On March 30, 2005 (2014 in the Roostville Time Line), Kiryu Goji created his first story. Being the well-known prankster that he is, an April Fool's Day theme would no doubt be fun, especially in the Kaiju Nations. A funny thing happened on his way to the forum: his computer wouldn't let him get into Roostville until April 3rd.
There have been some elaborate stunts pulled on past April Fools Days and many members THINK they know ALL the possible tricks that devious Dark Lords and just plain fun-loving folks could attempt. Like knowing better than to bring home mysterious giant eggs you might find near mine excavations or local black hole gun test sites, online Kaiju fans need to be aware that strange things can happen around here on April 1st.
What Gojira07 of Goji's Stomp called 'indeed a genius prank' resulted in some people actually taking it too seriously but that is the whole idea. These stunts are a lot more subtle than the old rubber snake/whoopie cushion gags we pull on friends and co-workers. As well, due to past experiences, our 'audience' is rather gun shy so the stunt has to get past any initial suspicion to fully work its magic.
This one played on everyone's allegiance and enjoyment of the major Kaiju web sites and the online Kaiju fandom being ripped asunder by hacking 'terrorists'. Sauron is most correct in stating that "the fandom is not fractured, but rather it is more closely knit than ever before."
Maybe you weren't around on Nov. 6, 2003 when the site REALLY vanished from its plane of existence and we spent a MONTH at Monsterzeroville (thanks once again to Kinggoji for the hospitality!). We wanted to keep in touch with our members via the Internet while the situation got resolved and did just that. This time, the site's 'disappearance' was due to the careful planning and working together of four of the big Kaiju sites to make it possible. THAT is how we 'save' what we cherish and believe in, BANDING TOGETHER, regrouping and never giving up on what FANDOM really stands for.
Angilas greatly exemplified these principles when he set up a whole new forum. As well as getting a 'field promotion' for his efforts, 27 of our members got a "Little Green Square"/Positive Rep Point/thingy Medal of Honor for joining the temporary forum and continuing on with what Kaijuphile is truly all about: Japanese giant monsters, NOT personal attacks, abuse of power, vulgarity, total anarchy, impropriety, lame flame wars, etc. A bunch of members of various boards thought that the only way to save themselves was to join with 'the bad guys' and the 'scenario' started taking on a life of its own.
I truly enjoyed the sheer scope of the effort and its 'real time' ACTION over the several days as 'the bad guys' began their 'takeover' and our members 'defended' Saruman and Kaijuphile itself. Our particular little band of 'refugees' adjourned to 'Kaijuphile.com' and maintained, eagerly awaiting word of what had become of our 'Roost'. To continue the sheer 'drama' of the prank, Saruman advised of Toho's 'actions' against Roostville. What did our folks do? They met the 'challenge' head on! What is a real tribute to them is the auto-censor over there didn't melt down, no one got banned and WE SURVIVED YET ANOTHER APRIL 1st, shades of Black November and all!
Now, sit back and enjoy a Roostville 'take' on this elaborate prank.
Chapter One: WHO'S NUMBER ONE?
The first of April is eagerly anticipated by one guy who has it marked on 103 calendars and has been practicing pranks all year. Now, it was time!
It was the last night of March and Kiryu Goji had been setting up pranks all night long. He had rigged the traffic lights so that they stayed on red for three hours at a time, even when no cars were coming. He had hung fake G2K UFOs over every single window at the truck stop and rigged the toilets so that when someone flushed, water would squirt them in the face. At the high school, he had toyed with the speakers so they played Michael Jackson songs for six straight hours. And he had painted the City Hall purple.
Kiryu waited anxiously for the town to wake up as he had a full schedule ahead of him. At 9, he was going to blow up a toilet in City Hall. At 11, he would paint a city bus like a giant Tylenol and at 4, he was going to replace the sleeping pills at the nursing home with Skittles. No way around it, he was a Class-A nut case, he told himself as he placed a stick of dynamite in the men's room.
He remembered his very first prank, when he was but a lad of seven and still living in the distant land of New York City. He had started with just a simple rubber snake, which he put in his teacher's desk. It amazed him how the simplest jokes became so elaborate over the years. Within a month after the rubber snake prank, he had attached a Darth Vader voice changer to the Principal's microphone and filled the gym teachers' lockers with week-old egg salad sandwiches. After one of his pranks got out of hand and resulted in the explosion of a local McDonald's and getting kicked out of the city, he moved to Roostville where he quickly filled the niche of Top Prankster.
For years, Kiryu Goji was the undisputed King of Pranks in the Kaiju-loving city and he loved every second of it. Then, GodofPH came along and his first real competition had arrived. KG remembered that he was at work at his Wal-Mart today and should be an easy target. As he lit the fuse to the dynamite and threw it in the toilet, he thought, Let's see if there's time to pay a little visit to PH as he grinned evilly.
Kiryu wasn't the only Roostafarian who eagerly awaited The Day of the Fool. GodofPH had also gone on an all-night prank-spree. He had slipped into houses and businesses all over Roostville and replaced sugar with salt. He had also climbed the water tower and dumped a huge amount of flour, fish oil and laxatives into the town's water supply. PH had used his pyrokinesis to heat up metal door knobs so that they would burn the hands of anyone who touched them. He 'borrowed' a crane and lifted people's cars onto roofs.
PH saw Kiryu running back toward his house after setting up his pranks and an evil grin spread across the arsonist's face. He jumped in his fan-boat and drove back to the Wal-Mart to grab a bottle of itching powder, a large bag of dog dung and a leaf blower.
PH put the dog poo into a paper bag and set it on Kiryu's porch. The arsonist knocked on the door and quickly hid in the bushes, launching a tiny fire ball at the bag to set it aflame. Kiryu opened the door and saw the flaming bag on his porch. Meanwhile, PH was filling his leaf blower with itching powder. Kiryu started stamping out the fire and realized there was dung in the bag. He was about to groan at being taken in by such a mundane gag when PH jumped out of the bushes and aimed the leaf blower at him.
"Take that! I'm the Prank King!" PH yelled. Kiryu quickly pulled the emergency rope for just such occasions which sent hundreds of water balloons filled with duck oil and fish guts flying at PH, soaking him in the stuff.
A newcomer to Roostville, Gzilla04, was walking through town, looking for whatever entertainment he might sample. As he was going down the sidewalk, someone ran by and dumped glue all over him.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHA, Gzilla04! I hope you like your stay at Roostville!" Quite sticky, Gzilla went back home to wash up. While taking a shower, he devised a plan to get Cookson for dumping glue all over him.
Chapter Two: Operation DUPE FANDOM
Temporarily forgotten by the local pranksters, a far more sinister plot besides their springtime equivalent of Halloween high jinx was still unfolding across various communities of the Kaiju Nations. Roostville was one of them.
No one was aware of the clandestine meetings which had taken place deep beneath the streets of Roostville when dark shapes disappeared into the shadows along the subway tunnels that would lead them to a secret meeting place. Back in March, they had gathered around a massive throne crafted from the carcasses of innumerable STAR WARS figures. Dark Lords Morgoth, Sauron and Saruman were pleased that their counterparts from Maser City had been busy and recruited the two new communities, Tokyo Monsterville and Goji's Stomp, into their grand scheme.
Everyone had taken seats at a long table before the throne. A tall cylon, its chrome body gleaming in the faint light trickling into the chamber, positioned itself beside Mayor Morgoth, its red optic scanner zipping from side to side within the visor of its face, searching for any sign of an intruder. Several bestial Uruk-hai also took their places beside their master. Other denizens of the great hall gathered around the table as Shawntallica of Maser City prepared to address the assembly.
"My plan is Operation DUPE FANDOM (for lack of a better name)," he began. "The various entertainment and communications mediums are a vital part of each community's commerce and wellbeing, particularly Kaiju films, television, radio and the Internet. Due to the geographic location of this island, we must rely on rather sophisticated satellites, relays, antennas, intranets and even bootlegs to keep our citizens occupied and entertained. The basis of this little exercise is to remove these options so many take for granted at a time of year when they are most vulnerable to stress, namely the annual April Fool's Day.
"On the first day of April, people are all too aware of what pranks might await them should they venture too far from home. No doubt many will not be able to do so immediately, due to the air having been let out of their tires, doors being epoxyed shut, etc. The perpetrators of those types of yearly stunts are rather mundane compared to what we can accomplish."
There was much nodding and grinning among those assembled, carefully selected by James Ballard, founder of Tokyo Monsterville; Mayor Gary of Goji's Stomp, Project Pimp of Maser City (The Instigator) and Mayor Morgoth of Roostville. Also present were Field Marshal Goji Son to co-ordinate Roostville's militia, Ryouga Saotome of Tokyo Monsterville; Kornfreekiam and Space Gamera of Maser City and Zillamon (Spammer Extraordinaire).
"The 'downfall' of Maser City will be just the first stage," Project Pimp continued as he addressed the group of conspirators. "We will offer a Pay-Per-View satellite broadcast of GODZILLA: FINAL WARS which our communities' citizens may access through their cable system. Although Tokyo Monsterville has done this previously, it was a one time affair.
