing could be water. Phishbert now had super powers!

He grinned evilly. Every super villain needs a name. He looked at the cards in his hand and immediately thought of one: Wild Card. Yes, that's who he would be. Wild Card. He laughed like a maniac and stood up, ready to return to Roostville.


Battrarules groaned as he sought refuge in the Jalepino Club. He signalled Rodan 2000 and said, "Fix me another round." He started to drink, the long battle with the living mold and Barney fans having exhausted him.

Battra King soon arrived in his half-human form and placed his order. "Give me a vodka on the rocks." The two quietly communed as Battrarules' healing powers began to kick in. He opened a mind link with Battra King and helped his apprentice regenerate from the terrible battle. Suddenly, a mirror showed Uber-Freddy. You must come to Roostville proper. There is a battle going on. A fight between Legion and the Roostville Militia. Battrarules turned to his apprentice.

"Time to fight," he said. They quickly left, shifting into their monster forms even as they were charging out the door. Rodan 2000 looked at the others in the room.

"Wanna see what the commotion is all about?" he asked. There was silent agreement as they all got up and ran out the door, hopped in his Ferrari and were on their way.

In downtown Roostville, they began to watch the unfolding spectacle. The giant form of Legion stood in the middle of town with the Roostville Militia surrounding it, firing with all they had. Battrarules and Battra King were flying in circles around the monster, firing their many beams. As a crowd gathered to watch, the two were-Kaiju fought wildly against the humongous adversary. The battle raged on for quite a while and the crowds gathered around the area, slowly growing. Amongst them was a new figure. Phishbert.

He stood watching the fighters and looked around at the people, trying to find a weakness in the town. Maybe he could simply take over while they were all busy watching the battle or he could use it to his advantage in some other way. Yes, that was it. First of all, he would have to get money and right by him was the bank. During a battle like this, it was probably empty, or at least barely guarded. He slipped away from the crowds and through the door.

Phishbert walked up to the counter and began to speak to the cashier. "How rich is this bank?" he asked.

"Ahh, this is one of the richest, best banks in Roostville," the man assured him.

"Then you have too much. Let me relieve you of some of that money." He quickly pulled his cards out and let them fly around the place, cutting through the walls and into the safe. The door fell off and there was a hole in the wall.

Phishbert made his way into the safe as the cashier quickly sounded the alarm but no one came. The Mods were busy fighting Legion but someone did hear the signal. It was Prince of Space. He quickly rushed over and sized up the scene through the glass doors. Someone was walking into the safe room. He ran in and shouted at the person.

"Hey, you! Turn around and put your hands in the air." He cocked his staff and made ready to blast the crook with it. Phishbert turned around and looked at him, putting his hands in the air.

"Okay. Now what do you want me to do?" he asked, nonchalantly.

What's your name?" Prince asked the mysterious creature.

"Wild Card." And with that, cards flew out of the pack on his belt and flew in swarms at Prince. Taking evasive action, he spun his staff, knocking any that flew too close away. Wild Card began to walk across the lobby with the bags of money in his hands, using his super strength to grab as much as possible. Prince quickly took a moment to aim his staff, twist the end and send a pale blue blast of a strange mist from it slamming into Wild Card as he walked out through the hole in the wall.

He was sent flying, along with the bags of money. He slammed into a wall, through it and crashed into the street. Prince quickly ran for the hole and leapt out, standing amongst the debris. He cocked his staff again and smiled at the fallen form of Wild Card.

The cat-creature raised a hand and a couple of cards flew into it. They quickly lit on fire as he threw them at Prince, flying straight for the hero. Prince swung with his staff at the fiery missiles and batted them away, letting them fly back to Wild Card. More came at him this time, surrounded by a freezing mist. Prince again slammed them away with his staff. Whenever the two weapons struck, the freezing mist of the cards would explode in a shower of icy shards.

Wild Card was on his feet again and Prince took a step backwards to run at his enemy. He spun his staff in front of him like a propeller and as he ran, he leapt into the air. His cape billowed behind him as he flew through the air, twisting the spinning staff and slamming it into Wild Card's chest. The cat flew backwards into the wall again and Prince flew after him, slamming his large feet into the villain. Prince got up, stepped off his fallen opponent and stood back, the staff pointed directly at Wild Card's head.

"And that is that," he said. He saw Rodan 2000 and the others coming over. "Hey, guys," he greeted them.

"Dude! That was so cool!" shouted Kiryu as he ran to catch up.

"Ahh, it was nothing," the hero grinned. Turning around, he saw that Wild Card had disappeared without a trace. Puzzled, he looked around for him and soon spied him running off down an alley. A small cloud of cards followed him and then grouped together, sliding into the pack on his belt. Wild Card turned a corner and was gone.


Battra King shouted to Battrarules, "I thought Legion was killed during that robot battle!" Battrarules used his tentacles to stop Legion's EM beam.

"Never mind that, Battra King. Aim for his eye!" The apprentice did so, blasting a massive hole. Legion wailed and was hefted up by Battrarules with little strain. "Not as hard as it appears, really. All he is is hot air!" He then tossed Legion into the air and flew up without his tentacles and punched him into orbit. Battrarules landed and walked back to the Jalepino Club with Battra King following.


Zax snickered as he loaded the rest of the supplies into his stolen truck. Stupid club... They hadn't even noticed him! So pathetic... Zax turned and was met by a fist to the face. The two thugs viciously beat the King of Darkness into unconsciousness, then loaded him into the back of a limousine. A voice, extremely similar to Zax's, commanded the two men to get in the car. Fast. The limo kicked into gear and drove away...


Epilogue

What happens next? YOU decide, at the Jalepino Club!


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