"This broadcast will set the stage for things to REALLY kick off. The 'show' (at whatever your cable subscribers are willing to pay) will simply be a crappy bootleg that anyone in their right mind could only watch for about 20 minutes at the most as it goes completely berserk when Rodan opens his wings in front of the moon and cuts rapidly to other scenes with the manic laugher of the Controller looped throughout."
"Much better than the doppleganger fiasco..." Morgoth commented, referring to Hedorah's appearance in the heart of his town the year before. The irate townsfolk had once again risen to the occasion and nearly blasted the area to rubble, trying to take down the emanation.
"I think we should try and shift blame for this disaster on Kong Town," suggested Saruman.
"I already contacted them," Pimp explained. "They STILL don't have cable so they had to opt out, I'm afraid." Morgoth then directed the assemblage to review the maps strewn about the table.
"As you can see, we can easily muster our troops in the downtown areas to make a big show of invading the respective towns as needed, making it look extra convincing that we intend to retaliate for this 'farce' directed at our citizens. The Kaiju Nations will in effect be facing their first civil war!" James Ballard continued the outline.
"Tokyo Monsterville will be pivotal in Phase One of THE PLAN when our army 'destroys' Maser City via already prepared 'newscasts' which will be supposedly fed from the field. The MC conspirators will meanwhile have fled their town and 'captured' Tokyo Monsterville while it is unprotected, claiming it as their rightful conquest.
"Over our broadcast facilities which will be linked to Roostville's and Goji's Stomp's, the citizens will find themselves with a potential threat at their doorsteps and their armies on the defensive. Then we shall be in a position to execute Phase Two." Mayor Gary of Goji's Stomp looked up from the 900 page print-out.
"Please turn to page 342. The citizens of Roostville will no doubt question the ability of our troops but the guerrillas will succeed in over-running our town and take command of the broadcast facilities over which Maser City will threaten to exterminate the entire Kaiju Nations and bring the continent under Pimp's control. We have prepared footage to show our little city dying, thanks to modern special computer generated effects. For those of you who have not reviewed the tapes, you should find them quite convincing."
"Our preparations are almost complete. We must not let anyone threaten THE PLAN," Morgoth declared as he got up to take his throne. "Foolish indeed are those who live by the media." His Vice-Mayor, Sauron, scuttled off into the darkness as everyone headed back into the network of subway tunnels, appearing to be simply commuters returning to their respective home towns. The deception would not be discovered as martial law would be declared and travel between the cities prohibited, as well as communications interrupted as the countdown began.
Sauron was not really paying attention to where he was going when he exited the Baragon Subway Lines and heard a strange sound. Peeking around a corner, he saw Raptor sprinting right at him with her gun drawn.
Figuring he was nailed, he did the only reasonable thing he could think of and threw up a force field to make his escape. The Dark Lord then hurried on his way as Raptor cursed about the Orc she was chasing getting away. Sauron finally realized it was OK to resume breathing again and made a beeline back to the Roostville Cable & Telephone complex.
Chapter Three: MARCH 17th
That was three days before the FINAL WARS
broadcast. Gamingboy was not in on the 'plot' (for various reasons) and wisely referred any irate calls he got from fellow disgruntled Pay-Per-View subscribers to Sauron rather than jumping in his Gamingmobile and taking out Maser City himself.
He did already have his own copy (compliments of the usual sources) and preferred to finish packing for his latest hiatus from the crazy burg he often wondered why he had chosen as his home in the first place. Of course, Sauron also expressed his outrage and assured his subscribers they would be reimbursed on their monthly billings, as well as "those punks in Maser City being dealt with."
This time, the RC&T facility managed to survive the 'crisis' intact without the Mods having to save the town's most cherished resource from irate citizens. He was definitely looking forward to the next segment of THE PLAN which would involve news of Tokyo Monsterville 'wreaking havoc' on Maser City. Still, he hoped none of the locals with expertise in video production figured out what was really going on...
"I guess I will have to get Sheriff Varan and the Mod Squad to investigate any suspicions immediately," he figured, wondering which officers he might could get away with including in the diabolic charade. He hadn't spoken to anyone about THE PLAN himself and wondered who the others had included out of necessity.
Looking toward City Hall, he didn't have to wonder how much good Morgoth would do their cause as he no doubt could even handle the Concerned Citizens Committee when they got up in arms over 'questionable' local doings. Only Raptor, Gorgozilla, Sandworm Phish and the Sheriff himself might present a 'problem'. He would have liked the full complement of Mods and city administrators to be aware of what was about to happen, especially Melkor, but it didn't seem plausible to have them responding as if it wasn't a 'real' crisis.
Raptor would no doubt try to get everyone to settle down and convince them that "it was only a crappy bootleg! What do you expect from Maser City anyway?" Probably, a good deal on the REAL THING would be offered at a reasonable price to make up for the 'fiasco'. By morning, they could forget about giant monsters as 'war' broke out in the Kaiju Nations. Hopefully, everyone would take as big an interest in that and not drive him up the wall about the local cable service's choice of films.
Soon enough, Roostafarians were telling their friends and neighbors who might not be tuned in to the Roostville News Network, "You're not going to believe this but Tokyo Monsterville is attacking Maser City!" The gauges at the RC&T started climbing as more folks tuned in and fired up their computers to compare notes. From his secret control room below the ramshackle station, Sauron monitored the various online city discussion forums and chat rooms to get a pulse on public response.
"Sure beats the Neilsens!" the Dark Lord grinned.
And what makes you think those TM troops are capable of such a feat? someone soon posted.
Because the Aliens are in on it too came the response.
That's JUST HORRIBLE! a distraught late arrival added.
If the Dark Lords themselves would do something for a change, it would most likely be resolved with a minimum of bloodshed, not a whole town being destroyed a peacemaker tried to suggest, only to be greeted with several But thatz no fun!!! replies.
I personally bet MC isn't going to go down easy so there! came another.
One poster mentioned having interests in Maser City and was going to go there to assure they were still intact. Sauron checked with the militia units posted at all the routes out of town and advised them to be ready to turn back anyone trying to leave.
"Tell them they can watch it on TV," he ordered. "Anyone thinks they should be able to find out what's REALLY going on for themselves, advise them that Sheriff Varan will make certain their cell has access to a television. I thank you for your service in this time of civil unrest in the Kaiju Nations," he advised the captain heading up the detail.
Chapter Four: MARCH 21st
By early evening of the fourth day, Maser City had 'fallen' and Project Pimp had a price on his head from Tokyo Monsterville for Violating Intellectual Property Involving Kaiju.
A furious Pimp 'hijacked' the Special Bulletin being broadcast to facilitate his capture and blamed Tokyo Monsterville for scrambling the signal and he was going to notify Toho about all the bootlegs floating around in the Kaiju Nations.
Needless to say, he was pissed and started talking about how this all originated at TM with the real FINAL WARS broadcast and it was absolutely ridiculous that he gets blamed for them scrambling his broadcast. The hunt was soon on for both Pimp and Kornfreek.
Meanwhile, the citizens of Goji's Stomp were celebrating the demise of their 'feared' neighbors when Sauron appears on a discussion panel and declares the whole situation suspicious.
Did Mayor Gary of Goji's Stomp actually have the signal scrambled to get Tokyo Monsterville to attack Maser City? Gary and his trusted Mod, Ryouga Saotome, explode at this accusation and a flame war erupts across the link-up, soon insulting the representatives' cities and their residents as well.
Chapter Five: MARCH 22nd
The following day, James Ballard is requested by Toho to come to Japan but Tokyo Monsterville will be in the able hands of its Admins and Mods. He will miss the weekly Super Saturday Update event but promises to give a full report when he returns. Martial law is now in effect due to recent guerrilla attacks so drastic measures are called for.
The three main 'culprits' have been identified and City Administrator Gorosaurus declares, "It is only temporary because I have hopes that the felons will soon surrender. After all, I can certainly understand their frustration. Unfortunately, I can't understand what led them to point fingers here. But the main point is to inform the populace that the Mods here have all set their phasers from 'stun' to 'kill.'
"In effect until the end of this month, any citizen of whatever community who makes an obvious attempt to disrupt the peace of Tokyo Monsterville will find themselves banned. This goes for Internet spammers and flame war hawks as well as just about anyone we see as a possible threat. If you so much as EMAIL what we deem might be aggressive, your Internet access will be destroyed promptly and without warning. If you return either online or to our city limits, the responding Mods have the authority to shoot you on sight if they so choose.
"Please understand that these measures are only temporary and should weed out those who would hurt Tokyo Monsterville rather than help it grow to be a thriving, peaceful member of the Kaiju Nations. Thank you for your understanding and we apologize that precautions must be taken this far. However, we are hoping to preserve a much brighter future so the ends justify the means."
Monster Master also made an appeal to the viewing audience. "Hopefully, things will cool off but I have a feeling I'll be banned from Goji's Stomp. I just stuck up for Maser City and basically told everyone at the Stomp to grow up... I'm moving to Tokyo Monsterville!"
Gojira07 also publicly declared that everyone at the Stomp needed to grow up. "Half of them act like 12 year olds! It's saddened me and I find myself also wanting to move away from there. But now that MC is occupied by Monsterville, we'll have to see how that effects the rest of the Kaiju Nations."
Ben-H gave a scholarly dissertation on what many considered a vibrant community. "Sadly, this is true. Not too long ago, most residents were high school and college educated. Now, an exponential increase in the number of immature folks in leadership positions could seriously plague the Stomp. While age doesn't always mature the person, most younger residents' IQ matches their chronology. It's really dumbing the place down."
Chapter Six: TOKYO MONSTERVILLE
During the 23rd and 24th of March, things started getting a little odd around Tokyo Monsterville. Pimp and Korn arrived, their forces admitted to the heart of the city by Shawntallica. It quickly turned into a war zone as the Mod further abused his powers and betrayed James Ballard as soon as he was on his way to Japan.
March 26th dawns over Tokyo Monsterville and the entire Kaiju Nations are shocked! Their beloved turtle mascot WELCOME TO TOKYO MONSTERVILLE signs have been blown to bits and replaced with billboards proclaiming the community as MASER CITY! The place has taken on a totally different look and feel with the most odd ball stuff going on!
The TM staff has been banished from the city. The Maser City Legion of Doom lets the Kaiju Nations know that Shawntallica has indeed let them take over the town as their own, kicking out Jorzilla, GMM Mothra and Gorosaurus. Ryouga Saotome remains neutral but is noticeably angered by these actions. Shawn, on behalf of Project Pimp, announces that the traditional Super Saturday Update will not take place today as Pimp pre-empts all regularly scheduled programming.
KOOL MEDIA UPDATE!
"'Oh no! No media! No leeching! This is why we love Tokyo Monsterville! They give us stuff! Wah! Wah! Whatever shall we do!?'
"Apparently, all you understand is free media so I'll go that route to spell it out for you. For the Super Saturday Update, your glorious leader has prepared a VIDEO about our evil plans...
flashes on the screen and reading almost like a ransom letter, the true horror unfolds.
"Hello, there... Name's Project Pimp. You've probably heard of me as I'm pretty famous around here now. The point is, you're going to hear a lot more of me, and pretty damn soon. I now run Tokyo Monsterville. That's right, this city now belongs to me and there's nothing you can do about it. James Ballard has been banished and so have his Mods. You're probably going to be next. Not from Monsterville, I mean. Other cities are going down, too. Next on our list is Goji's Stomp. Yes, that's right! We're going to take them down, too! [evil laughter] But that's now. Others will fall as you'll see!
"I heard that somebody was going to bring my head on a platter to G-FEST. Well, wouldn't you say that now that Tokyo Monsterville is under the control of Maser City that I have effectively cut them down to size? Yes... I suppose that is fair enough. [laughter] Well, I'll see you at G-FEST, too. I have an army of minions waiting to destroy all of you in person. As if Tokyo Monsterville wasn't enough for those of you who live there [chuckle]. It's like I crushed your house, isn't it? Well, anyway, you'll not only be seeing more of me but also my evil minions: Zillamon, Kornfreek, Space Gamera and Shawntallica. The Legion of Doom is also at my command. I'm your ruler now. Get down on your knees and worship me! [evil laughter] See ya!"
"Get it?" Shawn glares at his viewing audience. "This is more than just some hostile takeover of a city that's long since been past whatever spotlight people put it in... This is a revolution! Tokyo Monsterville wanted to take down Maser City!? It looks like that entire plot blew up in their faces, just like so many before this...
"Welcome to the new Maser City homestead! Enjoy your stay because if I hate you (and be assured, I probably do), it'll be a short one. TM is DEAD!"
After the video, Pimp threatens to take down Goji's Stomp and Roostville. Tensions rise between the two cities and Mayor Gary is soon banned from Roostville while Saruman is banned from the Stomp. Suddenly, Project Pimp and his evil minions hack their way into the town's broadcast facilities and spam the Intranet forums and air waves with their crappy FINAL WARS
Mayor Gary and Sauron are in a real mess, trying to stop the illegal signals. Ryouga attacks Shawntallica on the Stomp's feed and tells the citizens that he expected better from him and that this attack is the most asinine thing he and the others could do. Shawn pulls the plug on the broadcast and banishes him from Tokyo Monsterville.
Chapter Seven: GOJI'S STOMP
On March 27th, Goji's Stomp presents a town meeting simu-cast on all stations entitled WARNING FROM THE FUTURE!
Monster Master emcees the program.
"Many of you heard about the crisis between Tokyo Monsterville and Maser City. Well, Maser City has taken over TM and banished the Admins and they've said many times over that Goji's Stomp is their next target. We need security around here at the max. Just thought I'd give my fellow citizens the heads up before the big impact." His message is greeted with derision.
Gatenboru shouts, "You're a little late with the information since it has become common knowledge!" he laughs at Monster Master. "We're OWNED!"
Godzooky tries to step in. "I just escaped from Tokyo Monsterville and realized that myself. I came here and learn that we are indeed the next target!!! I'm scared but what is with Maser City? I read the news reports about the FINAL WARS thing and asked myself, 'What's with Maser City? Why do they want to do this?'
"Don't go to Tokyo Monsterville! You will understand if you see it! Will the city survive? I love the place but not as much as this one, of course. What are we supposed to do? Grab our guns, learn how to use nunchuks? Throw tomatoes at them???"
Gojira07 had been at Goji's Stomp for some while and declared, "This news is old hat. We already had a childish attempt at this take-over stuff during the summer. Everyone who was involved with that has been banished from here. People seriously need to get lives! Civil wars between cities are childish and result in nothing. It is sad to see something like this happen to a good place like TM but the lesson learned is this: 'Never trust MC scum!' I knew it was a bad thing when MCers were permitted to hold positions of power at TM. People seriously need to get out of there now!"
"Isn't Goji's Stomp well protected with the newest sorts of weapons? I think Gary has a safety zone established already. Let's all calm down and figure out the best plan of action."
"I don't want to lose my place! I just moved there!" someone yelled from the audience. "I love Tokyo Monsterville but I never heard of Maser City. Will Tokyo Monsterville be able to survive? This is so sad..." Mayor Gary of Goji's Stomp finally came to the podium amidst loud applause.
"I really don't think Pimp can attack this city at all. He's not even a military leader. All he did during the summer was remote host a huge load of images, thereby eating up our bandwidth. Since I have anti-leeching enabled, there's absolutely nothing he can do to our intranet. Pimp's just a phony. The only way he took over Tokyo Monsterville was that Shawntallica gave him and his troops free passage, I'm assuming."
Gigan71 from Goji's Stomp was not impressed. "TM would not let those MC scum bags disintegrate their city like that nor any other respected member of the Kaiju Nations! This is for real! It's not even April 1st yet so that's even more proof that this is not a joke."
Rodzilla had his doubts about Tokyo Monsterville's situation. "I see what you're saying but there are things that just don't add up. Star Hunter, for instance, completely does an about face. I don't buy that. Then there is only the City Hall being messed with. If you want to destroy something, destroy the whole thing. Why not just banish everyone? It's feeling like a bad joke!" Gigan71 came over to join him.
"You have a point there. They could have destroyed the whole town if they wanted to but then again, maybe Pimp is having a little fun with them before he finally executes everyone in a few days. It's gonna be interesting to see what happens. Huntie is one of them MC people, too, even if he has always been hanging around here."
Godzilla Xtreme came charging up to the mike. "If you guys want to protect your skins and this town, don't start a war with Roostville because it was the first kaiju town I'd ever been to and I don't want it to go the way of TM. Please focus on Maser City, not Roostville!
"Don't even get me started on Roostville... ugh" Ryouga Saotome bellowed. "They made many enemies. They do not take the warnings of Mayor Gary, Monsterzeroville and TM citizens seriously. They will be targeted but it just won't be for a while. Unlike the Stomp and TM though, they can actually prevent it from happening. Now you see why so many people hate them.
"What do you expect when it's run by people like Morgoth and Saruman? They are not doing themselves any favors by pissing off another large city, as well as ignoring Monsterzeroville's warnings. Saruman isn't actually that bad but Morgoth is on a jihad against the most idiotic things, considering what he allows to go on in his town."
Godzilla Xtreme stood up in Roostville's defense. "Don't say that! The Dark Lords are good guys! I'm not saying that you guys aren't because you are, too. It's just completely rude to say that. They have a great city!"
Super Saiyan4Godzilla finally got the courage to speak out about what he had observed. "There is one thing that is getting me. They are banned so how can they come back and visit? It still says they are banned on the City Roster! Unless we have a spy in our midst that can let them back in, do what they want to and get out of town again. This whole Stomp versus Roostville thing, I am neutral on but honestly, I hope there is no takeover... It is crazy what you can do with a computer nowadays!"
"'Unless there's a spy'," Tenor Bass mocked. "Jeez, with talk like that, this is gonna become another version of John Carpenter's THE THING! I'm laughing now but seriously, I hope this blows over soon. Maybe it's Giganmaster and Forte!" The Stomp crowd roared with laughter at such an idea.
Ocarina had apparently been watching too much science fiction when he announced that he was nearly certain that there is a program that somehow nulls being banned for an instant and miscreants can re-enter their town.
"I think that's just a cheap SFX stunt that interrupts a line of the PHP matrix with some type of cosmic signal tone. Nothing too serious, I think... But I still stand firm in my belief that they can't do anything." Gojira07 was not impressed.
"The thing you have to remember is that these guys don't have lives. They spend all their time terrorizing people. They will keep coming back because they are like hackers. It's pretty hard to stop them. You banish them and they magically reappear. I think the biggest problems are the people that they buddy up with who laugh at their dirty jokes and support them. It's sad really to see the Kaiju Nations having to endure this. But there is life outside this media circus this is becoming..."
"I'm going to give my two cents worth and then I'm going home to watch the rest of this on TV," Tim85 declared. "I think the best way to handle this and show our support for Mayor Gary and our fair city is to go about our business like nothing's wrong. And if they do something, like somehow sneak in when they're banned, ignore it and stay the course. I have faith that Mayor Gary and the Mods will take care of everything."
By noon on March 29th, Monster Master was kicked out of Goji's Stomp for just mentioning his web site.
"I wasn't even the one who started this mess!" he screamed on the Noon Report. "This is pathetic... truly. I always thought the Stomp was over this kind of stuff. I guess what Roostville thinks about you guys being immature is true after all. Frankly, I'm gonna be laughing when this place gets taken down by the Legion of Doom!"
Twelve hours later, Godzooky makes an impassioned plea across the allied network feed.
"Just answer me this: why does he want to do this? Is Goji's Stomp even a part of this Tokyo Monsterville and Maser City war thingy? These aren't the only Kaiju towns out there. Isn't this illegal or something???"
The next day, it all starts crashing down. Star Hunter received a pissed off e-mail from James Ballard in Japan about how absolutely absurd this war was. It is treated with total mockery and some real harsh words on the 100,000 watt TM/MC clear channel when suddenly, Boom!
Tokyo Monsterville is off the air and a Japanese-sounding guy from Toho demands they cease and desist. He gives a direct link to the official Godzilla message board at Atari-Land if they need to have communication so badly.
The Maser City Legion of Doom seeks asylum at Goji's Stomp and Roostville, turning over hundreds of copies of their FINAL WARS film which is now known to be fake but people still grab them up or get massively irritated, threatening to execute them on the spot. As he is about to get his head blown off on live TV, Project Pimp announces that he has sent a message to Toho, informing them that Roostville is also distributing the bootleg.
Back at Tokyo Monsterville, the couch potatoes are melting down. GFW Unlimited calls its citizens to the town square to make an announcement.
"I've decided to leave for good because I can't take this much reality anymore. It's what's best for me but there are plenty of other towns to go to that have CNN. I made my decision and will stop now before I cause any more damage around here. I admit it! I subscribed to the FINAL WARS Pay-Per-View!"
"I might leave, too!" Castrated Piggy declares, offering GFW a hanky to cry in. The resident Spammerite is served with an Order of Banishment before he ever leaves the square.
"Woah! I got banned? Can I stay at Maser City, please?" he asks the Legion of Doom minion who is about to escort him to the city limits. "It will save me the trouble of having to make up a new identity..."
Chapter Eight: FINAL WARS
On March 31st, Goji's Stomp goes off the air, leaving a test signal and this message on their only remaining TV channel:
Toho Co., Ltd.
Seyfarth Shaw Attorneys LLP
One Century Plaza, Suite 3300
2029 Century Park East
Los Angeles, California 90067-3063
Re: GODZILLA FINAL WARS
To: Federal Communications Commission:
We represent Toho Co., Ltd. ("Toho") in intellectual property matters. Toho is the owner of all rights in and to the trademark and service mark GODZILLA and the GODZILLA characters. Toho has obtained numerous trademark and service mark registrations for GODZILLA and related marks in the United States and around the world. Copies of Toho's U.S. Registrations for GODZILLA and the GODZILLA character image are attached.
Toho is also the sole legal owner of all copyrights to works in the GODZILLA motion picture series. Said rights are exclusive and cover the reproduction and distribution of the GODZILLA films in all forms of media, known and unknown, including but not limited to theatrical exhibition, video tape, video disc and downloadable internet content. Attached is the registration from the United States Copyright Office belonging to Toho for the film GODZILLA FINAL WARS.
It has come to our attention that the Township of Goji's Stomp is offering the film GODZILLA FINAL WARS as a Pay-Per-View television broadcast. This is a clear violation of our client's copyright regarding said film. The Township of Goji's Stomp is using said film for its own enrichment, without the authorization of Toho. Toho has no prior or current business relationship with the Township of Goji's Stomp.
Additionally, the on air availability of GODZILLA FINAL WARS is damaging to Toho's ongoing efforts to secure legitimate distribution agreements with other firms involving the rights to said film.
Now that you have been advised of Toho's exclusive copyright to GODZILLA FINAL WARS and its concerns about potential damage to Toho's intellectual property and business opportunities, we trust that you will:
We appreciate your anticipated cooperation and look forward to receiving your prompt response to this letter with a statement of your intentions by midnight local time, March 31, 2014.
- Promptly insist that the Township of Goji's Stomp immediately cease and desist unauthorized distribution of GODZILLA FINAL WARS; and
- Agree in the future to take such steps as necessary to prevent the unauthorized use of Toho's intellectual property; and
- Be aware that failure to adhere to relevant legal guidelines regarding intellectual property may result in future action on behalf of our client to establish compliance.
Very truly yours,
Joan K. Larkin,
Seyfarth Shaw Attorneys LLP
One Century Plaza, Suite 3300
2029 Century Park East
Los Angeles, California 90067-3063
The information contained in this transmission is attorney privileged and/or confidential, intended for the use of the individual or entity named above. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited.
Roostville citizens cheer as the news of Goji's Stomp's predicament spreads across the city and preparations are made for an even more elaborate public execution of the Legion of Doom's leaders. For some strange reason, Project Pimp does not seem concerned about his impending fate as Sauron interrupts the ongoing news coverage with a dire message:
"We cannot guarantee how much longer the Roostville Cable and Telephone Company will be able to provide services to our subscribers." The Toho letter comes up on the screen as Roostville comes face to face with the reality of Pimp's threat. "We are making every effort to continue broadcasting and providing other communications options to the city of Roostville. Further details will be made available as more information on this situation develops. Stay tuned for additional updates."
As the day goes on, Sauron and the rest of the administration try to find all the FINAL WARS bootlegs scattered about town and get rid of them, even ordering the banning of citizens who so much as mention the title. As midnight approaches, it's all for naught as the Roostville Cable & Telephone Company and all local media is shut down.
The Legion of Doom executions are postponed pending restoration of live coverage and the villains are summarily tossed in a jail cell. Roostafarians stare blankly at test patterns on their TV sets and computer monitors that can now only bring up the dopey Atari-Land forum.
They have questions they need answered by ROOST TV, KIJU-106, Roostville News Network or Ultra Digital Q. Even an Extra Edition of the ROOSTVILLE CHRONICLE providing comprehensive coverage of the widespread unrest doesn't fill the bill the way favorite talking heads and local commentators would.
As for the Internet, it no longer connects to Roostville - no forums, chat rooms, AIM or web sites with monster stats, bad fan fiction or Kaiju roleplaying. With nothing better to do, weary Roosters call it a day but lay awake wondering:
Did Project Pimp and the Maser City gang REALLY take Roostville off the air or did Toho shut down the venerable RC&T like they did Maser City for sponsoring the GODZILLA: FINAL WARS film?
Is there even something more diabolic to all this? This all started in March so it couldn't be an April Fools joke. Or is it? No, wait... No... please... please don't say it is... is it? Oh God(zilla), please no, it can't be!
Chapter Nine: KAIJUPHILE.COM
It is now dawn, April 1st, 2014. Citizens tentatively turn on their TV sets, more out of habit before they remember what they could find. All there is to see is the Toho letter where the Morning Report should be with its ever-cheerful anchor crew bantering away about the previous day's events before starting on the more current topics of interest.
The Intranet and Internet are no better as 403 messages abound on internal pages and gateways redirect to the lame Atari-Land message board. Nothing remains of the city's web site now.
Furtive messengers go door to door in these early hours with the URL of a supposed 'PKP forum' that the Mod Angilas has somehow managed to create on ProBoards. There is a ray of hope as citizens scramble for their computers to nervously tap in the unfamiliar address.
It's there! A black and white picture of G54 with a train in his jaws greets the frazzled citizenry, deprived of electronic media for hours that seems more like forever. They quickly register and are soon announcing their salvation and adding to the rapidly growing number of posts on the little forum, oblivious of the havoc beyond the dead fish on their doorsteps and TP'd front yards.
The epic Battle of the Pranksters was on, with Kiryu Goji shooting his disgusting water balloons at GodofPH who was lobbing rotten tomatoes at him with his potato gun. Kiryu got an evil grin on his face but before he could do anything, he stepped on a whoopie cushion. He looked down just long enough for PH to fire a massive watermelon at him, knocking him over. Kiryu grabbed his hose, punctured it 100 times and threw it at PH, turned it on and got him utterly soaked.
Detective Bagoth of the RBI had been in contact with his counterparts throughout the Kaiju Nations ever since the disastrous FINAL WARS
broadcast on March 17th. Very much aware of intellectual property rights and the quality of the movie aired, he wondered what Maser City could have been thinking in the first place.
Oddly enough, Tokyo Monsterville's Jim Ballard had advised his Mods to squelch all local public protest and coverage of the event as if it never occurred. The 'official' word was that there could be 'fall-out' on his community and left it at that. Was it because he and Star Hunter had originally presented it on their Pay-Per-View a while back, but fully supported by Toho? Further investigation revealed that relations were already rather rocky between TM and Maser City but for it to result in a full blown civil war over a MOVIE? It just didn't make sense to him.
The occupation of Maser City by Tokyo Monsterville was indeed an act of war in anyone's book but the Kaiju Nations were not governed by any UN-type oversight or peacekeeping group. Sauron's suspicions about Goji's Stomp in the mess had come up negative but Ryouga Saotome badmouthed Roostville every chance he got. Very out of character, Mayor Gary was doing the same thing. Naturally, the locals found out about it and only the travel restrictions due to the civil unrest kept the more thin-skinned ones from going over there and giving the young upstart a good thrashing.
The normally laid back town was soon a tinder box, with fights breaking out in the streets as well as the many bars. At least after the Mods cracked down on the more vocal troublemakers and let them cool their heels in jail, most folks were content to keep their comments to themselves or the various ROOST TV talk shows.
"Better talk than fighting," Bagoth figured. Still, it was strange that James Ballard was requested to come to Japan and get with Toho about something or other. Maybe they had become fed up with the pirates and bootleggers that thrived in the Kaiju Nations who figured they were just doing what comes naturally as far as giant critter flicks went.
Previously, everyone had gotten along rather well and more often found themselves banding together against common, outside threats ranging from hostile aliens to rampaging Kaiju. Japan even appreciated them assisting the mainland with their frequent crises in this respect.
He had hoped that Ballard and Pimp would just sit down and iron out their differences but instead, Pimp had taken over Monsterville and turned it into an annex of Maser City, over run with Spammerites and outcasts who had been banished from the other communities.
Even Atari-Land had gotten involved when Kiryu 2005 of Tokyo Monsterville showed up and let everyone know that his home town had been taken over by "idiots and now it sucks."
Metabolic, in the meanwhile, was touting the place's 'new management' and how it was "better than ever. This place is dying fast so come join us!" Bagoth shook his head and sighed.
It seemed that only Toho Kingdom retained any sense of sanity until the night of March 26 when Super Saiyan4Godzilla pre-empted the Evening Movie to declare that "Maser City is on the loose" and wondered if they would "seek revenge". The town quickly mobilized but the broadcast was most disturbing as Bagoth reviewed the transcript which had been annotated Don't watch the video unless you want to. It was a replay of the TM Super Saturday Update.
"This is why I am glad none of those people from MC come here," SSG declared. He insisted they were going after Goji's Stomp, judging from the video. The entire town had been listening for Toho Kingdom to be mentioned and feared Shawntallica was indeed planning on taking over the entire Kaiju Nations.
"This will be like the apocalypse of all Godzilla and Kaiju fandomhood. It's gonna be a war unless we stop him... Shawntallica... will take over this town, too - my home. I say we must stop him but with what?" He was quickly hauled off and Special Agent Inferno Rodan had noted on his report that He sounds like one of the Simeons... Oh, well...
Mireg2003 at least was able to wrap up the pre-emption but noted, "If he gets into Goji's Stomp, my home town... What has the world come to?"
Mayor Arbok made a hasty appearance and officially declared, "This is a multi-city war in a tea kettle. Toho Kingdom's policy has always been the same and will remain so: no involvement with other city's affairs. Period."
"Finally a man of reason," Bagoth sighed.
But then there was Eternal Mothra's dire message: "This is not so good... I was just at TM. The place is in chaos. Pimp has threatened to take over other cities. I fear for Roostville. We have to protect it from him.
"I've been trying to help Tokyo Monsterville stay intact but everyone is ignoring me. Please send assistance. I'll try and help to the best of my abilities. Preserving the city is my top priority right now. Pimp's weakness is over-confidence but that won't be something we can use against him in the long run. Ballard will need help. They have this town so screwed up it's insane." There was no relief coming as Monsterville was supposedly 'under quarantine' and the Roostville Militia would not go there.
On March 28th, Atari-Land was mobilizing when Timothy2035 announced a NOTICE TO ANY MASER CITY CITIZENS:
I must say that whatever happened to Maser City is most unfortunate. However, whoever was involved in the take-over at Tokyo Monsterville may be in real trouble. You see, the threat from there is something that is being watched more closely now. If the take-over was not an inside job, then you all could be in serious trouble.
Although the individual has no actual liability, still there are legal matters that could be addressed to the city's administration. This also alerts other cities of the Kaiju Nations and will cause an uproar in a lot of different ways. I would suggest that you who are from Maser City surrender Tokyo Monsterville back over to James Ballard when he returns from Japan. That way, it will be smoother for you.
People from Maser City have tried to take over Atari-Land and that can make things bad for you if you mess with us. Being a corporation, we have lawyers and money to do some serious legal stuff. There is evidence that Maser City has been here before and caused havoc.
Now, you all have lost your city and taken over Tokyo Monsterville. There could be something moving against you starting tomorrow. I suggest Maser City stop now.
I am not threatening anyone but I don't want so many well-loved cities going down or being taken over because of the recent events. No, our city isn't doing so well. Some thought that it would and should die. Frankly, I wonder how and why. After all, it is the 'official' (we can call it that) city for Godzilla. Tokyo Monsterville and other cities are not.
This is by Godzilla Kungfu at Tokyo Monsterville, in response to this notice to MC members. It is unedited and a direct copy:
"Where are all these armchair lawyers coming from? It was well documented that Ballard gave the keys to his city to MC folks. Even if there are people still wondering, HE GAVE AWAY HIS CITY! This isn't attacking so there is nothing anyone can do."
"So with this in mind, why would James leave anyone behind with the chance to make things look bad for a well-loved community? Project Pimp is supposed to be one of the trusted Mods who became the big cheese in a heartbeat. I wonder what James is thinking now?!"
Agent Eric Dent noted that Atari-Land does not get any respect but, "As long as people act civilized, I am happy. Maybe when GODZILLA: FINAL WARS comes out (either in theaters or on DVD), this place will get some tourist activity again. Maybe there will be another game in the works as well!"
In the meanwhile, someone from Tokyo Monsterville had already contacted the FBI while on the home front, Lord Desutoroia Khandejifer had gathered his most prized possessions and prepared to move back to Canada.
On the 29th, Monster Master insisted Pimp was trying to take Roostville down. Angilas was also very concerned about Pimp but believed he was "just toying with us."
"Something bad could happen so please be on guard," he radioed Raptor before going out on patrol. Later, she had joined him on break and they had a moment to confer.
"I really don't like being such a jerk but this is wearing on me fast," he admitted. "And it's only getting worse. Sorry to drop out at a bad time like this but I'll be back later tonight. There is something I feel I must do... May God(zilla) help us." He cut his lights and took a back road out of the beleaguered city.
Then Cookson observed Raptor not making a traffic stop on a mysterious black car with TM plates as it slipped into town on a remote back road he was patrolling on his own accord.
"Why didn't she just blow that sucker away? They probably had a load of GFW tapes in that car!" he railed at the secretary who took his complaint. "If Raptor knows this is a prank, shouldn't you let someone know???"
Baragon2003 was all for going on a manhunt for Pimp and Kornfreek as if they had already gotten into the city. His request turned down by the already overstretched militia, he wished them luck but insisted they shouldn't give up too easily.
"Believe me, as a Mod at Toho Kingdom, I'm worried for them also, and for the others facing this mess! I wish Sauron luck. It's bad enough having Tokyo Monsterville out of the loop. I just hope no more towns go down." He stomped off to personally secure the subway lines.
Raptor later came by the RBI to advise that Sauron was trying to fix whatever was letting Maser City hack into the city's Intranet and over-ride over-the-air broadcasts.
"It looks like ALL the Kaiju Nations are in for a rough ride with these ninnies running rampant..." Bagoth couldn't have agreed more with her assessment.
On March 30 at 10:43 PM, Aragorn Strider reported from Toho Kingdom that Roostville had been taken over.
"They're down and out for now but through the chat room before the feed went out, Maser City was claiming that Toho Kingdom would be next. Just thought I'd give you a heads up. Hopefully, what has happened to other places won't happen here."
But even earlier, Seer 235 of the Megaguirus Hive had messaged, "Problem: big. Whichever one of you gets there first, stop Deadly Foetus. It seems their timing is getting better. If need be, perhaps temporary Mods should be appointed to get rid of the likes of him if no other help is available."
That did not make sense at all to Bagoth. It wasn't until midnight of the 31st that the Roostville Cable & Telephone Company shut down. Sauron had realized the implications of the Toho letter Goji's Stomp had received and every effort was made to find all the FINAL WARS bootlegs scattered about town and get rid of them. Prior to that, Angilas had gotten his remote facility online at 8:13 PM.
Rodan2000 was normally not one to panic and he wasn't to that point yet but what with all the threats and supposed actions of Pimp and his band of cronies, he thought there might be some truth behind their claims.
"And if there is, there would be heck to pay without some sort of a back-up plan. I think we should establish some kind of a temporary Roostville for if their threats have some reality in them. And if worst comes to worst, we'll at least be prepared. What with two other towns down, it couldn't hurt." He was advised of Angilas' efforts and immediately took off for the secret location.
At noon had come a warning from Megaguirus Monarch at Toho Kingdom. "It happened and shall happen again. Goji's Stomp looks like the town is dead. It's Project Pimp! Look out, seriously. He'll be destroying this town, too! Goji's Stomp... I am very sad. Will there be a way to bring these places back??? My fan fics are at Goji's Stomp and they are very precious to me."
Super Saiyan4Godzilla figured GS was most likely taken down by Toho with all those GFW boots floating around.
"They see the error they made, their broadcasting licenses will be restored. 'Exceeded Bandwidth' on their Intranet! Ha ha! If anything, MC took it down but, eh, I got other 'hoods."
Aragorn still insisted Pimp got Roostville also but added, "I have sources that tell me that it's all one big joke that was set up by the administrators of each town but then I saw the pictures of what was happening in those places... Now I can't get the images out of my head they are so terrible."
That did it for Bagoth. Why were some people thinking the collapse of the Kaiju Nations and the rapid takeover of three viable communities was a ruse of some sort? And who could possibly be behind it? It wasn't as if the Dark Lords were up to their usual little intrigues about town. This involved Goji's Stomp, Tokyo Monsterville and Maser City also. Besides, they all had a bunch of petty squabbles with one another, everything from pirating broadcasts to boundary line disputes. Not to mention citizens from any one of them not liking their neighboring communities?
It was such a ridiculous idea, Bagoth was thinking Raptor and Angilas were actually orchestrating the whole thing from their little set-up in the foothills.
"Knowing what WEI is capable of coming up with, I probably won't be the least surprised at what I find out there!" Furious, he stormed out of the RBI Building and headed for Mt. Aso.
PH was wondering why he was firing rotten tomatoes from his potato gun while he could be firing potatoes instead. He loaded it with baked potatoes and started using them instead. Kiryu Goji continued to throw the smelly water balloons at him but an accurately fired potato caught him right in the chest. Kiryu retaliated with a stink bomb which landed at PH's feet, causing him to smell like an over-heated horse. It was about that time when Kiryu's most devastating prank went off.
He had filled the sewers with green goop and when he pressed a button on his chest, the stuff was launched out. Literally tons of greenish-blue goop covered the streets, sticking to everything and everyone. PH's feet were immediately caught in the stuff. Kiryu laughed and began singing CAN'T TOUCH THIS while dancing poorly on his porch.
As Bagoth ascended into the foothills below Mt. Aso, he had a strange feeling he was being watched. Getting out of his car to sneak up on the huge tower on foot, he heard a raven's call.
"Strange... we have crows around here but not ravens..."
When he got to the base of the tower, no one was around but there was plenty of equipment scattered around, including the huge satellite dish he remembered seeing in Gamingboy's back yard. Heavy electrical cables snaked across the ground from it to the tower and up to an array of relay dishes. What the purpose of the devices in the various electronics banks were, he had no idea but intended to find out. Before he made the decision to draw his gun and go poking around further, Raptor told him to fish it out real slow and drop it.
"Sorry, Detective," she apologized, retrieving his piece from where she had him kick it and keeping her own weapon on him. "Have a seat and we'll get you up to speed." Angilas appeared from behind another boulder and Rodan2000 glided in for a landing. Bagoth looked at the 'dac and asked what other bird calls he could do.
"Not many, but I'm getting in some practice," he grinned.
"Do you have any information as to what might be going on with the broadcasting and internet situation?" Angilas asked.
"I was going to ask you the same thing," Bagoth frowned, hooking a thumb at their collection of equipment. "Gamingboy isn't going to be too happy about his dish disappearing."
"So we appropriated it. Apparently, we have a bit of a state of emergency going on," Raptor offered. "Besides, he's off on 'hiatus' somewhere again."
"Have you been able to pick up any signals with that thing?" Bagoth asked.
"Just from Atari-Land, Toho Kingdom and Monsterzeroville," Angilas replied. "Strange thing is, they seem to have a news black-out in effect as far as the attacks on the other Kaiju Nations are concerned."
"There also seems to be a rumor going around that this civil war is all a big April Fool's joke or something," Raptor snorted. "Then TK's Nuclear Godzilla got to expounding on how a lot of the Kaiju Nations have been experiencing hacker problems in the past few weeks. He thinks that's why Tokyo Monsterville, Roostville and Goji's Stomp are off the air. He's begging anyone who knows any hackers to turn them in.
"Shawntallica and Project Pimp are also suspected of using electronic wizardry to create mass panic among our various citizenry and should be banished from the continent or put behind bars for the rest of their natural lives. Of course, everyone is outraged that they don't have their local media fix."
"And that's what I'm here about," Bagoth glared at the three in turn. "Whatever is going on needs to be stopped. Toho and the Japanese government apparently aren't very happy with some of the towns around here. The RC&T getting its license pulled is bad news for everyone.
"A lot of people are not aware of what all Toho doesn't particularly approve of. Just how long sanctions will be in place still remains to be seen. As for local reaction, Super Saiyan4Godzilla is right about just keeping calm about it all. I myself can't see GS or Roostville being 'hacked' by pirates. Nuclear Godzilla needs to get his facts straight before trying to start a mass panic like that. If it's Toho, they will see their error."
"Fine and dandy," Angilas replied. "Besides the doomsayers, there's also THE GODZILLA who claims there's a giant 'wall' of some sort around TK that will protect them and everything will be OK. Get real, people!
"So what if this was started by something really dumb? Right now, we're trying to deal with it the best we can. TG feels sorry for Baragon who's been through three losses of local broadcasts and Internet service. Woopey do! At least he pitched right in and got us Gamingboy's satellite dish instead of just wringing his hands about the whole thing at Atari-Land. Are they gonna care that Vega called the Federal Bureau of Investigation on some phantom hackers? I don't think so. They're just happy to see all the refugees over there adding to the tax base.
"Shigamado is laughing his head off, thinking Tokyo Monsterville did get hacked and their intranet re-directed to Atari-Land's. He figures Maser City lost control of the TM facilities but it turned out Gorosaurus remotely facilitated the link-up to protect their database.
"CyberZilla05 agrees that MC could be spread too thin but reminded them that Pimp threatened to go after ALL the Kaiju Nations. Of course, he got banished from TM by MC himself and is no doubt looking for a second chance somewhere else. Strange that he also swears at least one 'MC idiot' has been sighted around Atari-Land but is under investigation and being observed. He swears that 'They will get caught.' I personally wonder how effective the Legion of Doom will be without its leaders who WE happen to have incarcerated."
"Speaking of CZilla, strange he should mention that Legion members are being 'tracked' and face charges under U.S. and international laws as well," Raptor added. "He really seems to have a personal vendetta against them but wants them to stay away from Atari-Land. Maybe he does bear investigating also."
"I wouldn't be surprised," Bagoth sighed. "But since I'm here and not there, you folks mind explaining exactly what YOU are up to?"
"Of course not!" Angilas huffed. "I simply set up an intranet for Roostville, remotely hosted on ProBoards. Thus the transmission equipment." Raptor nodded and Bagoth went to check the various components. There was indeed nothing sinister about their little clandestine operation. About 30 Roostafarians were logged on to the forum and posting messages like crazy.
"Are you able to pick up any video?" Bagoth asked.
"No, afraid not," Raptor admitted. "Roostville Cable is shut down and this rig requires line-of-sight, which we can't get, even from up here. TM and GS also aren't putting out a signal. I haven't been able to get ahold of Sauron so I don't know what the situation might be at the station. I guess we could check and see if there is anything we could 'borrow' to maybe pump this rig up a bit..."
"Good idea," Bagoth agreed. "Rodan, would you keep an eye on the site here? Anyone tries to take it out, just terminate them. RBI orders." R2K grinned and went aloft to scout for any possible threats while Raptor and Angilas headed for the RC&T facility with Bagoth.
Sauron was in his secret lair beneath the RC&T building when his GPS monitor beeped.
"Good thing I put a bug on Bagoth's car!" He had been able to hear everything that was said on the mountain and quickly proceeded to take extreme action now that they were headed for the studio. With the underground facility secured, he went topside and made the necessary preparations under the cover of darkness.
Bagoth, Raptor and Angilas soon descended from the foothills and turned onto the back road leading to the station. Sauron pressed a button on his portable control board and a large explosion went off just in front of the lead vehicle. Slamming on their brakes and rapidly backing up, the investigators bailed out to regroup.
"The place has been booby-trapped," Raptor figured. "We'd better be mighty careful if we intend to get any closer. They were soon convinced that the run-down studio might be a key to possibly figuring out what was presently going on with the various Kaiju Nations, especially those that were off the air.
Using their particular talents to sniff out any more explosives before advancing, it was all for naught as a wall of flame burst from the ground before them, obscuring the station and sending the officers diving behind their vehicles, temporarily blinded by the brilliant display. From his well-hidden position, Sauron played his controls like a 4th of July fireworks show. Behind the flames, a series of explosions reduced the Roostville Cable & Telephone complex to a pile of rubble.
"NOT AGAIN!!!" Angilas bellowed in frustration. When the smoke cleared and their eyes adjusted to the darkness, a perfunctory call went out to the Roostville Fire Department.
"We'll just stick around and see if anything of note survived," Bagoth vowed. The others agreed, not wanting the loss of Roostville's communications facility to have been in vain.
With the very first explosion, citizens had taken note of its location and started heading for the scene from all directions.
"OH, NO!" Raptor shouted. "There could be other traps out front!" Jumping back in her cruiser and hitting the blue lights, she quickly drove around to the main approach along the shoulder of the perimeter road to avoid any possible mines. It was risky but worth it if she could keep even one Rooster from inadvertently getting himself blown up. The crowd had to content itself with forming up a block away as Mods held them back before beginning to scout for more explosives that could decimate the Fire Department when they arrived. Spotting the hydrant at the corner of the lot, Raptor secured the end of a roll of crime scene tape and began marking a path to the still burning building. Ang did likewise and they soon had a cleared area where the apparatus could safely cool down the wreckage.
From afar, Sauron de-energized his console and headed for a hastily called meeting with his fellow conspirators.
When the cable facility blew, Rodan 2000 swooped down from the hills to see what was going on. Roosters who had stumbled from their homes now stared off in the direction of their source for all things internet and broadcast. They were like zombies as they shuffled toward the disaster scene.
Angilas had printed up a bunch of calling cards with the URL to the ProBoard 'Kaijuphile' site. R2K had planned to distribute them from the air but what with the destruction of the RC&T, he feared those responsible might try to take out their little set-up also. Instead, he landed and when he came upon a Rooster he recognized, he personally gave them a card. Often, they quickly snapped out of their daze, rushing back home to log onto their computers. He left the remainder of his cards with Raptor and Angilas before returning to guarding the air space around Mt. Aso.
"Do you have any idea who might have done this?" Raptor asked Bagoth as they waited for the fire department to depart the crime scene. The RBI agent could only guess.
"The Legion of Doom leadership is in jail. Maybe someone simply saw a good opportunity to get back at the cable company for their crappy programming, the latest rate increase or whatever. We can only wait and see what forensics will reveal."
As Sauron conferred with his co-conspirators, he assured them that the destruction of the RC&T was a necessary price to pay with the RBI and savvy Mods snooping around.
"I did remove all the 'news' tapes that were broadcast so they can't be reviewed for authenticity."
"Good thinking," Morgoth agreed. "We can't be too careful when it comes to achieving our goal of totally OWNING the citizens of Roostville. Angilas' efforts should keep them from going totally bonkers in the meanwhile." Saruman had also taken the opportunity to log onto the 'Kaijuphile' site and was impressed with the initiative.
"We now have a vehicle for getting information to the masses which we can put to good use. I do not believe anyone suspects that the cable company might have been involved in this elaborate ruse also but since it isn't available, we should forward the Toho directive to PKP as a reminder of what the 'situation' is." It was agreed on and he departed for Mt. Aso.
By April 2nd at 6:44 PM, Sauron had managed to at least get the main Roostville database accessible for the coming work week, thanks to Ang's PKP.
"I don't know if you all were ever made aware of what happened back on August 11, 1998 when a computer housing all the city of Golemburg's records had a major meltdown. It was the result of a power surge rather than enemy forces but it effectively wiped out all of their files, records, data and history. I wasn't aware of this until late 1999 when I was looking for a place to settle down, having chosen the surface world over Middle Earth. In August 2000, Morgoth joined me there. As they say, the rest is history."
"At least this time, you can rightfully say that the Roost is back in business," Angilas grinned as Sauron cycled through the gateway and into the massive amounts of files that had accumulated over the years.
"Thanks to you, Ang. How would you like a field promotion to Technical Sergeant? I don't have any medals with me but you can expect one of those also when things settle down." The young Mod was stunned by the Dark Lord's unexpected praise and generosity.
Chapter Ten: FALL-OUT
Back at the Mod Station, Shigamado paid Project Pimp a visit as he sat in his jail cell, awaiting a grand jury investigation of his involvement in the destruction of several neighboring towns. Since there was no way to do a local live broadcast of an execution or other high-drawing PPV option, the more mundane and dreary route to justice was decided on.
"Looks like you failed in the long run or you'd be out free to enjoy the spoils of your actions! HA!! If you haven't noticed, Roostville has their main web site back up so having the cable company blown up didn't work. It will only be a matter of time before everything is back up - internet, cable and Pay-Per-View, too.
"With all the crimes you committed in the past month, you'll be in jail for the rest of your life, if they don't decide to just publicly execute you. Now THAT I wouldn't mind paying to see! Y'know what? You are nothing!
"From now on, and I highly suggest everyone else in Maser City who can't stand how you ran the place, abandon it and move on, as well as completely ignore anything you have something to do with in the future. All you really want is attention when you're trolling about but if we ignore you, then pretty soon, you'll go away from the public conscience and be NOTHING!"
Despite the sneer on his face, Pimp began to get worried as he had nothing to do with the TV station getting blown up.
Timothy2035 also got to wondering if MC was responsible, especially for what had happened to the other Kaiju towns.
"And who else was involved? Isn't he a member of TM, too? I suppose I don't need to worry about MC anymore. Still, if there is a conspiracy involved, it could very well effect us all..."
Metabolic very well knew the power of the Legion of Doom and the influence it exerted in the Kaiju Nations.
"Oh, you couldn't be more wrong. You need to worry about MC everywhere! You're just too stupid to realize they've broken many laws but nothing has happened to them. Maser City has at one point or another attacked EVERY major city in the fandom and nothing has, will, or can be done to them.
"Just face it: They rule this continent now and there is nothing you can do! Keep it up and they'll hack into your web sites and bring down every city that you frequent. That is not to be taken as some empty threat either so I suggest you just shut up with this legal stuff already. I'm tired of being told about the legal system by people who have no concept of reality, better known as the Legion of Doom.
"'Just ignore them and they'll lose their power and die...' Somebody has been watching too many cheesy supernatural horror movies." Agent Eric Dent happened to come into the Evil Lair where Metabolic was biding his time.
"Here we go again! Not another silly 'conspiracy' theory! Just quit it already! You don't have to be annoying everywhere you go. Keep it up and you can hit the road out of here. Roostville has enough problems as it is without you running your mouth. If you are truly Kaiju fans, like all of us here are, just leave us in peace."
Shigamado was also there. "Eric, dude, just chill. It's all over. It was just a huge April Fools joke. I wasn't duped and still not. I was the only one at TM to predict that there would probably be an April Fools joke. Move along, Eric. Nothing to see here. I will not be duped! Well, not 100% anyway. Maybe 10% duped. Maybe 40%... That James is into these sort of things. His official records NEVER showed him as being banned from TM. He never banned Kornpimp, or Project Pimp (which might've been the same person but I'm not sure) when they were messing with the forums before he left for Japan.
"Come to think of it, it's AFTER April 1st and the stupid stuff is still going on. Maybe it was no joke after all... Still, if it is one heck of a HUGE practical joke, I'd have to give a little props to all who helped pull it off. It still didn't help the cities involved at all, in my opinion. In fact, if anything, it hurt them, what with all the destruction of property. Why would they do this to their own towns? Why would they damage their reputations and stop all traffic into their cities? That and one more thing: IF YOU DO AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANNOUNCE IT SOMETIME ON APRIL FOOLS DAY!!! UGH!" The officer figured he probably would find no clues as to what might be going on at the Evil Lair.
While Raptor and key City Hall functionaries made sure the city database was back in shape for administrative use, Angilas' ProBoard was getting a work-out as Roostafarians considered the implications of a post by Saruman at 7:41 PM regarding the internet and cable service, as well as Sauron getting a C&D letter from Toho:
We are working on getting it back up but it might take a little while. We have had our attorney contact Toho's U.S. rep but it will probably be a week or two before everything gets straightened out.
There is also more than just a mixed-up issue with GFW. They want Rodan taken off the city's signs and the Kaiju smilies removed from the message board, as well as a few other changes.
So we will see what happens.
Of course, assorted citizens quickly got to work coming up with an alternative name for Roostville, even if Rodan did make his home on the continent's highest peak. Gyaos Roost
or maybe even Barugon's Nest
Monster Master: Baragon's Basement sounds good...
Neo-Crucifer: Just after we got that cool Orga smiley for the message board...
GodofPH: If we have to take Rodan off the city billboards along the Information Superhighway, Mayor Gary should have to take Godzilla off the Goji's Stomp signs! And why does Toho give a hoot about Kaiju smilies? Toho is waaay too protective of their monsters. You don't see Daiei getting all prissy about the Gamera smilies... I know what: Let's name it Daiei Kingdom! It could be like Toho Kingdom, only for Daiei!
Hank: What's next? Not allowing us to have user names of Kaiju? Hope all the Godzillas running around town don't mind turning into TURTLES!
Eternal Mothra: I better not have to change my user name!
RadoGoji: Mine is the name of the suit used in GvsMG2. This has since evolved into my screen name for about everything, from my email address to my FINAL FANTASY XI character to names I use for characters in off-line RPGs and other games. If they somehow get to deleting my account because I use the name, I'm going to be seriously pissed.
Sauron had also been monitoring the message board and another clandestine meeting took place. Various considerations were reviewed, including Atari-Land going back to being virtually deserted.
"I guess we could just have everything go back to normal. Each city calls in their troops and lets those basically trapped in their towns return home," Saruman suggested.
"When they find out the news broadcasts of the other towns' 'siege' and 'destruction' were faked, at least we don't have to worry about the Cable and Telephone Company being destroyed!" Goji Son laughed. Sauron assured everyone that SFX, Inc. would be ready to rebuild it as soon as the RBI got done with their investigation.
"If I pull them out of there, things would look a little suspicious, you realize..." Morgoth offered a suggestion to bring the most elaborate ruse to ever befall the Kaiju Nations to a peaceful close.
"How about the administrators of the affected cities make a joint announcement that Roostville does not hate the officials of Goji's Stomp and vice versa? They were never REALLY banned from either town. Project Pimp, Shawntallica and Kornfreek never infiltrated their way back into Goji's Stomp, despite being formerly banned. Mayor Gary voluntarily unbanned the Pimp and his 'evil minions' for the sake of THE PLAN. Roostville and Goji's Stomp's facilities were never shut down by Maser City hackers or Toho.
"The sites, the boards, broadcasting - everything will all go back up. We will scream 'APRIL FOOLS, SUCKERS!' from the top of a mountain... Or at least around the Internet. Most likely the Internet. So in conclusion, from all of us at Maser City, Tokyo Monsterville, Goji's Stomp and Roostville..." His impassioned finish was greeted with thunderous applause. Ryo reminded them all to make sure the banned members be given back their citizenship status. He was sure Shawntallica would even publicly forgive him for the postings he had made about him at various message boards. Sauron mentioned a post he had read from Cylonas.
"In about a week, he figures things will be back to normal and people will remember everything that happened just as fondly as those who bought into last year's FINAL WARS trailer." On that happy note, preparations were made for the simu-cast to the affected Kaiju towns.
Chapter 11: SHOCK VALUE
As the sun was about to set on April 3rd, the conspirators made their way to Roostville's City Hall where the truth would be revealed. Goji Son headed for the Mod Station to collect Pimp and Shawn with the reason being that the U.S. Marshals wanted them for their Maser City doings.
Sauron and the displaced RC&T crew set up their equipment in front of the entrance to the venerable building at the heart of Roostville. Citizens with nothing better to do soon stopped to watch what might develop. All they were told was that an important announcement was about to be made so they quickly stocked up on Werner Weiners and other edibles from the ever-present push carts that patrolled the area.
At the appointed time, Sauron was joined on the steps of City Hall by Shawntallica (the architect of THE PLAN), Ryouga Saotome (the Co-Ordinator), Project Pimp (the Instigator), James Ballard (who hadn't even left the continent, much less been summoned to Japan), Kornfreek; Mayor Gary of Goji's Stomp, Zillamon (representing the Spammerites he had shanghaied into providing 'background noise'), Space Gamera (Maser City's police representative), Saruman (the Master Planner), Morgoth (resident Evil Support) and Goji Son (military support). Pimp and Shawn were not in chains, which raised a few curious murmurs in the gathering crowd.
Sauron stepped up to the podium and addressed his audience. "Yes, you've been had by Roostville, Maser City, Tokyo Monsterville and Goji's Stomp! For all of you who had the sneaking suspicion that the 'War' was just an overly elaborate prank, congratulations. You were correct." As he and the other conspirators beamed at the stunned citizens, Morgoth delivered his address. When he proclaimed, "APRIL FOOLS, SUCKERS!", sheer pandemonium broke out.
"Kornpimp, you still suck! That was sick and not funny. You went too far on many occasions before but even if this was all just a big joke, you could've toned it down a bit," a displaced resident of Maser City yelled.
Kung Food tried to diffuse what he saw as a situation that could only get worse. "Oh, it's all water under the bridge now. And people (myself included) said some pretty inflammatory things to him so of course he'd respond in such a fashion. That, and it kind of keeps up the whole charade of him being a wannabe bad boy." The rest of the displaced Goji's Stomp residents then chimed in. Mothraleo thought it could be said that Roostville, GS, TM and MC ALL owned the Kaiju Nations since March 17th. He was laughing and Dare Devil soon joined him.
"Very good plan you guys had! All the major cities involved. I still can't believe it!" They might have thought it was funny but Monster Master didn't.
"You guys are jerks... AHHH! I closed the Monster Archives FOR NEARLY A WEEK BECAUSE OF THIS!! AHHH!!!" He was quickly restrained by several stalwart citizens as he tried to storm the podium. Oxygen Destroyer finally got everyone settled down and demanded to speak.
"Notice what day this is. April 3rd. An April Fool's prank has to be done on April Fool's Day. People were guessing this was all a prank DAYS ago if you were at Tokyo Monsterville, trying to cling to the hope that it was just a bad joke. Then by not announcing this was all a joke on April 1st, YOU BLEW IT!
"I'm glad Monsterzeroville didn't waste their time covering this 'war'. This is pathetic nonsense! For all the effort that went into this, the only fools are the ones who put their cities under martial law for days, or in MC's case, WEEKS, just so they could go 'Apri1 F00lz!!11 LoLz!!111!'.
"The egos of some people! To think that anyone would give a hoot about their cable TV or Internet access going down when there are so many other things to do in life is priceless." There was a stunned silence as he walked off but not for long.
Raptor was up at the tower on Mt. Aso, preferring its quiet, lofty view to the dispirited throngs in the city below. When the '10-100 (civil disturbance) at City Hall' call came over the radio, she and Angilas were quickly on their way, as was every other Mod, Deputy, RBI agent, EMT, fire fighter, paramedic, physician, nurse and even the Coroner.
It was a good half hour before the Mods could even think of getting anything sorted out. Their jail was full and the Dark Lords were missing, having wisely used their arcane powers to vanish before a barrage of everything from half-eaten hot dogs to more weighty objects assaulted the front of City Hall.
Ghido-G.I.N.O. from Goji's Stomp was in the vastly over-crowded holding cell, still screaming, "YOU GUYS ARE EVIL!!! EVIL!!! EEEVIIIIIILLL!!! And I'm an easy-to-fool dude! NO FAIR!" It looked like it was going to be a long night...
The instigators had meanwhile adjourned to Morgoth's Castle, well away from the seething masses but still under the vigilant protection of a full security detail.
"'Everything goes back to the way it was weeks earlier', eh?" Gary asked for about the 50th time, still trembling from the initial crowd surge before the Dark Lords got everyone out of there. All injuries and other mayhem had befallen the spectators as they got into it with their neighbors over whether it was or wasn't 'just a joke', whose home town was better/sucked and whether or not Roostville should have a mayoral election.
"For Maser City, what you witnessed back there is pretty tame," Project Pimp assured him.
Morgoth stood and raised his tankard. "I propose a toast to, as Ben-H so succinctly put it, 'the biggest and by far the BEST April Fool's prank in history'." Those in attendance drank deeply. Bringing forth a platter of rich and elegant canapes, Sauron addressed their next order of business.
"How are we going to top this next year?"
Has there ever been an April Fool's prank as diabolic as THE PLAN
? What effect
did it have on those who were snared in its web of intrigue and annual mayhem?
For some residents of Roostville, commendations were in order. When the uproar over the elaborate prank had died down about a month later, Bronze Stars were conferred on the following Roostafarians:
Demon Eyes Parker
On Mt. Aso, there remains a testament to this period in Roostville history, often simply referred to by its users as 'PKP'. Off in the distance, Maser City, Tokyo Monsters, GojiStomp and Kaijuphile once again serve the many residents of the Kaiju Nations.